Vibrating Harry Potter broom
If used properly, this should tend to ease whatever ails her.
Posted on 10/10/2002 8:31:53 AM PDT by Our man in washington
(The following is a letter that recently appeared in the Haverford-Bryn Mawr college newspaper. The context here is that "The Last Word" is a humor column in that college paper that is in the Dave Barry style. Just goofy stuff for fun, such as "Bryn Mawr to Build a Parking Space-Target Completion Date Set at Spring, 2008." Here is a recent letter to the college newspaper in protest.)
Dear Editor,
I would like to express my grave discontent with the humor section of the newspaper. The Last Word serves no purpose to the campus community and succeeds only in making a mockery of all that is true and good in the world.
Allow me to explain. Right now, across the world, there are literally millions, if not billions, of people out there who struggle each day just to survive. Many nations of the world are constantly suffering from famines, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and other natural disasters. Some, like those in Yugoslavia and Iraq, suffer not from natural disasters but from unjustifiable intervention by the United States. And, as if I have not made my point already, there are those within our very borders who never know if there will be food on the table in a week.
Yet, the Last Word is concerned with none of these things. Instead, it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself, who try to correct those problems, by trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work.
Well, I’m not laughing. And I’d bet, that if you actually took a poll of the Haverford and Bryn Mawr students, you would find I am part of a silent majority. That is why I ask that David Langlieb stop his immoral page and replace it one that is more productive, one that attempts to address the challenging issues of the modern world.
Sincerely, Jennifer Zachary-Higgins, BMC ‘05
Sincerely, Jennifer Zachary-Higgins, BMC ‘05
I wondered about that also. The class of '05 throws me off a bit. Usually the hyphenated name is used by womyn libbers. Not willing to take the name of the man they marry they wish to retain the man's name with which they were born.
I wonder if she really thinks that famines are natural disasters.
Don't forget about all those volcano eruptions!
Note to Jennifer: Sweetie, you better toughen up a little bit if you want to make in the real world. Now shut the hell up and go eat a tofu sandwich.
Even if she doesn't, she is unlikely to do much breeding.
Instead, it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself, who try to correct those problems, by trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work.
You've got a point about the hyphenated name, though. If I were arguing the case in court that this letter was written in seriousness, that would be my primary piece of evidence.
But this letter is such an obvious characature of left-wing sanctimoniousness that I'll chalk the hyphen up either to coincidence or the letter writer getting the characature correct down to the last detail.
Yeah Jennifer, it's all about you.
THAT is a frightening thought. /shudder
Not me! I didn't start to put on weight until years later. But I was really thin while I was going to college. </blonde>
Vibrating Harry Potter broom
If used properly, this should tend to ease whatever ails her.
As long as the XK doesn't land on your head ...
THAT is a frightening thought. /shudder
But probably accurate. How else would she reproduce?
Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to Jennifer Zachary-Higgins letter in Issue # 5. Quite frankly, this letter appalled me.
The author savagely attacks The Last Word section of the BiCo, calling it “… a mockery of all that is true and good in the world.” Unless I misunderstand, she says this for the following reasons:
A) She doesn’t think its funny, and
B) It serves no useful political function.
In regards to point A, she has every right to express her opinion. Tastes vary, and so do senses of humor. However, asking “… that David Langlieb stop his immoral page” because of this is extremely arrogant and offensive. I, for one, think that The Last Word is very funny, and I’m sure that many other readers agree with me. Just the fact that one student (or even many students) dislikes it is no reason to stop writing it. It so happens that I strongly dislike Laura Esquivel’s novel “Like Water for Chocolate,” and was somewhat miffed at the fact that my high school had it as assigned reading for both English and Spanish. Still, it never even occurred to me that I should tell Esquivel to stop writing—many people like her books, and their opinions are just as valid as mine.
If anything, point B is even more troubling. It states that The Last Word is “…trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work”. This in turn implies that art (which includes writing) has no value outside of its political content. This alarming notion is strongly evocative of the USSR under Lenin and Stalin, where the government insisted that all artistic products somehow further the cause of the glorious Communist Revolution.
Needless to say, artists who didn’t go along with the program tended to have very short life expectancies. I am aware that Jennifer Zachary-Higgins is not really calling for anyone’s execution. In fact, she’s not even calling for any actual censorship. Still, her letter presents a narrow-minded, ideologically-driven conception of something (art) that should, on the contrary, expand the mind. Sure, there has been plenty of great art that also had a political message. However, the real objective of art is to entertain people in a clever, well-conceived way. Whether any specific piece of art succeeds in this matter is very much a matter of personal opinion.
That’s my take on things. Long live The Last Word!
Sincerely,
Jeph Gord HC ‘04
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