Posted on 09/19/2002 5:26:17 PM PDT by vannrox
Working out the difference between chivalry and sexism may be a minefield for men, but most women would prefer them to be more gallant, a survey has found. Dr Lewis, author of Loving and Loathing: The Enigma of Personal Attraction, said: "Because more male than female babies are being born, society is becoming increasingly unbalanced. According to the poll of 800 adults for Glenlivet, the whisky brand, which is opening a male finishing school, it also depends on where a woman lives as to how she defines chivalry. Women in Somerset and Herefordshire are most likely to complain about the dearth of gallantry, whereas women in London and the South East are least likely to consider it a problem. Overall, one in seven women think gentlemen are quiet, modest and "never brash". Despite equality, women today still prefer gentlemen
While acknowledging that the sexual revolution is partly to blame for the destruction of the old- fashioned gentleman, half of women say men have little concept of social etiquette, politeness or courtesy.
They accuse men of behaving like gentlemen only when it suits them, although that view is held by seven out of 10 men themselves. One in 50 men say gentlemanly behaviour is for "snobs and wimps".
Dr David Lewis, a psychologist, said men who were successful in business and sport were still regarded highly by women. But chivalry and social graces, such as pulling out chairs, carrying the shopping, complimenting a woman on her appearance and opening doors, were often more important than money.
"This means competition between men for a partner will become fiercer, with men having to work harder to find and sustain a relationship. The British gentleman is on the verge of a renaissance."
The average male could still be forgiven, however, for being confused. Even the issue of wolf-whistling from builders is not clear cut. Women have become accustomed to ignoring ribald commentary and builders are now threatened with the sack if they flirt with passers-by. But many women would prefer the attention and "male honesty".
Both sexes thought the death knell for gentlemanly behaviour was sounded during the Sixties. Optimistically for British males, a third of women thought true gentlemen were found only in the UK.
They scored highest for their capacity for chivalry, followed by Japanese men and Italians. American, Australian and German men scored lowest.
Tony Blair is regarded as the most gentlemanly politician. John Prescott came bottom.
LOL! Thanks for the question Conservobabe. The answer is easy. I always hold the door. The woman's reaction tells me if she's a lady (they always smile & thank you).
Prompting gentlemanly behavior is almost the same as getting a puppy to wag its tail...you just pet them!
At Clinton's first inargural ball, he threw old Hillary around like a sack of potatoes on the dance floor, while waving over his shoulder at others in the room. And we never saw his daughter during the campaign until polls showed that most people had never even guessed that they had a child. And I do remember Clinton saying when Newt's mother called Hillary a bitch to Connie Chung, he said "why my mother would say the same thing". His mother was already deceased, if I recall.
A true gentleman respects the women in his life and Bill Clinton did not.
I try not to let my actions be manipulated in that fashion. A true gentleman is such in spite of those who do not value manners or honor. (Sometimes it's hard, and I confess I don't always meet my own standards. It can be a daily struggle.)
It is not for me to judge another's worthiness. It's also a bad idea to let yourself be defined by others.
As well you should, if you are a gentleman. Tis nice if a lady says thank you with a smile. (I always do). But, a true gentleman does not care if the woman does not. He knows in his heart that he is who he is, confident in his definition of gallantry.
So why were 2 out of 3 votes for Clinton in 1996 cast by women?
Wow! Will you marry me?
But he is absolutely correct. If you comment on a woman colleague's appearance, you can get fired, and taken to court for sexual harassment. That is the truth. That is the law. I have quit giving women colleagues any compliments at all on their appearance. Many years ago, I did it a lot in order to encourage them, and let them feel good. Now it is too dangerous. It is foolish to take a chance. Ladies, you can thank your feminist leaders for accomplishing this.
Minefield for men ?? If a woman can't appreciate chivalry, honor and courtesy, that's HER problem and I would not want to have a realtionship with her in any event.
It's easy to pick someone, male or female, who can identify with manners and they're worthy of such courtesy. Womyn are easy to profile and if my path crosses with their path, they're treated as equals - very easy.
Women who voted for Clinton are not ladies.
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