I'm looking for more options, myself. 
Or we could just watch WWF reruns.
To save everyone time and energy, let's just say
To Evolutionists
You are all a bunch of godless communists waiting for your chance to take our kids from us and indoctrinate them into homosexuality and keep them from God's Truth. There are no transitional fossils, no real evidence for fish becoming reptiles, and no such thing as macroevolution, only microevolution. And my grandfather was NOT an ape.To Creationists
You are all a bunch of Luddites waiting for your chance to continue where the Spanish Inquisition left off. You want to teach our kids myths and fables under the cover of science. Every fossil is transitional, and all the real evidence points to a common ancestor for all known species, and if you don't acknowledge the truth of all this, you are seriously delusional, or terminally stupid, or most likely both. And you ARE descended from pond scum.To the Rationalists
Your beliefs are just another kind of religion, another form of idolatry. You have assumed that reason alone is sufficient to reveal all Truth about everything that is. You have, without reason, totally discounted all possibility of anything transcending your puny minds. You are thumbing your nose and spitting in the face of God.To the Religionists
What, do they make you check your brain at the door whenever you go to church?? You are a bunch of sheep, following whatever leader you find yourself behind, believing whatever they tell you to believe. The world scares you so much that you can't possibly think for yourselves. The Crusades were started by people like you. You are a disgrace to mankind.To the Undecided
How could you be such idiots? Don't you know that this is total war? But I can tell right now that you are secretly working for our enemies. Your "honest" questions are sooo transparent...but I'll humor you until you reveal where your true loyalty lies. Don't expect me to be merciful then.There. That sums up the debate better than the famous "List-o-links." If I have omitted anyone, I truly am sorry. It was my intention to offend everyone who gets into these CREVO arguments, including myself. Please feel free to write the stereotypical attack on, or even better by your camp and add it to the list.
Having done my good deed for the day, I will now retire to kinder, gentler threads. And no, I won't let the door hit me in the gluteus maximus on my way out.
And if you think this is bad, you should see me when I actually get sucked in to a CREVO argument. That's when I really get cranky.
Bravo! Bravo!
You also discount the theory that the Universe was created as part of the struggle between the Immortal Cthulhu versus the Elder Gods. You see, Cthulhu needed the human race as a source of tasty snacks between battles and ...
I'm looking for more options, myself.
Junior is hereby pinged to add this to his famous List.