[PatrickHenry]

These crop circles would definitely be of an alien origin if, in the locations where they appear, there were simultaneous reports of abductions and anal probes. Everyone knows that aliens always abduct inconsequential people perform anal probes upon them. Crop circles alone, without unmistakably convincing alien conduct, are just hoaxes by college students.

[Physicist]

Everyone knows that aliens always abduct inconsequential people perform anal probes upon them.

I'm reminded of an old "Kids in the Hall" routine. As a group of aliens is about to examine an abductee, one of them questions the necessity for the anal probe. In 50 years of conducting such experiments, they'd only learned that 10% of the abductees enjoy it.

[VadeRetro]

Everyone knows that aliens always abduct inconsequential people perform anal probes upon them.

I'm trying to think why I've been skipped so far. Perhaps because I've already had three colonoscopies? Could the doctor who did my last one be an alien? His name sounds kind of funny.