Troubled by Being Short?

internet ^ | July 11 2002

[3catsanadog]

There was a commercial on the radio last year for a product to increase hair growth and the term used was folically (sp?) challenged.

[PJ-Comix]

Someone should send this to Sheriff Ken Jenne of Broward County, FL. He is only 5 feet tall and if he added on a few inches that might cure his Napoleonic Complexes. Most recently Sheriff Ken-Ken had all traffic halted near the very busy Air & Sea show so his personal limo could glide down the streets, unobstructed by all the traffic. He actually had cops stationed at all intersections to make sure his limo passed without interference as if he was a reigning Emperor.

Oh, and after Sheriff Ken-Ken adds on those inches, someone will have to send him something to grow hair on his bald head.

[beowolf]

Short People


Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
`Round here

Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

Randy Newman

[Interesting Times]

Short People

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason to live.
They got little hands,
Little eyes,
They walk around tellin' great big lies.

They got little noses,
Tiny little teeth,
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet.

Well I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people 'round here.

(Short people are just the same as you and I.)
A fool such as I. (All men are brothers until the day they die.)
It's a wonderful world.

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody to love

They got little baby legs
They stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello.

They got little cars
That go beep beep beep.
They got little voices
Goin' peep peep peep.

They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds.
They're gonna get you
Every time.

Well I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people 'round here.

-- Randy Newman

[TBall]

Short people are what is wrong with this country. We should tax them more.

[Interesting Times]

Aiiieee!

[beowolf]

Beat ya by a full 4 minutes!-)

[exnavy]

Gotta luv that lib PC speak!!!!

[headsonpikes]

"I thought this was a thread about the stock market."

I thought this thread was about Osama...;^)

[TADSLOS]

"Some of us like the way we are."

[Billthedrill]

As a person of shortitude I feel that this is a particularly puerile, immature thread, and it is incumbent on me to bring a certain balance and stability to a thread that could too easily spin out of control.

You tall bastards are toast. When the revolution comes I'm gonna be out there with a circular saw and YOU'RE ALL GONNA BE 5'6"!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Melas]

It must suck to be short. Tall rules! &;-)

Lol. If you could see me slow dance with my wife (I'm five foot one, and she's six feet) you'd see the obvious advantages of being short. :>

[Melas]

You tall bastards are toast. When the revolution comes I'm gonna be out there with a circular saw and YOU'RE ALL GONNA BE 5'6"!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Just when I was about to get giddy knowing that you were going to make everyone short, I realized that when the famine comes, all us skinny people are gonna die.

[Terriergal]

Oh geez and I was thinking this was going to be one of those "Longitude" ads...

[StoneColdGOP]

some of the most rotten pieces of disfunctional humanity that I have met were short

Of course, all those years of ridicule and teasing in school, then the unspoken discrimination in the years after that, what do you expect?

[HairOfTheDog]

Is this thinly-veiled Oompa Loompa bashing thread?

Oompa Loompa Song #1
Oompa Loompa Song #2
Oompa Loompa Song #3
Oompa Loompa Song #4

[StoneColdGOP]

The stature of a man is measured by the strength of his character, not his height

Blah blah blah, tell that to the guys who can't get any dates or were always the last to be picked for teams in school.

[BibChr]

Just STOP it!

[HairOfTheDog]

Ya know Dan.... I almost pinged you... then I thought...

"Naw... that'd be mean!"

Glad you found it!

[Billthedrill]

In my case it wasn't the ridicule or the discrimination, I just enjoy hating tall people.