The 'right thing' tears at a family

Trever Palmer, 17, says he felt nervous and slightly heroic the night he picked up the phone, dialed 911 and informed the King County Sheriff's Office that his father was growing marijuana.

Minutes later, when Aaron Palmer, a Covington computer programmer, returned home from an evening of swimming laps at the local pool, deputies arrested him. They later found more than a dozen marijuana plants growing in a hidden room in the garage and booked the single father of three into the King County Jail on drug charges.

Two months later, as Trever Palmer prepares for his last year of high school, the 140-pound wrestler is still grappling with the consequences of his actions and talked about them in an interview yesterday.

Although police lauded him for doing the right thing, he says half his relatives are mad at him. He's "found out who my friends really are" while trying to avoid Kentwood High School classmates who scorned him, calling him "a weasel" and names much worse than that.

Palmer made the 911 call largely because of a lesson he learned in a Junior ROTC ethics course: "Stand up for what you believe in, don't follow the crowd and be your own person."

"I felt like I was saving my sister and brother from this guy," he said. "You can only put up with so much."

But his family is torn apart, and his 15-year-old sister may not see the 911 call as such a brave act.

The night her father was taken away, "she really didn't speak much to me," Palmer said. "She was crying and trying to get her stuff together."

Palmer, who is spending part of the summer with his grandparents in Pennsylvania, plans to live with his best friend's family until he graduates and joins the Air Force. His sister and brother are staying with a cousin. Their mother, who is divorced from their father, is unemployed and "doesn't have room for them in her apartment," Palmer said.

Palmer's sister could not be reached last night, and Palmer's father did not return phone calls. Aaron Palmer, 38, was released on $5,000 bail shortly after his arrest and pleaded not guilty last week to a felony charge of drug manufacturing, the South County Journal reported. He faces up to five years in prison.

The boy said many of his relatives can't comprehend his motives for calling police.

"It sucks," Palmer said last night. "I was really hoping that they would understand. It's kind of like that hole in (me) that needs to be filled."

He has tried to explain himself to his father's parents, who "kind of understand, but they are upset."

When he called police, he said, he wasn't considering what would happen to his family. "I kind of figured that would fall into place."

He thought marijuana growing was taking over his father's life. Instead of spending time doing things with the family, his father tended to his plants -- moving the pots around and watering. He said that on two occasions, people visited the house on account of the marijuana.

Living around drugs is "the part that no kid should have to go through, and I didn't want (my younger brother) to go through it."

There were other conflicts. He thought his father paid attention to his sister's accomplishments, while ignoring his own. And he thought his ROTC courses, which were based on Marine Corps leadership training, put him at odds with his ex-Army father "on different military perspectives."

"That set it straight, why I should do it," Palmer said. "For one thing, it's illegal."

He said another factor was the emotions stirred by reading "The Red Badge of Courage" for an English class. He said he was impressed by how a character in the book, a soldier named Nick, discovered his own bravery.

Guess you didn't read the story. He turned in his father because he wanted to get even with him.

But I can see why you didn't get that far into the story because ever since your girlfriend (who was getting creamed here) called you over to help her you have made machine gun posts. All of them thoughtless and moronic.

Actually....I DID read the story, several times. I did not read ANYWHERE in the story that Trevor did it because he wanted to get even!! Were you reading between the lines? Lines written by a reporter?? Or direct quotes??? Hmmm. I guess my reading comprehension is different than yours.

My "machine gun posts" are merely a result of my reading and responding as I was reading the thread. So it is my fault that no one else was posting during that time of the night? Unlike some here, I do not have the luxury of sitting on FR all day and all night to argue and do battle. I have more to do in a day than that, and a young family that needs me. Sorry I couldn't babysit your attacks.

If someone is incessantly beating up on others and doing so in personal attacks.....of course I will jump in. You have been beating up verbally not only on trussell, but on a few others here. Heaven help anyone that would confess anything bad they did in their life, in your presence. You would simply pummel them to death with your words!!! There is a difference between arguing and discussing an article and personally slamming and cutting down people who are a part of that discussion. You seem to be developing it into an art. This, sadly, is far from debate!!

If my posts were thoughtless, I would be making personal attacks. Or my posts would make absolutely no sense to anyone, being basically jibberish! If I were moronic, I would be mentally retarded (care to get the dictionary out for the definition).....I do not believe that my posts are those of someone who is mentally retarded, either.... If this were so, would I have a degree? Or be able to do the many things I have done already in my life? I think not. .....an aside here, GOD blesses famlies with children who are "special" (as my grandmother used to refer to them), so stop trying to use it as an insult!

Unfortunately, a huge portion of your posts here are dishonoring to the FReeper name you bear. Complaints have been put in. But, I am sure that many here can see for themselves. I feel badly for you that whatever you may have gone through in your lifetime has hurt you so much that you feel you have to lash out and hurt others without thought. You have no clue what kinds of lives these people have had, or what they have gone through. Your attacks on them could be splintering a resolve and self-esteem that took them years to rebuild.

I know trussell, and applaud her for being able to stand her ground and hold tight to her beliefs and views after the awful stuff she has had to live through. Take a break TJ, and get a glass of orange juice!! Count your blessings this morning, and try for a more reasonable posting style.

Forgive me for being a slow reader and not unable to babysit this thread. I will address what I can, as time allows. My kids need breakfast, and I have to run off to work! Have a God blessed day, all!

In response to your posts of #82 and #97........

Be careful of your criticisms of foster homes! There are many times where it is a temporary home until the children can be placed back in the home. There are parents who do not make the changes required in order to have the children returned, and in most of those cases, the children are better off in the foster home than back in their own home. I know your beef is with the government getting too involved in people's lives. But I have been a foster parent, and I have seen the system work for good. Just as in every type of business, there are the bad guys giving it a bad name, it happens in foster care as well. But don't generalize and kill the program because of a few bad apples!

I disagree that the children would have been better off left in the home as it was. Have you been on the receiving end of someone who uses pot? The teen didn't want his youngest brother to grow up in that kind of a home. There was more behind his words than were printed.

Also be careful of the reporter trying to paint the father as an athletic, high class business man. I would suspect the reporter to be sympathetic to the father, from the journalism I have studied.

The scripture tells us to respect those in authority over us in I Peter 2:13-16 "Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king , as supreme; or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: as free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as servants of God. "

The father was not raising his children to be respectful of the authority (law) placed over them. Anyone, in expecting the teenager to ignore or go along with the father's activities, is saying that the father and anyone else doing wrong is not responsible or accountable for their actions. So what kind of morality are we then teaching our youth? Disrespect for those in authority, as well as their not being responsible or accountable for their actions! Then we wonder what is wrong with our society today??

Interesting implications in #113 that because pot is illegal we are living in a police state! I don't think it has gotten that bad on account of pot being illegal. It is a good question that everyone needs to ask themselves....how far are we willing to go, or let it go, before we say the government has too much power and too much control? I think that when it comes to taking away my religious liberty I will take a stand. The issue of guns is not the same as the issue of pot, though I understand your feeling that if one is granted the other may not be far off.

I have seen what can happen to a positive, punctual, neat, responsible, dependable, honest, hard-working person when he got involved with pot. It turned him into the total opposite in less than a year's time. I realize it was also his responsiblity for his making that choice, but there isn't anyone who can tell me it is a totally harmless drug. It ruined a man, and what could have been a terrific career. I do not need statitics or studies....I saw it firsthand destroy a brilliiant man! What more proof would I need? None!

this is just sickening. there are few things lower than a snitch. This kid, ratted out a member his family to big brother, He's earned every bit of the scorn, ridicule and beatings that are no doubt coming his way. At the age of 17, if he didn't like what was going on he could have damned well moved the hell out.

I think you missed the part about his concern for his siblings. Sure, he could have moved out, but that would have left his siblings still in the household, still living with the situation.

I find it hard to fathom that a teenager who did what was morally and legally right should be the target of such statements as yours. So you would beat the youth because he turned someone in to the authorities for something that is illegal? Is your fury at the fact that you want pot to be legal? Or is it at the fact that you think the government has too much power? And this would justify beating a responsible teenager???!!! I am mystified by your logic, or lack thereof!! Beat the kid cuz I don't agree with the law or the government! Certainly seems the right thing to do, to me! /Sarcasm!

post #146---

check my post above..... I really doubt it had anything to do with revenge. If he had wanted revenge, I think it would have been done much differently. I believe the media/reporter has swayed you to this thought. Believe it or not, there are teenagers out there that are very concerned about their siblings, and what is happening to them, especially if they are the oldest/first born. It doesn't matter how many times someone came to the house, the fact is they did. That means that the pot was not being grown, or used without the children knowing. THAT is itself is irresponsible, and disrepectful on the father's part! It isn't stabbing anyone in the back if they know they are doing something against the law, and they are turned in. The father KNEW it was against the law!! He KNEW he was breaking the law! There is a consequence for that kind of behavior, right?

I know lots of cannabis smokers, and have know many more over the years, and have not seen one with the effects you describe. Perhaps we are practicing correlation instead of causation, hum?

You don't know anything at all about cannabis, do you? If I were given to guesses, I'd guess that you were told inaccurate information by authority figures, just as ignorant themselves, and you believed without researching their sources.

After such conditioning, it's simple to assume that the failure of a man who smokes cannabis is because of the cannabis. The flaw in that pseudo-reasoning, of course, is that, when faced with others that smoke the plant and succeed in life, the pseudo-reasoning collapses making the proponent thereof look mildly foolish.

So, I hang out with losers, eh? Maybe I should inform my friends here, so they can free themselves of any stigma association with me may give them!!

Losers because they use pot? Careful how you say what you mean!

ROFLMBO So....the critic of my social life has appeared!!?? LOL I know people from a variety of walks of life. I have not disassociated myself with someone because of their having a different lifestyle. I believe Christ's walk shows one should hate the sin and love the sinner....show agape love to all around me. That is what I try very hard to do. Being human I am not always successful, but I give it my best shot! ;-) The people that I know range from a homeless man who spends time in the Antiquarium, to teens, foreign exchange students, spirit-filled brothers and sisters in the Lord, those involved in politics, artists, those in the teaching profession, homeschoolers, and I could go on. You make it sound like rif-raf! LOL Did I misunderstand?

Oh! Silly me! Were you meaning that the people I know who use pot are losers?

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