The 'right thing' tears at a family

Seattle Post-Intelligencer ^ | July 8, 2002 | Chris McGann

[Alan Chapman]

Trever Palmer, 17, says he felt nervous and slightly heroic the night he picked up the phone, dialed 911 and informed the King County Sheriff's Office that his father was growing marijuana.

Minutes later, when Aaron Palmer, a Covington computer programmer, returned home from an evening of swimming laps at the local pool, deputies arrested him. They later found more than a dozen marijuana plants growing in a hidden room in the garage and booked the single father of three into the King County Jail on drug charges.

Two months later, as Trever Palmer prepares for his last year of high school, the 140-pound wrestler is still grappling with the consequences of his actions and talked about them in an interview yesterday.

Although police lauded him for doing the right thing, he says half his relatives are mad at him. He's "found out who my friends really are" while trying to avoid Kentwood High School classmates who scorned him, calling him "a weasel" and names much worse than that.

Palmer made the 911 call largely because of a lesson he learned in a Junior ROTC ethics course: "Stand up for what you believe in, don't follow the crowd and be your own person."

He still thinks he did the right thing.

"I felt like I was saving my sister and brother from this guy," he said. "You can only put up with so much."

But his family is torn apart, and his 15-year-old sister may not see the 911 call as such a brave act.

The night her father was taken away, "she really didn't speak much to me," Palmer said. "She was crying and trying to get her stuff together."

Today, she "just kind of avoids me," he said.

Palmer said his 7-year-old brother didn't know what was going on.

Palmer, who is spending part of the summer with his grandparents in Pennsylvania, plans to live with his best friend's family until he graduates and joins the Air Force. His sister and brother are staying with a cousin. Their mother, who is divorced from their father, is unemployed and "doesn't have room for them in her apartment," Palmer said.

Palmer's sister could not be reached last night, and Palmer's father did not return phone calls. Aaron Palmer, 38, was released on $5,000 bail shortly after his arrest and pleaded not guilty last week to a felony charge of drug manufacturing, the South County Journal reported. He faces up to five years in prison.

The boy said many of his relatives can't comprehend his motives for calling police.

"It sucks," Palmer said last night. "I was really hoping that they would understand. It's kind of like that hole in (me) that needs to be filled."

He has tried to explain himself to his father's parents, who "kind of understand, but they are upset."

When he called police, he said, he wasn't considering what would happen to his family. "I kind of figured that would fall into place."

What went through his mind?

"I thought: no guts, no glory," he said.

He thought marijuana growing was taking over his father's life. Instead of spending time doing things with the family, his father tended to his plants -- moving the pots around and watering. He said that on two occasions, people visited the house on account of the marijuana.

Living around drugs is "the part that no kid should have to go through, and I didn't want (my younger brother) to go through it."

There were other conflicts. He thought his father paid attention to his sister's accomplishments, while ignoring his own. And he thought his ROTC courses, which were based on Marine Corps leadership training, put him at odds with his ex-Army father "on different military perspectives."

The "stand-up" message from his ROTC course echoed in his head.

"That set it straight, why I should do it," Palmer said. "For one thing, it's illegal."

He said another factor was the emotions stirred by reading "The Red Badge of Courage" for an English class. He said he was impressed by how a character in the book, a soldier named Nick, discovered his own bravery.

"He stood up for what he believed in," Palmer said.

[John O]

imperfect parents who love their kids are far better people to have in control of the kids than foster homes;

Apparently this guy's son believed from the evidence that his father loved his pot more than he loved his kids.

GSA(P)

[Red Jones]

and so children should be judges of their parents?

[KantianBurke]

I would attempt to raise him / her to respect the law regardless of the prevailing opinions ascertaining their relavence or utility.

[SubMareener]

Your state outlaws all firearms. Will you be the first to turn yours in? You have a business and your municipality passes an ordinance that you must give homosexuals preference in hiring. Will you hire the homosexuals only? Do you exceed the speed limit? That's a criminal offense, you know.

Where would you draw the line?

I would at least draw the line at not putting my children in the position of even having to consider turning me in for some illegal activity. How is that for starters?

[John O]

and so children should be judges of their parents?

Children are always witnesses of their parents. If the parents do wrong the children testify against them by also doing wrong. If the parents do right the children testify for them by doing right. Sometimes, when the parent refuses to act like a parent, the child must also be the judge and call someone else in to enforce good behavior.

If the father was breaking the law, as he was, and refused to stop his behavior, as most pot heads would, the child had no recourse but to turn him in. If the father didn't want his son to do the right thing he should have hid his illegal behavior from his kids. He didn't. Therefore the son had to turn him in.

This kid is an American. He acted like a true patriot.

GSA(P)

[trussell]

Although trying and growing are two separate issues, yes, I would personally take my child to the police station and have the police speak with the child about the dangers of such behavior.

There is also a difference between a child (with limited knowledge) and a parent (who is suppose to be a role model for their children).

Futhermore, Beer and Cigarettes are legal as long as the parents approve and buy them for the child, which I would not do.

and, beer and cigarettes are only illegal for people under a certain age, where "POT" is illegal, PERIOD!

[Protagoras]

The question was ducked by you. It was: would you turn your kids into the police for drinking beer behind the garage? Having a pot seed in their pocket? Smoking cigarettes?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Protagoras]

Although trying and growing are two separate issues, yes, I would personally take my child to the police station and have the police speak with the child about the dangers of such behavior.

Sorry, that isn't an option. "Talking" to your child isn't in the law. Prison is a possibility. Still taking him?

Futhermore, Beer and Cigarettes are legal as long as the parents approve and buy them for the child, which I would not do.

Bzzzzzt. Wrong. Put on your dunce cap. Giving your child banned substances is illegal and you could even lose your parental rights.

and, beer and cigarettes are only illegal for people under a certain age, where "POT" is illegal, PERIOD!

The law is the law. You owe it to your child to have them spend a few years with a new boyfriend,,,named Bruno.

[Protagoras]

Bizzarro world update,,,,,,This kid is an American. He acted like a true patriot.

[Dimensio]

Yep. Murder and improper lane usage are also on par -- both are criminal behaviour and they should be treated as such.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

There's more to this story than meets the eye.

Bingo. Just the fact that this kid chooses to refer to his father as "this guy" indicates that there is more here than the reporter opted to share.

[KantianBurke]

Why should one's first reaction be to involve the police? If my child is engaging in an illegal activity such as underage drinknig or smoking I would initially attempt to smack some sense into him / her. If not then I would be failing in my parental responsibilities and / or the child is acting in an incorrigeble manner if one did anything less than administer some tough love through the police. The costs would outweigh any sort of counter incentives. The child might get involved in more violent but no less illegal activities by my abdication.

[William Terrell]

I would at least draw the line at not putting my children in the position of even having to consider turning me in for some illegal activity. How is that for starters?

This boy had to consider turning his father in? An implanted brain chip, maybe? But the question I had for you, you being of the opinion that against is the law means, ipso facto, the law is right and must be followed, is at what point can it get to where you judge the law is not right and you stand up to it?

The point is that, if there is such a line, how can you judge that it has not already been passed and you are simply not diligent in standing against tyranny, or, if there is no such line, are you willing to live in a police state?

[trussell]

Futhermore, Beer and Cigarettes are legal as long as the parents approve and buy them for the child, which I would not do.

Bzzzzzt. Wrong. Put on your dunce cap. Giving your child banned substances is illegal and you could even lose your parental rights.

I thought so too, except, I was working in a Pizza restaraunt a few years back. A group with 2 adults, and 2 children (around 3 and 5 YO) came in and ordered beer. They asked for 4 glasses. I went to my boss and said I could not give the group 4 glasses because 2 of them were children. My boss told me that if the parents choose to give the children beer, state law says that is ok.

I chose to make my boss serve them because I would not serve alcohol to minor children.

[tomakaze]

RE:I can see it now. Children calling the cops because they found an illegal gun in daddy's closet.
 
this is just sickening.
there are few things lower than a snitch.
This kid, ratted out a member his family to big brother, He's earned every bit of the scorn, ridicule and beatings that are no doubt coming his way.
At the age of 17, if he didn't like what was going on he could have damned well moved the hell out.

[Protagoras]

Why should one's first reaction be to involve the police?

Take off your dunce cap, go sit in the first row. You might be getting this after all.

If my child is engaging in an illegal activity such as underage drinknig or smoking I would initially attempt to smack some sense into him / her.

OH MY! Child abuse!!!

If not then I would be failing in my parental responsibilities and / or the child is acting in an incorrigeble manner if one did anything less than administer some tough love through the police.

OOPS, back sliding. Tough love? A few years in the pen for illegal drugs? That will teach them! Good for you! You owe it to your children to put them in the hands of the government. Good going, I'm proud of you.

I hope your mother didn't forget to turn in her mother for using booze during the first prohibition. She owed it to her.

[Protagoras]

My boss told me that if the parents choose to give the children beer, state law says that is ok.

Your boss was wrong. He doesn't make state law.

[tomakaze]

RE:All in all, this kid is a product of a system that promotes self rightousness over honor, self over family, and the right to have gay kinky sex than the right of an adult to grow plants that the "government" has decided are "bad" for you.
Considering this kid's comment, "I thought: no guts, no glory," it also appears that this kid was seeking notoriety and thought that he'd score some points with "the government", thinking that will help him get a quick promotion if he were to join the Marines.
 
keen observations
 
What a good little Nazi
 
That about sums it up.

[NC_Libertarian]

I would attempt to raise him / her to respect the law regardless of the prevailing opinions ascertaining their relavence or utility.

It's sad how many people view the LAW as GOD. There is a reason communists advocate athiesm.

I do not respect the law because it is immoral. Abortion is legal. Growing pot is illegal. Should a moral person respect that?

[proud to be breathing]

My brother in law was a cop in the 80's, and on occasion when visiting them in CA., I'd go to the cop hangout bar with him. There was alot of drinking, and then these guys got in their cars, and I assume drove themselves home. I think it was piasa who is sure that the woman who made a copy of Steel Magnolias is surely on her way to purgatory. No doubt all those cops are too. I wonder if everytime junior downloads another song off the web, daddy and mommy should turn him in for copyright infraction.