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The 'right thing' tears at a family
Seattle Post-Intelligencer ^ | July 8, 2002 | Chris McGann

Posted on 07/09/2002 12:48:48 AM PDT by Alan Chapman

Trever Palmer, 17, says he felt nervous and slightly heroic the night he picked up the phone, dialed 911 and informed the King County Sheriff's Office that his father was growing marijuana.

Minutes later, when Aaron Palmer, a Covington computer programmer, returned home from an evening of swimming laps at the local pool, deputies arrested him. They later found more than a dozen marijuana plants growing in a hidden room in the garage and booked the single father of three into the King County Jail on drug charges.

Two months later, as Trever Palmer prepares for his last year of high school, the 140-pound wrestler is still grappling with the consequences of his actions and talked about them in an interview yesterday.

Although police lauded him for doing the right thing, he says half his relatives are mad at him. He's "found out who my friends really are" while trying to avoid Kentwood High School classmates who scorned him, calling him "a weasel" and names much worse than that.

Palmer made the 911 call largely because of a lesson he learned in a Junior ROTC ethics course: "Stand up for what you believe in, don't follow the crowd and be your own person."

He still thinks he did the right thing.

"I felt like I was saving my sister and brother from this guy," he said. "You can only put up with so much."

But his family is torn apart, and his 15-year-old sister may not see the 911 call as such a brave act.

The night her father was taken away, "she really didn't speak much to me," Palmer said. "She was crying and trying to get her stuff together."

Today, she "just kind of avoids me," he said.

Palmer said his 7-year-old brother didn't know what was going on.

Palmer, who is spending part of the summer with his grandparents in Pennsylvania, plans to live with his best friend's family until he graduates and joins the Air Force. His sister and brother are staying with a cousin. Their mother, who is divorced from their father, is unemployed and "doesn't have room for them in her apartment," Palmer said.

Palmer's sister could not be reached last night, and Palmer's father did not return phone calls. Aaron Palmer, 38, was released on $5,000 bail shortly after his arrest and pleaded not guilty last week to a felony charge of drug manufacturing, the South County Journal reported. He faces up to five years in prison.

The boy said many of his relatives can't comprehend his motives for calling police.

"It sucks," Palmer said last night. "I was really hoping that they would understand. It's kind of like that hole in (me) that needs to be filled."

He has tried to explain himself to his father's parents, who "kind of understand, but they are upset."

When he called police, he said, he wasn't considering what would happen to his family. "I kind of figured that would fall into place."

What went through his mind?

"I thought: no guts, no glory," he said.

He thought marijuana growing was taking over his father's life. Instead of spending time doing things with the family, his father tended to his plants -- moving the pots around and watering. He said that on two occasions, people visited the house on account of the marijuana.

Living around drugs is "the part that no kid should have to go through, and I didn't want (my younger brother) to go through it."

There were other conflicts. He thought his father paid attention to his sister's accomplishments, while ignoring his own. And he thought his ROTC courses, which were based on Marine Corps leadership training, put him at odds with his ex-Army father "on different military perspectives."

The "stand-up" message from his ROTC course echoed in his head.

"That set it straight, why I should do it," Palmer said. "For one thing, it's illegal."

He said another factor was the emotions stirred by reading "The Red Badge of Courage" for an English class. He said he was impressed by how a character in the book, a soldier named Nick, discovered his own bravery.

"He stood up for what he believed in," Palmer said.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Government; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: libertarians; wodlist
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Comment #281 Removed by Moderator

To: Texas Mom; All
"How do you know what he DIDN'T do? Maybe he did try and talk to dad and dad said, "This is my house, I'll do what I want." No one has any idea what this kid did or didn't do and for how long this has been going on."

What makes you think he DID say this to his Dad? You're right........we don't know. However, nothing whatsoever was said by the kid (quoted extensively, by the way, in the piece.........thumping his little chest over his "character") about, oh, say, exercising "his final option" or anything remotely like that.

No ma'am.........this kid had his dad arrested and probably consigned to the State Pen for a number of years because he was too COWARDLY to do just that.

I'll bet money on it.

I'll reiterate my previous point: family is FAMILY, and short of murder or incest within said family, you do NOT turn your family in to the Man for otherwise (in the grand scheme of things) trivial offenses.

I've seen far too many here rant about the horrors of pot. Bulls**t, pardon my French. Let this father of seven.........count 'em..............(and who lives in a rather hoity-toity area) regale you all with tales of FAR worse abuse, witnessed on a DAILY basis, that are totally accepted: wealthy parents buying their kids $50,000 vehicles on their sixteenth birthday to assuage their guilt over spending ZERO time with them because both parents are out chasing the Yankee Buck.......letting their daughters dress like street-walkers............supporting the elimination of any mention of the Bible or Biblical principles in schools, and then wondering why little Johnnie or Suzie is a drop out at 15 or pregnant or on drugs or under arrest ("We make so much money, have so many fine things; we've given him/her/them EVERYthing.......where did we go so wrong????")............

Get the idea? And I'm just getting warmed up. Pot? Trivial in comparison (how many of YOU or your parents got snockered several times a week on Jack Daniels?)................

282 posted on 07/10/2002 12:55:05 PM PDT by RightOnline
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Comment #283 Removed by Moderator

To: stands2reason
You only belittle yourself.

I belittle you and all those who either deal drugs or advocate turning on their families.

I've managed to change my opinion about a number of issues on this forum, but the skill and persuasive powers of the Libertarians leave a lot to be desired.

Your opinion is irrelevant. You are a criminal. You have nothing to say about the drug war as long as you haven't paid the price you advocate for other criminals who have done precisely as you have done. You have no standing.

I'd like to see you try to answer this argument without resorting to personal attacks, but are you capable?

What argument?

284 posted on 07/10/2002 1:00:48 PM PDT by Protagoras
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To: ThomasJefferson
You accused me of calling you names in post #210. Are you precognitive?

Post 210 *Are you capable of posting something without it containing the word "despicable", or calling people by some other demeaning name?

I did not accuse you of calling me names, I accused you of calling people by some other demeaning name.

And you get mad at everyone else if we do not state exact facts and statements. Talk about being hypocritical.

285 posted on 07/10/2002 3:19:43 PM PDT by trussell
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To: ~EagleNebula~
PING
286 posted on 07/10/2002 4:03:04 PM PDT by trussell
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To: per loin
As noble a youth as the young Afghani, turning his mother in to the taliban for secretly having a tube of lipstick in the house.

This is hardly the same thing!

287 posted on 07/10/2002 9:11:53 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: Grim
I think it is interesting to read you calling a 17 yr old, law abiding citizen a "rat". How are you bringing up your children? Do you want them to be law abiding citizens??

The young man never got into what the home life was like....What kind of a "home life" do you imagine he had? It certainly wasn't like the Cleaver household!!

He did what was right, and you are spitting on him with your words!?? Amazing! There are many teens these days that don't frankly give a D*** about anyone or anything. Here is one who cares!

From what you wrote, it makes me wonder if maybe you are angry and defensive for some reason?? Hmmm? Interesting take!!

288 posted on 07/10/2002 9:19:18 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: goldstategop
Post 16 ROFLMBO

So the right thing has turned into a sibling rivalry? LOL

289 posted on 07/10/2002 9:22:47 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: pubmom
"sad story. everybody loses"

I don't understand some of you people.....anyone know what it is like to live in a household of drug users? growers? Is it possible this teen was thinking about how much longer his younger siblings would have to live in this environment, and how it could progressively get worse?? Everybody WAS losing, now maybe some of them will have a chance? YES? NO?

Or am I wearing rose colored glasses???? Last I checked, they weren't.

290 posted on 07/10/2002 9:27:57 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: ponyespresso
Hey, maybe the dad was the "dumbshit" for growing illegal drugs in the first place? Did the dad ever think that there might be ramifacations to his actions?

Ah! Do we teach our youth about accountability and responsibility and respect? BINGO! Dad is RESPONSIBLE for his actions!!! Dad is being held ACCOUNTABLE!!! The son showed RESPECT for the law.

291 posted on 07/10/2002 9:31:36 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: Greybird
And this "heroic" lad differs from the mid-1930s German kids who were urged to turn their parents in to the Gestapo for being critical of Hitler at the dinner table ... exactly how?

This is truly a disproportionate statement. Get real!! Do you then find a nazi under every rock?

292 posted on 07/10/2002 9:36:49 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: piasa
BRAVO! for post #35
293 posted on 07/10/2002 9:40:14 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: Alan Chapman
I really couldn't care less what most of you think. I don't use popularity as a means to determine which positions to take.

Good... glad to hear it.

294 posted on 07/10/2002 9:41:36 PM PDT by Texas Mom
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To: thmiley
I can't understand how this kid didn't see it coming. He's doomed his father to misery and poverty. He's opened his father's assets to seizure (theft) by the state. Of course his relatives hate him. If a relative of mine turned in her father for mere drug crimes, that person would be on the outside of the family, looking in with her nose pressed up against the glass!

Honestly! I cannot understand this mindset in the least!! The father is RESPONSIBLE for his actions, and being held ACCOUNTABLE!!! No wonder we have teens and young adults who think they can do anything they want, where and when, with no respect to other people, their property, or the law!!! If there are "adults" with this kind of mindset quoted here, I shouldn't wonder that I am daily encountering teens and young adults with this kind of thought pattern and mindset as well!

Just don't blame it on the schools! If this is the mindset you raised your kids with, ask yourself what propogated vandalism, thievery, etc. Murder? What is that but a disrespect for another's life? See my point???

295 posted on 07/10/2002 9:56:48 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: Alan Chapman
"SOILENT GREEN IS PEOPLE"
296 posted on 07/10/2002 10:00:31 PM PDT by ATOMIC_PUNK
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To: chance33_98
Then you start a reveloution, kill all the people in power, and create a new perfect order where everyone gets high :)

Now, why didn't someone think of that before??? /sarcasm

297 posted on 07/10/2002 10:07:55 PM PDT by ~EagleNebula~
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To: ~EagleNebula~
Sometimes it's unwise to ask others such pointed personal questions on a public forum, the answer may not be one you'd expect.

I have no idea what this young man and his family have endured. Reporting dad for his illegal growing habit should have included at least an outline or a plan for what would happen next. Was there no one else he could turn to for help? Could he have not tried some type of intervention program? There are several other ways he could have gotten help for his dad. I'm curious why he chose this course of action, it is the most drastic step he could have taken. Hauling dad off to the concrete hotel should have been the last resort. I agree that if he was openly dealing and using in front of the children, the young man was justified.

I sincerely hope things turn out best for all concerned, including the father.

298 posted on 07/10/2002 10:23:09 PM PDT by pubmom
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To: ~EagleNebula~
And I hope you understood mine was sarcastic as well :)
299 posted on 07/10/2002 10:32:22 PM PDT by chance33_98
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To: ~EagleNebula~; Alan Chapman; JediGirl; HiTech RedNeck; pubmom; All
Detectives Find Children In Dirty Crack House (2 yr old and 8 mo old and 6 foot snake running loose)

Wish these kids were old enough to turn the folks in :)
300 posted on 07/10/2002 10:55:56 PM PDT by chance33_98
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