I'm not for 'beating' a child - but there are times when the only remedy is warm up the seat of the peoblem...
. . or. . as my Wife would say "The Quickest to The Brain of a Child, is Through Their Backside".
Her argument falls completely apart here. Why didn't Sterling Rome (great name) confront the mother, point out the sauce on his/her pants, and ask that the mother pay for the cleaning. Instead, she/he did exactly as the mother did - she/he simply stood, stared, and said nothing.
The good news is that liberalism is ultimately self-destructive. The bad news is all that damage liberalism does before the collapse.
When that no longer stops them when they are about to get into potentially dangerous or very disruptive behavior, after the first "no!" you get up off your duff and physically remove the infant from wheresoever s/he has gotten into. No coo-cooing or laughing; stonefaced, non-positive re-direction.
When in the course of the next several months (baby now 14-18 months old) there is continuing problems/danger after you go through the drill, a sharp, stinging rap on the back of the hand accompanied by a "No!" will do the following:
--it will gain enduring respect for your "No!"
--it will possibly save your child's life or limb because now you can stom him/her from danger with a word from across the room
--it will make you all a happier family
--it will prevent the kiddo from becoming a brat
--you will only need to smack their hand rarely and essentially never when they get beyond three.
Children who see their parents react to every negative thing they do assume the child can set the agenda. Ignoring the misbehavior allows the parent to communicate to the child that the parent is in control of the relationship and the parent will deal with the situation when the parent is ready to deal with it, not the child.
To some children, no attention is worse than negative attention. Ignoring Brian is its own form of punishment.
Secondly, the mother and child were in a public setting and it's not uncommon for some liberal do-gooder to report to CPS a woman using physical discipline against her child. She may have been restraining her anger until such time as she and Brian were out of sight. Once alone (home or possibly a bathroom stall) Brian will get "delayed justice".
Just because the author didn't get the satisfaction of seeing a swift slap to the butt doesn't mean it didn't eventually happen. And discipline, even delayed discipline, is needed for this sort of situation. Otherwise, you'll be raising little Bill Clintons and James Carvilles.
He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
-- Proverbs 13:24
Spanking is the mechanism through which a parent conveys to a child the message that society holds in reserve, a physical response that it is prepared to mete out for certain behaviors. All societies are prepared to apply force under certain conditions. Gershoff's recommendations are self-serving.
Thanks Dad...you got your point across very firmly.
FMCDH
My 4yo recently did something he shouldn't have in the store. After reprimanding him, I insisted he apoligise to the store employee who had to clean-up his mess. He was mortified (not always a bad thing). It took him almost a full 2 minutes to utter a quiet, scared, "I'm sorry.". The entire time the store employee (a mid-40yo woman) patiently stood and looked at him. He learned his lesson and has never come close to the offending behavior.
That said, sometimes ignoring a screaming child in the grocery store IS the best disclipline. For a child who craves control, spankings aren't a deterrent.
Having received nasty looks in the store for slapping one of my children's hand, spanking in public can be risky. I live in a small conservative community. I would never even consider it in a larger, more liberal city.
That's actually pretty convenient in a market or other public place. Leave the place, count to 10, and let somebody else kidnap your child. Great advice Gershoff!
The operartive word here is COULD. This women has never had any children, but has read a lot of books. When my first child turned one, my pediatrician told me that it was now time to set my daughter's limits. I needed to tell her no and I needed to reinforce that no at all times and spank if necessary.
My kids always know where they stand with me. I haven't had to spank them much. Seemed as though I could threaten a spanking as easily as to have given one. But, they learned that there are always consequences to bad behavior, and they didn't want to be on the brunt end of that deal.
There is nothing more sad than to see a kid who does not know what his boundaries are. Almost as sad is to see a parent who has had their rightful parenting stolen from them from the "hands are for loving" crowd.