Palestinian bomb cat picture shocks civilised world

The Rockall Times ^ | Kieren McCarthy

[Texaggie79]

Israel reveals evidence of menagerie of hate

by Kieren McCarthy

The civilised world recoiled in disgust as a horrifying photo of a Palestinian kitten dressed as a suicide bomber was released by Israel yesterday.

It is said to have been found at a militant's home in the West Bank city of Hebron and appears to be genuine. And it is a bleak new symbol of despair in the turmoil of the Middle East. The cat wears a belt of explosives and two bandoliers of bullets.

The Israeli army, which released the picture, says it was found during a search. There were suspicions that it might be part of Israel's propaganda war. But suicide animals are the new heroes of the Palestinian struggle for their own homeland.

The kitten's owners would have trained and brainwashed the feline freak to wear the red bandana and explosives — originally containing nothing more dangerous than sweetcorn — and then at a given moment, lick its genitals to set off the device. The kitten could have no idea of the consequences of its actions until it was too late.

Israeli troops report an increasing incidence of suicide animals, with cats the greatest feared of them all thanks to their agility and ability to climb walls. Just last week, three soldiers were killed when a cow with a hidden landmine in its udder rolled underneath an armoured personnel carrier. And on 10 June, nine were injured, including a man, when a seagull dive-bombed into a hotel foyer.

"It's getting worse," Israeli army lieutenant Archie Sighcoe told us. "Now we have to shoot all animals as well as women and children." Meanwhile, moderate president Ariel Sharon has called on Yasser Arafat to either destroy or reveal the whereabouts of Hamas' zoos and menageries — or pay the price.

[Nachum]

IMO, this photo is about as genuine as that of the toddler.

Or as genuine as Islamic peace.

[Tennessee_Bob]

So much for the old saying: "Big cats are dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone."

[ksen]

I hear they may also be training cats to drive car-bombs.

[Illbay]

What's funny to me is not so much the people who don't think about it being a joke, but who look past that to rant about the "pallies." I mean, good grief folks, turn it down a notch or too. You'll burn your brains out!

[Optimist]

As satire it would be rather humorous if it weren't for this line ...

"It's getting worse," Israeli army lieutenant Archie Sighcoe told us. "Now we have to shoot all animals as well as women and children."

... that I personally find VERY offensive. It would appear that the writer has an anti-Israel agenda rather than an anti-suicide bomber agenda. To first appearances the ridicule seems to be against the suicide programming of innocents. Closer reading instead indicates that the ridicule is against Israels intelligence gathering and evidenciary exhibits, and its attacks aginst the harborers of terrorists.

Way to go, you anti-semites.

[eaglewatch]

Perhaps the way to get back is to start boobytrapping goats?

[Tennessee_Bob]

You'll burn your brains out!

You're stretching that assumption a little far....

[Illbay]

My G*d, it's TOONCES!!!!!

[Windsong]

"not funny. not after the pictures of that toddler"

I agree. Tis not funny one bit.

[Illbay]

*nyuk!*

[Nachum]

What's not so hillarious to me are the people who would use this joke to take a shot at the credibility of Israel defending itself.

[isthisnickcool]

"I love my kitty!" Proclaimed Yasser Arafat.

[HoustonCurmudgeon]

Well, sad as it is, at least someone found a use for cats!

[Illbay]

Thanks, Nachum, you're a PERFECT foil for my comments!

How about a cat with a yarmulke and an automatic weapon, blowing the bomber-kitty to bits?

Would that make you feel better?

[freeforall]

A cat would get nine times the number a person would get.>Wahoo!

[=Intervention=]

You miss the point. Both the one-year-old child and the cat operate on instinct and wouldn't have to choose to set off the explosives. The explosives can be denotated by remote control or by attaching motion sensors or using timers, or by external switches (as in the dogs and German tank example). Think it impossible if you will. I'm sure the Germans had a good laugh too...until they discovered their tanks were mysteriously being blown up.

[Dog]

ROFLMAO!!!!

Good One!!!!!

[Nachum]

None of it is funny. It is just sad.

[billhilly]

I would think a dog would be better because of the triggering method........................ Or David Brock.

[Calvin Coolidge]

Hardly unprecedented to use animals to fight our wars in this way. The Soviets in 1941 used to attach anti-tank mines to the backs of dogs. The dogs were trained (by the home country of Pavlov) to run under moving vehicles expecting to be fed. This, of course, led to the Germans deciding to kill all dogs on sight. Why should horses be the only animals that get to share humanity's love of warfare?