Mark Steyn- Dust bin: Osama bin Laden is dead

The Spectator (U.K.) ^ | 06/29/2002 | Mark Steyn

[scholar]

I do think bin Laden is dead. I don't think he could remain quiet this long with the ego he has. The problem is, I could be wrong.

Well you know what they say about opinions FRiend. However, I totally agree--if bin Laden was still above ambient temperature, we would have heard a lot more from him than we have.

[6ppc]

He's in Iraq. Let's get him!

Works for me!

[Grig]

"while waiting for a doctor to be flown in to perform a kidney transplant."

Here's a plan, go to a arab nation and quietly let it be known that OBL needs a heart transplant, but a matching doner can't be found. Look for people willing to donate their own, then let them.

[astounded]

Wrong - the term would be "nationalization". We simply declare and assume ownership. Possession is 90% of the law.

[Guillermo]

That's pretty dangerous. After all, we're not Communists.

This would scare off a lot of foreign investment, and contray to what this forum believes, foreign investment IS NOT A BAD THING.

[Uncle George]

"Het Binny, look at that big airplane coming down toward us". Hey man that aint no airplane, thats a DAISY-CUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR--WOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. FINIS BINNY THE GREAT.

[john in missouri]

I do think bin Laden is dead. I don't think he could remain quiet this long with the ego he has. The problem is, I could be wrong.

I don't know whether he's alive or dead, but some of Steyn's insistent statements on it remind me of:

Customer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

[texson66]

Absolutely Dead!

[Demidog]

Exactly. Osama is the perfect bogey man and for decades will remain elusive while American military claim that they need to attack country after country in order to wipe out his "network."

The same thing can be seen wrt Arafat. Israel needs a foil and he's it. He'll never be ousted from power as long as Israel can use him to justify their actions.

[Alamo-Girl]

Thanks for the heads up!

I believe he has been dead for a very, very long time now.

To acknowledge his death would be to make him a martyr to the Islamic fundamentalists - so I doubt his remains will be found until we've won the war and demoralized them all.

[gcruse]

good lord...what a interminable screed. talk about
saying very little with a whole lot of words.

I am a major Steyn fan but found myself skipping
most of this one, too.  After a dearth of Steyn
columns lately, I was hoping for something
more boffo.  Don't give up the ship,
though.  This guy remains the best columnist
writing today.  Bar none.

[gcruse]

 Israel needs a foil and he's it. He'll never be
ousted from power as long as Israel can use
him to justify their actions.

The attacks justify Israel's actions.  If Arafat
can't stop them, or won't, why deal with him?

[Twodees]

Thanks for the ping. Yep, Steyn gives further indication of an ability to fill Mencken's shoes with that reference to ambassador Algosaibi; he'd like to be a suicide bomber if he weren't so old and out of shape.

That was entirely too funny.

[Demidog]

If Arafat can't stop them, or won't, why deal with him?

Good question. Why do they keep continuing to do so? Why have they let him get away time after time? Answer: They need him.

[gcruse]

 Why do they keep continuing to do so? Why have they
let him get away time after time? Answer: They need
him.

Need him for what?  To blame terrorist
attacks on?  Then we need Osama ben Laden,
Jesse Jackson, and Bill Clinton.

[Joan912]

What are you talking about? Steyn is a brilliant writer. Learn from him.