Wedded bliss not a priority for U.S. bachelors (because they enjoy a sexually active single life)

Washington Times ^ | 6/26/02 | Cheryl Wetzstein

[truthandlife]

Men won't commit to marriage because they enjoy a sexually active single life in a social climate that doesn't push them to marry, a new report says. Young men are indeed "commitment phobic," which is bad news for young women who want build a family before they get too old, said researchers Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, who run the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "The median age of first marriage for men has reached 27, the oldest age in our nation's history," Mr. Popenoe said. "If this trend of men waiting to marry continues, it is likely to clash with the timing of marriage and childbearing for the many young women who hope to marry and bear children before they begin to face problems associated with declining fertility," he said. There are several specific reasons for why young men are avoiding marriage, Mr. Popenoe and Mrs. Whitehead said yesterday in their 2002 State of Our Unions report, titled, "Why Men Won't Commit: Exploring Young Men's Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage." The report is based on interviews with 60 single men, 25 to 33, who live in four parts of the country. Primarily, young men are enjoying a sexually active single life

[Phantom Lord]

Rainbow Vacuum Cleaners are far and away the best available. And since I do the vacuuming, I'm gonna do it right.

[wimpycat]

I'm also hard on shoes, and I don't know why. I don't know when's the last time I spent more than, say, $40.00 on a pair of shoes. I also buy cheap purses, so I can change them when I want to.

My big weakness isn't clothes or shoes or purses, it's books. We don't have a decent library around, so I buy books.

[Mark17]

I'm pro import myself.

LOL. Been there, done that.

[LibertarianLiz]

The divorce rate is over 50%, sweetheart. Do we have to paint a picture for you?
Not for first-time marriages. That fifty-percent comes from adding in all the repeat offenders.

I have often wondered about that "50%" number. Do you know what the divorce rate is among first-time marriages?

[Phantom Lord]

Being 'all 3 input' will keep a man happy as well.

Sorry, I just couldnt keep from posting it any longer.

[weikel]

Well my current girlfriend is rich( she denies it but her family owns horses so..) but being much more logical then most women she shares my cynical attitude on marriage( if the girl is richer she gets screwed over by the no fault laws) and nearly everything else for that matter. So she won't marry anyone unless there much richer either.

[technochick99]

Based on that, looks like you two won't be marrying. However, maybe considering a pre-nuptial would be a good idea.

[monkey]

Already the median age of first marriage for women has risen to 25, after floating between 22 and 23 for the century between 1890 and 1990, Mrs. Whitehead said.

The median hardly captures the situation, especially the never-marrieds. I bet the average age for first marriage has risen tremendously.

The NY Times had an article recently on percentages of births out-of-wedlock in Western countries, which strikes me as a significant marker for the health of marriage. Generally, the more socialist countries had a higher oow rate, with Scandanavian countries leading the way (Iceland 60%, Norway 50%). If you have any stock in the survival of together-forever marriage, I advise you to sell it now.

The death of marriage is only one swirl in the fluid dynamics of social change that has taken place in these past decades. The reasons are larger than politics or deconstructionist philosophy, there is no one planning it, and there is no turning back.

[AmishDude]

While I know for a fact it is possible to enter into a true union, mostly I see that men will only break my heart and cost me money.

Money? MONEY???

HOW?

It is true that men and women want to get into each other's pants. Women's eyes, however, are on the hip pocket.

[AmishDude]

From a single guy who can say these things and not get in trouble:

• And the two shall become one -- her.
• Whether he pays for the cow or buys the milk, he will still end up with a nag.
• Behind every great man, there is a woman telling him how worthless he is.
• I really wish they'd keep "obey" in the woman's wedding vows. It provides a much needed comic relief.

[Phantom Lord]

As a married man I can say those things too.

But only when "she who must be obeyed" is not around.

[MEGoody]

Why in the world would someone go into a marriage in the first place not being willing to ride out the hard times - thinking "Well, if I don't like it, I can always bail." Marriage is about commitment. And it's not supposed to be over in this lifetime. Of COURSE there are tough times - they make the good times that much sweeter and the love that is shared that much deeper.

[MEGoody]

"the only way you'll get sex is if you do a lot of chores"

Hmmmm. . .could that have anything to do with the fact that, when the guy doesn't do chores, he sits on his butt getting ready for sex while the wife runs around making dinner, cleaning up, helping kids with homework, bathing kids, getting kids into bed, doing laundry, etc., etc. If the guy actually HELPS with that stuff, wifey has a bit of energy left for sex.

[MEGoody]

"Women's eyes, however, are on the hip pocket."

Yes, that is true of some, but it is also true that some men have their eyes on the handbag so to speak.

[MEGoody]

I can see why you are single. LOL

[TC Rider]

There's truth in the old saying "Why buy the cow when the milk is free".

Or, as Al Bundy noted, "Why buy milk when you're married to a cow."

[AmishDude]

it is also true that some men have their eyes on the handbag so to speak

Tinky Winky?

[AmishDude]

I can see why you are single.

(Well, that and the hideous, disfiguring skin disease.) But, yes, blissfully single!

:D

[Inge_CAV]

"Well my current girlfriend is rich( she denies it but her family owns horses so..)"

"So she won't marry anyone unless there much richer either."

Let me sell you a herd of horses to make you equally rich.

You will be considered a wealthy man, your new bride will be happy ... (and I will be happy!) : )

[smith288]

You couldnt be more wrong bub. (apologies to my mother if i give TMI) ;)