Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
I agree, and I don't expect everyone who watches soccer to like it. It just boggles my mind that people proclaim they don't care about the sport, then go out of their way to bash it, like this thread starter. I don't care for golf (I don't mind playing it, but watching it is real boring to me), but I don't go out of my way to say that it sucks, it's a socialist sport, their players are wusses, etc. (and to your credit, you didn't do that)
Italy vs. Argentina in the final-WAR Giggs!
All the best, CB
Or maybe they have something in common with you?
That's what I was going to say.
I love the NFL (live 6 miles from CMGI field) but the average play takes 4 seconds.
You film an entire game of active plays into 12 minutes.
It's the most popular sport among youth in the US and holds it's popularity on up through college. Until the MLS started up, the players had no further to go with it unless they went to another country. Also, if it's not catching on (as you claim), it's not becase of the sport itself .... it's because of the folks that don't care to understand the game for what it is, because of the limited attention span of TV junkies, and because of the TV stations themselves that would rather make money selling advertising (not easy to do while showing a futbol game. Thank God for ESPN2!
Regards, Ivan
Everybody gets so bored that they start to fight. I remember Groundskeeper Willy saying the crowd didn't know how to fight, and he would show them how to fight the way Scottish hooligans do. The match ended in chaos.
In 1999 I was working at Canterbury Park during the World Cup. The local Fox affiliate sponsored the races one night and showed that Simpsons clip with the intro: "The Simpsons salute the World Cup."
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
Another thing - Americans are good at soccer - your team made the World Cup for God's sake, why the hell are you lot turning your backs on people who are indeed, sporting heroes?
Nobody here including me knows anyone on the US soccer team (by the way, good to see you're being vigilant and referring to it as "soccer," just for us Americans.)
I'm British, not European, but I love football and I have zero in common with him.
Regards, Ivan
I have watched two soccer games in my life. One was the Tampa Bay Rowdies against the Jacksonville somebodies (I think), and one of the Jacksonville players received a light tap and went down rolling around on the ground. I was 5 at the time, and yet I remember thinking that the guy was faking it and that soccer players were not real men.
A few years ago, in the last world cup, I was watching one of the games with Croatia in it (my best friend is Croatian). The big star of Croatia went up for a header I think. A guy on the other team barely touched him. When he landed, he was fine. He took a few steps and saw that the ref was looking at him, so he started to pretend that he was hurt.
This confirmed my earlier view that Soccer is not for real me, especially since Croatia is a manly place otherwise.
And I demand athletes with necks. American football players have no necks. Plenty of shoulder, but no necks. They need necks. Looks bad without necks!
In America he would be crucified in the New York papers for 'lack of mental toughness.' England needed a win in the match to survive the 'Group of Deat' and Mr. Sporty Spice begged off..that kind of thing comes back to haunt a team
You obviously never saw Pele do a bicycle kick, or seen Ronaldo slice through the opposition, or Beckham make a ball bend in the air almost like magic in finding its target. Compare that with the limited action that occurs in an American football game with the referee waving his arms about saying, "Number 22, was truly naughty, got caught snorting blow in the lockers, first down" or suchlike.
And just because you don't know your team doesn't mean this is how it should be. Your team worked hard to get to where it is. You turning your back on them is a supreme insult to their efforts.
I call it "soccer" merely as a courtesy and to be understood.
Ivan
I love football too. I especially loved watching the Packers look like a Division 3 College Team against the Rams in the playoffs last year.
Yeah, all those NFL and NBA players are geniuses, aren't they? </ sarcasm >
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