Study reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

Cornell News ^ | FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002 | Roger Segelken

[vannrox]

Biologist's reading of lonely-hearts personal ads reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002

Contact: Roger Segelken
Office: 607-255-9736
E-Mail: hrs2@cornell.edu

ITHACA, N.Y. -- Kevin J. McGraw, a biologist at Cornell University, knew what female birds and other animals in crowded, resource-scarce environments look for in their mates: males with potential to materially care for females and their offspring. But what about the human animal? What do women really want, McGraw wondered, as he read thousands of lonely-hearts personal ads in newspapers from 23 American cities. After two months of research, the graduate student in Cornell's Department of Neurobiology and Behavior concludes, "In densely populated and resource-demanding environments, birds and women may not be all that different."

Where resources are at a premium -- expensive, big cities from San Francisco to Boston -- so are the men who can provide them, says McGraw. In such densely populated places, personal ads indicate that male-provided material comforts seem more important to women than do emotional or intellectual aspects of a relationship. But in medium- and smaller-sized cities, the biologist's reading of newspaper personal ads found the opposite: Women place more emphasis on emotional aspects or personal interests of potential mates, and less on materialism.

McGraw comments: "This study emphasizes the flexibility of mating strategies, depending on the environments individuals find themselves in. The rich guys don't always win. And the nice guys don't always finish last -- although they might have to move to be found by the right mate."

The personal-ad reader, whose more traditional scientific studies -- the effects of diet, genetics and physiology on birds' plumage color, for example -- have taken him to natural habitats around the world, published his findings, "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences," in Ethology (Vol. 108, pp. 303-317), a European journal of behavioral studies.

Physical attractiveness -- the male attribute that seems to motivate women in the popular television series, "Sex and the City" -- does not vary with geographic location or city size, McGraw discovered. Women across the country, who in their personal ads stated preferences for attractive men, were the same ones who also boasted of physical appeal, such as "attractive, blue-eyed blonde."

New York City, the setting for "Sex and the City," was not included in the study because the city's daily newspapers publish too few lonely hearts ads to offer a representative sample. The largest city in the sample was Los Angeles and the smallest was Montgomery, Ala.

Among large cities where female ad-writers rate men who are good providers over men who are good listeners, San Francisco ranked first -- followed by Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago and Miami, in that order. However, money is much less important to women in St. Louis and Kansas City, with The Big Easy (New Orleans) and Montgomery, Ala., tying for honors as places where women care about things other than income.

Comparing human mate-choice strategies to those of other animals, McGraw says women seeking resource-rich men use phrases like "financially stable" and "professional and intelligent." And those attributes "are important to animals, too, when natural resources are in short supply and the cost of living is high," he adds, nothing that the same species of animals in less crowded environments might have the luxury of looking for other attributes in potential mates.

However, the emotional aspects of interest to women -- such as honesty, compassion and sincerity -- are harder to judge in non-human animals, the biologist says, "although we might look for a male's attentiveness to his mate as a sign of commitment." Regarding shared personal interests, he says, "It's hard for us to put a finger on the hobbies of wild animals, but if you wanted to impress a bird, you might escort her to a foraging site or sing a song with her."

Asked to write a personal ad that would accurately portray himself, McGraw says the advertisement certainly wouldn't emphasize money -- "not on a graduate student's income!"

Besides, a mate already has found McGraw, and he doesn't have time to read newspaper ads these days. He and his wife are expecting their first child in August.

-30-

Syntax and the City: Lonely-hearts ad language reveals where money matters and sincerity slides Desired traits in women-seeking-men personal advertisements in 23 American newspapers, expressed as percentages of all words in ads . Boldface percentages are highest in each category; underlined are the lowest Source: "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences" (Ethology, Vol. 108, pp. 303-331) by Kevin J. McGraw, Cornell University Department of Neurobiology and Behavior.

	Physical	Resources	Emotional	Hobbies
Atlanta, GA	32%	19%	31%	17%
Boston, MA	30	23	35	13
Buffalo, NY	37	16	38	9
Charlotte, NC	29	17	34	20
Chicago, IL	33	22	32	14
Cleveland, OH	35	20	30	15
Denver, CO	31	16	31	22
Detroit, MI	35	18	30	18
Hartford, CT	31	17	36	16
Houston, TX	25	16	34	24
Kansas City, MO	3	13	37	20
Los Angeles, CA	33	24	36	7
Miami, FL	28	21	33	19
Montgomery, AL	21	12	38	29
New Orleans, LA	35	12	32	22
Orlando, FL	32	16	35	17
Philadelphia, PA	33	18	31	18
Pittsburgh, PA	30	18	35	18
Salt Lake City, UT	23	18	33	26
San Francisco, CA	34	28	27	11
Seattle, WA	28	17	29	25
St. Louis, MO	29	14	35	22
Washington, DC	42	18	27	13

[Felicity]

This is one of the things that bothers me most about FR. Posters insulting other posters to other posters, not the one they are insulting. I flash back to Kindergarten. I wasn't judgeing him, notice the wink and the smile. Enjoy the weekend : )

[Sungirl]

HAhahah....this floozy threw herself all over him ..twisted his arm and held a gun to his head....and the poor guy was lured into her trap...LOL.

[Sungirl]

But you'd be poor....

[Sonny M]

I live in NY, its a good thing I happen to be getting an Armani suit this week.

[Senator Pardek]

... I will HAVE to have a prenuptial agreement.

Is it just me, or is it sensible that the law should state that prenups are taken for granted, and that papers must be signed before marriage to nullify this? For the life of me, I've never understood why $$$ is exchanged after a contract is voided - happens in no other instance, except marriage.

[AmishDude]

You're quite right re: #16

[VOA]

As gutless as this may seem, I'm almost certain IF I ever let my guard down against
women and get married that I will HAVE to have a prenuptial agreement.

Don't ever even think about diverting from your current path.
I have a male cousin who, aside from being one of those rare birds to run a profitable
Web/database Internet shop for about five years now has had to basically keep
the gold-diggers at arms length...for now.

He's now furiously piling up as much money and property to be his own possessions...
before he takes the plunge in his community property state.

BEFORE your luck with the ladies changes get consultations with the
best lawyer, CPA, and financial planners you can find...and find every machination
(no matter how nominally legal) to protect yourself.

Remember, no matter how much you may be criticized for following this course, today a
husband is really on his own...if the marriage goes wrong, your ex, your kids (and any
kids your ex has) and some femisist divorce court judge and the spirit of Gloria Allred
will be on the warpath to strip you clean.

(IMHO, the situation was at the other extreme of the pendulum up to about 50 years ago.
Just our bad luck to get hit by the old saw about "timing is everything".)

[Thumper1960]

I sure hope the prototypical woman for Atlanta is NOT Cynthia McKinney!

[AmishDude]

Hmmm . . . just when I thought I had women figured out. I must go back to my notes and recalculate.

[concerned about politics]

I have a 13 year old daughter. I've always told her not to chase money. It's good, but it shouldn't rule her soul.
I told her to seek out a trade that she enjoys rather than take a course for money. She should learn a trade that makes her happy. She'll get by and be much happier because of it.
I also told her not to marry for money, because if for some reason the money is gone, there has to be love to back it up. It's the only way to get through the hard times. No one knows what the future holds.

[inflorida]

There's a saying, "Those who marry for money earn every penny of it"...

[Sungirl]

I need help with this....someome sent me this picture and told me to look at the cute dogs...she said there were "2" dogs!! I CANNOT SEE ANY DOGS! Does anyone else see dogs??

[AmishDude]

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

[VOA]

Oh, I forgot another suggestion.
Watch some episodes of "Cheaters" (air time for different markets at www.cheaters.com).

That might give you a little "virtual reality" experiece at spotting gold diggers
(and yes, they come in both genders).

[sarasmom]

"I'm not saying that this guy is blameless in all of this. But it is obvious that the two women in his life see him as their meal tickets and they are not going to stop until he is cleaned out and completely ruined."

Big of you, allowing him a portion of blame.LOL.

In my experience,men only break my heart and cost me money. I readily admit I am a loser magnet. I also can not wear a digital watch.ROTFALOL.

"Financialy stable" in the "personal adds" generally means a woman wants a man with obvious means of support, ie a job.Employed and not looking for a meal ticket from a woman so desperate for male companionship she places an add.

My former brother in law met and married his wife through a personal add, and they are still together 10 years later.I guess it works for some, but I think I will stay home and await a miracle. If my mate is looking for me, he will find me at my job, the library or the grocery store.I dont get out much!LOL!

But seriously folks, a study based on personal adds defines what women want in a man? Where is the flip side study of what men want in a woman?

[another cricket]

I really do not blame you but if you do find that special girl you might want to approach this very… um… delicately. Because if she is interested in you and not your money she might be insulted enough to walk out. Look for a lady that you would have as a friend even if she didn’t turn you on. It improves your odds considerably.

a.cricket

[OKSooner]

Hell, this guy's just got it figured out. He's very wise for his years. The good news? When he finds Miss Right he'll probably have what she's looking for. God bless you pal.

[edwin hubble]

That is actually a beautiful song;
and like a ballad, it is a fine drama in 3.5 minutes.
She doesn't know how things got so crazy... how she became lazy and abandoned her dreams ...She's in love with the young man with dreams.

Notice what this study, above, is studying. Those women who are placing ads may be that portion of the population who cannot find and keep a real relationship.
These women may be the ones who have given up on the honest relationship and are now bargaining for one who will "keep" them.
Not a good sample.

[xrp]

Nah, I work late on Fridays wrapping up the week's work. I usually go out Saturday nights and 2 or 3 weeknights. Friday is a workout after work / recover night for me ;)

[AmishDude]

Oh, yes, this "study" is garbage. But that's not what these threads are all about. BTW, it's my opinion that the "voice" of the song is the "boy she knew in school". Not the husband or young lover.