WAS JESUS GOD'S NEPHEW? NEW SCANDAL ROCKS CATHOLIC CHURCH

SW ^

[Sir Gawain]

"An Irish priest who has repeatedly stated he does not believe Jesus Christ was the son of God has resigned." — CNN, May 8, 2002

WAS JESUS GOD'S NEPHEW?
NEW SCANDAL ROCKS CATHOLIC CHURCH

Bishops and Parishioners Knew About, Covered Up Heretical Opinions

Dublin, Ireland (SatireWire.com) — In a scandal that promises to further rock the Catholic Church, the resignation Wednesday of an Irish priest who long-believed Jesus was not the son of God has led to accusations against dozens of fellow clerics who allegedly believed Jesus was actually the nephew of God, the second cousin of God, or in one case, just a close family friend.

In New Orleans, La., parishioners say Father Dennis Bycewitz has been hinting that Jesus was adopted. Responds Bycewitz: "Maybe. I said maybe."

"I've kept this inside me for years, but growing up, our parish was led to believe that Jesus was somebody God knew from boarding school," asserted Padraig Mulroney, 38, of Dublin.

"Our priest thought Jesus was God's daughter, Eunice, who only happened to look very masculine due to a recurring problem with hirsutism," said Mary Clarke, 54, of Galway.

Asked why she hadn't stepped forward until now, Clarke blushed. "Facial hair is such an embarrassing issue for girls," she said. "We promised to say nothing about it."

More startling revelations came from parishioners in the Archdiocese of Boston, who now claim the church has long covered up the problem. While the Irish priest, the Rev. Andrew Furlong, said he has privately doubted Jesus' identity for the past 30 years, a minister serving in Roxbury, Mass., during the 1980s openly told his followers that Jesus was the Duchess of Cornwall.

Instead of defrocking the cleric for his belief in the Duchess — who was then Princess Diana — critics allege he was quietly transferred to another parish, where church officials looked the other way when the singing of Agnus Dei was replaced by Elton John's greatest hits.

In the wake of Father Furlong's resignation from his parish, many devout Roman Catholics say they will now error on the side of caution when suspecting priestly transgressions. In Los Angeles, 29-year-old Julio Sanchez said his priest has never actually stated that Jesus was not God's son, but he filed a complaint with diocesan elders anyway "because lately masses have ended with, 'In the name of the Father, His neighbor, and the Holy Ghost, Amen.'"

Accused members of the priesthood, meanwhile, have reacted by retreating into long bouts of introspection and prayer.

"I used to believe Jesus was the son of God, but now I think he was probably just someone God saw at parties," said Father Martin Kilgore of Glasgow, Scotland. "I know the church does not support me in this, and so I will petition for guidance to Saint Anthony, who I believe is the same man who comes to read my gas meter once a month."

[weikel]

Dude lighten up.

[medlarebil]

He's Anglican, not Catholic. You should get your facts right before posting.

[Sir Gawain]

I didn't write the story, genius.

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

"it's a matter of DISRESPECT and BLASPHEMY. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life and no one comes to the Father but by me." [jn 14:6]

I wouldn't want to be this farce of a religious person, come judgement day!!! Good thing he resigned. To think he was teaching this stuff to innocent children!! They must really be confused.

Those in his church who DID NOTHING about it for all these years.. are culpable too!!

[medlarebil]

You wrote the headline. That's the part you got wrong, genius.

[Sir Gawain]

I didn't write the headline. I copied it from the source. SatireWire later changed it. They do that often.

[Sir Gawain]

If you'll notice, they've also changed some of the wording in the story since I posted it.

[Cyber Liberty]

Geesh! You'd think you were declaring Islam a religion of peace or something....

[Sir Gawain]

SW's done that before. I post their articles as soon as they're posted on SW, and they usually go back and edit them afterwards.

[jlogajan]

You'd think a smart guy like a God could speak clearly so that people desperately trying to follow his teachings could all figure out what exactly it was he meant.

biblical truths are spiritually discerned not intellectually discerned. Since you are not a believer you cannot understand. Read 1st Cor. 2:14: But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.

That's fine, exmarine, but it is actually nonresponsive to the point. By whatever means this alleged "truth" comes to be known, Christian advocates seem to be widely divergent about what that "truth" is.

Undercutting an intellectual understanding of the Bible buys you more trouble than you might at first realize. It sort of makes reading the Bible pointless -- since the fruits of spiritual understanding are not to be found in any intellectual grasp thereof.

[exmarine]

Actually, you are wrong. All "christians" agree on the essentials - deity of Christ, means of salvation, virgin birth of Christ, bodily resurrection. These are historic essentials that go back to to Jesus Himself. Anyone who denies these cannot call themselves an orthodox or biblical Christian. These essentials DEFINE Christianity and they are from the bible. As the man said, "unity in the essentials, liberty in the non-essentials and in all things, charity." Of course, since you are a mere skeptic (I remember you from other threads), I do not expect you to accept anything I say as your purpose is purely polemical. go bother someone else.

[thrcanbonly1]

biblical truths are spiritually discerned not intellectually discerned.

Lucky for you.

[Doctor Stochastic]

.... "Aryan Heresy".

I think you mean Arian Heresy. An Aryan Heresy would be the belief that Aryans (Most Europeans, Iranians, Indians, etc.) are superior to other races (Jews, Arabs, other Semites, Negros, Mongols, Amerinds, Australians, Polynesians, Chinese, Japanese, Chuckchee, etc.)

Arias believed that Christ was created by God and therefore subject to Him. Opponents (Athanasius et. al.) believed that Christ was uncreated, co-equal, co-eternal and consubstantial with his Father. I leave it to the Theophagi to dispute such points.

[SkyPilot]

No--Jesus was and is the Son of God.

Next question.

[BlackElk]

Actually, they would excommunicate the likes of you. Interpreting the bible is not my job. I have enough jobs in life and I like to leave that one where it belongs in the capable hands of the papacy established for just that purpose and a number of others.

[BlackElk]

Do you agree with the Gospel of John which tells us that when Jesus Christ told his disciples of the necessity of eating His Flesh and Drinking His Blood in order to see heaven, that many of them found that a hard saying and walked away. Many still find that a hard saying and still walk away. Many find a truly obscure hidden meaning that wine means grape juice and that the Eucharist is merely symbolic. You know what I think as a Catholic, don't you? What do you think about the Real Presence, and why?

[exmarine]

And you are a fool if you believe that joking about the nature and person of Jesus Christ is okay.

[exmarine]

The catholic doctrine of Transubstantiation has nothing to do with this thread. The issue here is blasphemous use of the name of Jesus Christ, and there is no question that blasphmey has indeed been committed by those who support this poison post. Stop hiding behind the catholic church - blasphemy is blasphemy.