Posted on 05/09/2002 7:00:15 AM PDT by Sir Gawain
"An Irish priest who has repeatedly stated he does not believe Jesus Christ was the son of God has resigned." — CNN, May 8, 2002
WAS JESUS GOD'S NEPHEW?
NEW SCANDAL ROCKS CATHOLIC CHURCH
Bishops and Parishioners Knew About, Covered Up Heretical Opinions
Dublin, Ireland (SatireWire.com) — In a scandal that promises to further rock the Catholic Church, the resignation Wednesday of an Irish priest who long-believed Jesus was not the son of God has led to accusations against dozens of fellow clerics who allegedly believed Jesus was actually the nephew of God, the second cousin of God, or in one case, just a close family friend.
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| In New Orleans, La., parishioners say Father Dennis Bycewitz has been hinting that Jesus was adopted. Responds Bycewitz: "Maybe. I said maybe." |
"I've kept this inside me for years, but growing up, our parish was led to believe that Jesus was somebody God knew from boarding school," asserted Padraig Mulroney, 38, of Dublin.
"Our priest thought Jesus was God's daughter, Eunice, who only happened to look very masculine due to a recurring problem with hirsutism," said Mary Clarke, 54, of Galway.
Asked why she hadn't stepped forward until now, Clarke blushed. "Facial hair is such an embarrassing issue for girls," she said. "We promised to say nothing about it."
More startling revelations came from parishioners in the Archdiocese of Boston, who now claim the church has long covered up the problem. While the Irish priest, the Rev. Andrew Furlong, said he has privately doubted Jesus' identity for the past 30 years, a minister serving in Roxbury, Mass., during the 1980s openly told his followers that Jesus was the Duchess of Cornwall.
Instead of defrocking the cleric for his belief in the Duchess — who was then Princess Diana — critics allege he was quietly transferred to another parish, where church officials looked the other way when the singing of Agnus Dei was replaced by Elton John's greatest hits.
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In the wake of Father Furlong's resignation from his parish, many devout Roman Catholics say they will now error on the side of caution when suspecting priestly transgressions. In Los Angeles, 29-year-old Julio Sanchez said his priest has never actually stated that Jesus was not God's son, but he filed a complaint with diocesan elders anyway "because lately masses have ended with, 'In the name of the Father, His neighbor, and the Holy Ghost, Amen.'"
Accused members of the priesthood, meanwhile, have reacted by retreating into long bouts of introspection and prayer.
"I used to believe Jesus was the son of God, but now I think he was probably just someone God saw at parties," said Father Martin Kilgore of Glasgow, Scotland. "I know the church does not support me in this, and so I will petition for guidance to Saint Anthony, who I believe is the same man who comes to read my gas meter once a month."
While the original post was satire, there is an interesting serious point to be made here. One of the notions advanced during the early centuries of the Christian era was that Jesus was an ordinary man who was at some point infused with the Divine. This concept is now known as the "Adoptionist Heresy".
Actually I have seen some pretty laughable "interpretations" of that coming from so-called "Christians." They sure aren't all the same. You'd think a smart guy like a God could speak clearly so that people desperately trying to follow his teachings could all figure out what exactly it was he meant.
Oh my! You're in trouble. 
Altogether now on the second verse...
If it ridiculed Christ, she wouldn't have posted it.
I would wager that Jesus doesn't come close to taking Himself as seriously as you do.
God created humor, and the only Person you can't laugh about is God?
Really? Then why does the 2nd commandment COMMAND us not to take the Lord's name in vain? And why did God give Israel the death penalty for blasphemy and idolotry? Obviously, the God of the bible is not the same God as your imaginary God with a sense of humor that condones blasphemy. The REAL God demands REVERENCE to His Holy Name and to treat His name in a cavalier and disrespectful manner like this is a clear indication that there is no love of God in the thread-poster's heart - or in yours for that matter! I think you better read your bible, then get on your knees and ask God to show you how to love Him.
biblical truths are spiritually discerned not intellectually discerned. Since you are not a believer you cannot understand. Read 1st Cor. 2:14: But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.
You're an old sourpuss! Lighten up, will ya?
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