Bad Kids in Class [Palm Beach teachers: 'We leave teaching because of kids' bad behavior.']

The Palm Beach Post ^ | April 14, 2002 | S. Colavecchio and K. Miller

[summer]

Isn't it considered embarrassing to be uneducated in the Asian community?

I know that from the time when my children knew how to behave out in public (and I'm talking a year old at the youngest), it was impressed upon them not to embarrass themselves or our family. Bad public behavior is considered an embarrassment to our entire family. Because of this, my boys are delights to take out in public. Polite and discreet and cheerful. We talk and discuss things without even considering a discipline problem.

I had a woman in Walmart ask me once if my boys always behaved so well...a complete stranger! She startled me and I said "Oh, yes!" Then she told me that she hates to bring her kids out in public! Can you believe it?

Yes. I can believe it. Kudos to your kid and you. And, I bet that other kid's teacher regularly pulls out her own hair in frustration. Because when the parent can't control the kid, it can get pretty hopeless pretty quickly.

Also, you bring up an excellent point that I was thinking about after I posted: Academic achievement is a question of "honor" in many Asian homes.

A student who does well in school is told the student has brought honor to the family name, while a student who does poorly, is made to feel that this failure constitutes dishonor.

In other words, there is a definate criteria set, and the child is expected to meet it. End of story in that family. Such expectations do not exist in all families -- whatever the child does, is "fine."

Some educators are quick to say this puts too much pressure on a child, but, when expectations are high, people will strive to meet those expectations. And, when expectations are low, well, we know how that goes too.

[stillonaroll]

Reforming government schools is an inadequate half measure. The time has come to end this country's failed experiment in government sponsored education. Privatize!

[summer]

And, I would never say this if it wasn't true, but here is what advice a well-meaning black teacher told me in a school where I taught that was all black. She said my "mistake" is that I was trying to teach these kids to dream of being lawyers and doctors and anything else, while the parents of these black kids are only concerned about this: keeping the kid out of jail. And, she said, as she had also taught in white schools, the expectations there is different -- the parents want to know if a teacher is qualified and can teach. But here, she told me, the parent wants to know if you can discipline the kid -- and that's the primary goal, not this stuff I was putting into these kids' heads. She was serious, and was trying to be helpful. That's how she saw it. And, more than one parent in that school actually told me: "If you gotta slap my kid in the head, do it." Of course, I did not do that. But that was the attitude -- keep the kid out of jail and teach him to behave. This reading, writing and math stuff was just filler in some eyes of the adults at that school.

[summer]

the expectation there is different

[chriservative]

How about finding another house to haunt. You are clearly just looking for a fight and I don't have the time to babysit you.

Appy, I'm not haunting your house, nor am I looking for a fight. I just keep coming across posts of yours that need to be addressed. Nothing personal sweetie. Chao!

[moyden]

Basically, you are correct. Only parents can raise a child and control his behavior. However, educrats and other liberal thugs are largely to blame by telling parents that they cannot raise or discipline their children, and persecuting any parent who attempts to do so. You see, only the enlightened educrat so capable of proper child-rearing.

Educrat thugs consist mostly of school administrators, state and federal education bureaucrats, college professors, social workers, and psychologists. Occupations which have nothing to do with education and everything to do with left-wing politics, lust for power, and funding.

Educrats have the arrogance to think they can raise children better than the parents - an arrogance on display in the persecution of homeschool parents.

However, when parents give up the battle and let the educrats have the power they crave, the educrats fail miserably. Incredibly, they then begin to whine and snivel that behavior problems are still "the parent's fault".

[homeschool mama]

**Abusive behavior is learned. Its not innate. There are better ways to discipline your children than beat them. **

There is a clear difference between beating and discipline, chris. A few posters have attempted to explain the difference. Unfortunately, you refuse to listen.

Perhaps you could calm down and truly *listen* to what AppyPappy and a few others have shared.

[chriservative]

yawn.

[homeschool mama]

**yawn. **

This reply was proof of your infantile emotional state. Now sit down and eat your peas. They're getting cold.

Kids these days...

[LarryLied]

Kids in Jupiter Farms, a new rural housing area (horse are big) are now trucked down to Palm Beach Gardens school. ON the edge of Robert Wexler land. Middle class people in the Farms who worked like dogs to buy a new home in the country and get their kids out of the rot. Now they are furious. The kids spend almost two hours a day on a school bus.

[LarryLied]

How about every student including your brood of vipers is a despicable philistine lout! Parents are getting the public school system that they deserve. They don't take care of their kids, they don't demand that they study, they don't discipline them.

It is the money or it is the kids or it is the parents. Over and over.

Ever consider it is a government monopoly run by an extreme left wing union which not only delivers a lousy product but has corrupted the soul of our nation with the hundreds of millions of dollars they have given to Democrat politicians over the years? Teachers support tax increases which gut families. Teachers support the homosexual agenda which debases normal human relationships. Teachers support diversity as a good in itself. Teachers support driving religion out of schools and out of the public square. Name a plank in the communist manifesto and teachers are not only for it, they want it to go even further.

Not all teachers, of course. Lots of good ones out there. But they are not the majority by any means or the unions would not be what they are. And even the good ones are trapped in a system which is incapable of producing a decent product at a good price.

[janetgreen]

I'm with you, Pappy. Swats at school didn't hurt my three sons' psyches a bit, and the humiliation alone was enough to make them think twice before repeating their behavior. Of course this was in the 'seventies, and kids then didn't carry knives or guns to school, and I don't remember even one report of a threat to a teacher in their school or any other school. One of my boys was given a swat because he laughed when the (fat) teacher was writing on the blackboard and the loose skin on her arm was shaking. He kept his mouth shut after that.

Parents should be made to sign a paper stating that they won't sue if their little darling gets swatted, and the swatter should be a big guy! This of course won't solve all the problems, but in certain cases it might help to keep some order.

[Teacher317]

bump for later, gotta go run a track meet!

[summer]

Re my post #116 -- And, of course, I should add: I do realize one can not draw conclusions about EVERYONE, as there certainly are some Asian kids in gangs and living in single parent homes, just as there ARE some black students doing well in school and coming from 2-parents.

But what I learned from that experience is that some people have other concerns -- more immediate ones, in their eyes -- and they do not yet see the connection between their concerns and the value of education.

[summer]

2-parents = 2-parent homes.

[summer]

The kids spend almost two hours a day on a school bus.

I saw that situation too in a school where I taught. Not good for the kids.

[summer]

Not all teachers, of course. Lots of good ones out there.

Larry, Your enlighted comments amaze me sometimes. And, I mean that in the nicest way you can imagine. :)