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MY SOUTH
Ever Vigilant ^ | Robert St. John

Posted on 02/14/2002 9:01:00 AM PST by sheltonmac

Thirty years ago I visited my first cousin in Virginia. While hanging out with his friend, the discussion turned to popular movies of the day. When I offered my two-cents on the authenticity and social relevance of the movie Billy Jack, one of the boys asked, in all seriousness; "Do you guys have movie theaters down there?" To which I replied, "Yep. We wear shoes too."

Just three years ago, my wife and I were attending a food and wine seminar in Aspen, Colorado. We were seated with two couples from Las Vegas. One of the Glitter Gulch gals was amused and downright rude when I described our restaurant as a fine-dining restaurant. "Mississippi doesn't have fine-dining restaurants!" she demanded and nudged her companion. I fought back the strong desire to mention that she lived in the land that invented the 99-cent breakfast buffet.

I wanted badly to defend my state and my restaurant with a 15-minute soliloquy and public relations rant that would surely change her mind. It was at that precise moment that I was hit with a blinding jolt of enlightenment, and in a moment of complete and absolute clarity it dawned on me -- my South is the best-kept secret in the country. Why would I try to win this woman over? She might move down here.

I am always amused by Hollywood's interpretation of the South. We are still, on occasion, depicted as a collective group of sweaty, stupid, backwards-minded and racist rednecks. The South of movies and TV, the Hollywood South, is not my South.

This is my South:

- My South is full of honest, hard-working people.

- My South is colorblind. In my South, we don't put a premium on pigment. No one cares whether you are black, white, red, or green with orange polka dots.

- My South is the birthplace of blues and jazz, and rock n' roll. It has banjo pickers and fiddle players, but it also has B.B. King, Muddy Waters, the Allman Brothers, Emmylou Harris, and Elvis.

- My South is hot.

- My South smells of newly mowed grass.

- My South was the South of The Partridge Family, Hawaii 5-0, and kick the can.

- My South was creek swimming, cane-pole fishing, and bird hunting.

- In my South, football is king, and the Southeastern Conference is the kingdom.

- My South is home to the most beautiful women on the planet.

- In my South, soul food and country cooking are the same thing.

- My South is full of fig preserves, cornbread, butter beans, fried chicken, grits and catfish.

- In my South we eat foie gras, caviar, and truffles.

- In my South, our transistor radios introduced us to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones at the same time they were introduced to the rest of the country.

- In my South, grandmothers cook a big lunch every Sunday.

- In my South, family matters, deeply.

- My South is boiled shrimp, blackberry cobbler, peach ice cream, banana pudding, and oatmeal cream pies.

- In my South people put peanuts in bottles of Coca Cola and hot sauce on almost everything.

- In my South the tea is iced and almost as sweet as the women.

- My South has air-conditioning.

- My South is camellias, azaleas, wisteria, and hydrangeas.

- In my South, the only person that has to sit on the back of the bus is the last person that got on the bus.

- In my South, people still say "yes, ma'am," "no ma'am," "please," and "thank you."

- In my South, we all wear shoes....most of the time.

My South is the best-kept secret in the country. Please continue to keep the secret....it keeps the idiots away.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
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To: sheltonmac
Since I am from the south I wanted to add a few things left out. My South also has: *Rice pudding and tapioca *Swamp cabbage *Mosquitos, chiggers, and fireflies *The biggest roaches you have seen *Alligators & snakes *Good fishing *Tornadoes and hurricanes *Nice beaches
61 posted on 02/14/2002 9:46:01 AM PST by LADYAK
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To: sheltonmac;gratefulwharffratt
Was your cousin in Northern Virginia? There is an incredible difference between the Virginia near Washington D.C. and liberal Maryland and the Virginia of Lee's Richmond and south of it.

And don't forget the turnip greens, black-eyed peas, Brunswick stew, boiled peanuts and barbeque. And of course porch swings, lightening bugs and Spanish moss. And some of us still don't wear shoes if we can help it.

Ping Ratty.

62 posted on 02/14/2002 9:46:04 AM PST by sweetliberty
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To: Friend_Or_Foe
Then there is Soso, Shubuta, Shuqualak, Saucier and Success.
63 posted on 02/14/2002 9:46:16 AM PST by oyez
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To: kd5cts
Try this one, take a little etoufee (no rice), and spoon it around on top of your fried catfish.

mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmm. Can't nobody beat food in the South

64 posted on 02/14/2002 9:46:43 AM PST by DETAILER
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To: oyez
Might as well face it. If you ain't Southern you ain't sh*t

Unlike you I have never thought of myself that way. I respect your honesty at face value.

65 posted on 02/14/2002 9:46:45 AM PST by DonkeyHodee
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Comment #66 Removed by Moderator

To: cav68
Since you're from the Smithfield area you'll appreciate this. My wife and I recently left No. Va. and came to live in Williamsburg. Our daughter is three and loves Chinese food, so when she's asked where to get some, she says you have to take the big boat (the Surrey ferry) and go to Number One Chinese!
67 posted on 02/14/2002 9:48:47 AM PST by Leesylvanian
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To: Cernunnos
My South was the South of The Partridge Family, Hawaii 5-0....

Huh? South Pasadena and Waikiki?

I didn't get that one either. Made no sense.

68 posted on 02/14/2002 9:48:50 AM PST by tallhappy
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To: Lorraine
Agree that Northern Virginia is not south. Being a yankee, I assumed it was, but when I moved here I found nothing but more yankees.

I know a lot of "southerner jokes," but I really secretly have deep-south envy. Something about those big porches, hi-cal meals, tall tales and sweet tea! Plus I hate wearing shoes.

69 posted on 02/14/2002 9:50:19 AM PST by meowmeow
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To: sheltonmac
>>...When I offered my two-cents on the authenticity and social relevance of the movie Billy Jack, one of the boys asked, in all seriousness; "Do you guys have movie theaters down there?" To which I replied, "Yep. We wear shoes too."...<<

LOL! For many years, my relatives in PA refused to come down to Alabama to visit. They were afraid the KKK would get them (they're white). Plus, they truly didn't think there were any cities here. Just farms and forests.

70 posted on 02/14/2002 9:52:32 AM PST by FReepaholic
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To: Cleburne
Half of which are already in full bloom this time of year! Durn it's nice to live where winter lasts two weeks...

LOL, our crocuses stuck their heads up weeks ago and I've got a yard full of dafodils now. But if you live up north, you probably wouldn't really like North Carolina...
wink wink

71 posted on 02/14/2002 9:53:06 AM PST by TC Rider
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To: Friend_Or_Foe
"Bump for Mobile, Birmingham, Aniston, Gadsen, Montgomery and Holly Pond."

Well, don't leave out Eufaula!

72 posted on 02/14/2002 9:53:07 AM PST by Redbob
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To: GBA
My cousin ...a liberal judge in SF ...who's from Miss...same as me ..sent me that same joke a few weeks back....it is funny isn't it?
73 posted on 02/14/2002 9:53:13 AM PST by wardaddy
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To: Friend_Or_Foe
In Ohio, the North is reduced to a five mile corridor that hugs the lake and then explodes again in Michigan---

the rest is Deliverance...Bush Country!

74 posted on 02/14/2002 9:54:39 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: sheltonmac
Ahhh... Spent about a year in Birmingham. Coming from Illinois, life in the South was a bit of a culture shock for me at first, but as time passed I learned to enjoy my time there very much.

Your article now makes me long for those beautiful and warm spring days...

75 posted on 02/14/2002 9:54:43 AM PST by SaveTheChief
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Comment #76 Removed by Moderator

Comment #77 Removed by Moderator

To: wardaddy
You can't defame a sow's ear for being what it was before someone else finally made a passable silk purse out of it.
78 posted on 02/14/2002 9:56:26 AM PST by DonkeyHodee
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To: kd5cts
Pardon the drool on this post. Sounds fantastic. Dont get the Southern flair here in Hawaii. Mostly what they call Pacific Rim. We do have lots of great Seafoods and fresh fish here, and I love that. When talking of the South people always joke about "grits" and "hogjawls", but I knew that the south had great dishes. I just never had a chance to find out first hand. The best to you and your restaurant. F.H.
79 posted on 02/14/2002 9:57:31 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: Cleburne
"Durn it's nice to live where winter lasts two weeks..."

Ain't it though? And having a nice, long growing season.

80 posted on 02/14/2002 9:58:03 AM PST by sweetliberty
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