Something happened today!

My dementia | 02/08/2002 | Lazamataz

[Lazamataz]

Washington D.C. (UPA) -- In a stunning report, something is going on, reports a government agency Thursday. This happened over three times in three weeks, someone in this agency was quoted as saying.

“You’d be surprised what happens,” said this employee, “sometimes, things happen and I am not even made aware of it.” The employee would neither confirm nor deny that something went on, despite a Congressional Inquiry into the sequence of events.

Something happens on a regular basis somewhere in the globe, confirmed the Center for Responsive Stuff. Rates of things occurring have been rising worldwide ever since the government began keeping track of things, with a sharp dip in things not happening in February, bringing the total of stuff going on to an all time high. The incidence of foreign activity has sharply increased, as well, bringing the activity deficit to a relative parity with some other place somewhere. >{? “Surprisingly, things happen in foreign countries too,” said the Chief Counsel of Affairs of the United Nations, “and it is very difficult to keep track of it all – even in this highly computerized information age we are in.”

The quantity of things going on elsewhere has greatly concerned the Pentagon, who tries to keep strict controls on the various things going on. Said General Ween: “If things are allowed to get out of hand, there is just no telling, I mean, who knows where it will go or how bad it can get.” The President has budgeted for a sharp increase in monitoring capability for the US military in response to the threat of various things happening.

[Stand Watch Listen]

I wish it doesn't happen. Since you're a 'happening' guy...I thought I would assist and enable you to know more about what's happening. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

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[fporretto]

And you know there's something happening here,
But you don't know what it is,
Do you... Mister Jones?

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit the Palace Of Reason: http://palaceofreason.com

[redhead]

It started on Clinton's watch...

Yeah, but it's still the Republicans' fault.

Well, you know, they don't call the Republicans the "stupid party" for NOTHING...

[fish hawk]

Well...there goes our week-end. Why does it always have to happen on a Friday???

[gratefulwharffratt]

In a stunning report, something is going on,

Surprisingly enough, I learned MORE from this story, than I have ANY recent stories penned by the Associated Press, or the NY Times.

Hmmmmm...

[RedBloodedAmerican]

WAZZZHAPPPENIN'

[Twodees]

I urge you to seek professional help before you snap and kill us all.............;-)

[Chemist_Geek]

There was no Breaking News today, as the few things that did happen, didn't happen fast enough.

Nooooo, there was no Breaking News today because someone just bought a service contract for the News. Therefore, none of it broke. We'll have to wait until after the tech-rep leaves for it to break again.

[nettlsome]

Get It! Take a vacation(if you can) We think of all the things you have brought to the forefront. You are with us even in your absence but don't begone too long! I admire and have learned from your posts.

[Redcloak]

I couldn't help but notice that this reads better if you imagine it in the voice of a breathless Michael Palin.

[nettlsome]

Noot up to stuff aan snuff on that is PAlin dying ?

[Dog]

Something happened....

Jack Benny is DEAD!

[Redcloak]

Not quite. In fact, he may recover. Yes, I do beleive that he's feeling much better now.

[sinclair]

I urge you to seek professional help before you snap and kill us all.............;-)

BEFORE he snaps.  Little late aren't ya?

[Southack]

Montgomery - API - In a related development, the State of Alabama revealed today that it was running a foreign trade deficit with other states in regards to things that happen.

Spokeswoman for Governor Siegelman, Amanda Gotlaid, said that "Alabama is having difficulty keeping up with all of the new things that are happening in the world today. Sure, we've always got great fishing in the Gulf, boating, water-skiing, horseback-riding, world-class golf, college football, hunting, skeet-shooting, mountain-climbing, bike trails, and historic War of Northern Agression sites to tour, but we're having a tough time keeping up with the gambling in Mississippi, snow skiing in Teluride, and the wild party club scene of San Francisco. With a little gambling and some better clubbing, Alabama might be able to change the impression that fly-over country leaves with our betters on the hyper-urban Coasts."

Ooops, time to go to the range. Decisions, decisions. Do I take the Corvette, the Jeep, or the Mooney? No matter, I'll shoot a few for ya, big guy!

[nettlsome]

Good, he was/is a genius to be sure. Saw another guy of the old group recently and he didn't look real well either. Real Ot here, sorry but old Monties were the real deal in the 70's. okaaay 80's, 90's. I used to bring tapes of them to my staid uptite parents. It was like a big deal then. My parents finally got it. They got some rock songs and we delivered each other with an appreciation of good music and vocals. My dear dad died recently and I wish i could have done so much more. He didn't think he was going to die right around then. I didn't either. I was so damn smart all the time I missed a good deal of wisdom.

[flada]

If I want to do things, I believe a have a Constitutionally protected right to do things. It isn't the Federal government's place to monitor what individuals do. Furthermore, when you get right down to the crux of it, the simple fact that they are monitoring the doing of things is a very strong indication that they are doing things themselves. But I guess it's okay for them--like always they exempt themselves from their own rules.

[sweetliberty]

"Next the moderators are gonna want to know EXACTLY what happened, then, of course, all hell will break loose!!"

You HAD to go and get them involved. Now they will be blaming US for stuff happening! Then Jim will have to spank us again because we will bashing each other like crazy over who allowed what to happen! And there will be more vanity posts by newbies asking WHAT happened and why, which will be followed by more moose and cheese threads.

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

""The effect on the financial markets was immediate. As traders reduced their positions, money managers scrambled to unload stocks in companies affected at these unexpected events. The Dow was down 5638 points by mid-day and the lunch crowd on Wall Street was avoiding the sidewalk to escape a steady rain of bodies bouncing off the sidewalks. Ted Howe, chief investment officer of the investment firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe stated on CNBC “this is an unprecedented opportunity to buy some of the best companies at Blue Light Special prices” and explained that he had added to his K-Mart position. Other analysts took a more cautious approach, recommending the total liquidation of all portfolios with the proceeds to be stuffed securely under the mattress and guarded by Doberman pincers. “You never know when the other shoe is going to drop” one opined. 78 posted on 2/8/02 9:54 AM Pacific by moneyrunner""

R O T F L M A O!!!!

[Republican Wildcat]

Not at all surprising that this would happen on a Friday. Something always happens on a Friday so that it gets minimum exposure.