God Bless America !!
David
Slow news day.. Decided we all needed a humor break.. dug this one out of the archives, for a stroll down memory lane.. hope this puts a smile on your face.. as always feel free to add some of you own.
David
Slow news day.. Decided we all needed a humor break.. dug this one out of the archives, for a stroll down memory lane.. hope this puts a smile on your face.. as always feel free to add some of you own.
David
Hi David, haven't talked to you in a long time - since I took one of your polls I believe!
We're heartless now. Thanks. Funny.
How about:
American Republican: You have two cows. You pay somebody to milk your two cows so he can save and buy his own cows. You sell the milk, buy more cows with the money, and employ more people to milk your cows so THEY can buy their own cows.
Then you expand the operation and start making cheese!
OOPS - Did somebody say “CHEESE”?!!
Bookmark
After all these years this is still one of my favorite threads.. certainly there are some freepers out there with some “healthcare” related cows and politics one liners..
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in
California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of
dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Bucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL
tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many
cows and calves you have, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks his at peacefully grazing herd
and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his
Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he
calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution Photo..
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany...
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored.. He then accesses an MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
Laser Jet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows
and calves.”
“That’s amazing. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves, “says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
business is will you give me back my calf?”
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”
“You’re a congress man for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”
“No guessing required,” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment
trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a
thing about how working people make a living - or about cows for that matter.
This is a flock of sheep!
Now, give me back my dog.”