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HUMOR BREAK - Cows and Politics..........
David C. Osborne (Private E-mail) ^ | UNKNOWN | UNKNOWN

Posted on 01/30/2002 3:20:21 AM PST by davidosborne

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To: davidosborne
for the most part I believe the average Republican is FAR MORE generous than the average Democrat.

Yea, and the big difference is that average Republican takes from his own stash and gives generously. The dem takes from everybody all of what they have and spreads it out among the "masses" after they pay for the bureaucratic red tape, in an attempt to equalize everyone and render them powerless.

101 posted on 10/12/2007 11:48:00 AM PDT by Frwy (Proud member of the vast right wing conspiracy.)
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To: Just another Joe

LOLOLOL!!!!


102 posted on 10/12/2007 3:10:22 PM PDT by sneakers (This Pennsylvania gal supports DUNCAN HUNTER for President!)
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To: politicallyincarrect; /\XABN584; 3D-JOY; 5Madman; <1/1,000,000th%; 11B3; 1Peter2:16; ...

After all these years this is still one of my favorite threads.. certainly there are some freepers out there with some “healthcare” related cows and politics one liners..


103 posted on 03/24/2010 2:12:47 AM PDT by davidosborne (DavidOsborneDotZurvitaDotBiz)
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To: davidosborne

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

I thought that one was particularily fitting today.


104 posted on 03/24/2010 2:28:35 AM PDT by 21twelve (Having the Democrats in control is like a never-ending game of Calvin ball. (Giotto))
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To: davidosborne

BTTT


105 posted on 03/24/2010 2:57:59 AM PDT by E.G.C.
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To: davidosborne

bump to read later....
I think the feds wanting t crash wallstreet again makes perfect sense....and taking over student loans is another one that should finish us off...I’m laughing all the time


106 posted on 03/24/2010 6:46:21 AM PDT by dalebert
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To: davidosborne

Thanks for the laugh, even if it is re-hashed. I needed the smile today.


107 posted on 03/24/2010 11:40:00 AM PDT by brothers4thID (http://scarlettsays.blogspot.com/)
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To: davidosborne

Cow power! heheh.


108 posted on 03/24/2010 4:41:32 PM PDT by Marine_Uncle (Honor must be earned....)
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To: davidosborne

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in
California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of
dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Bucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL
tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many
cows and calves you have, will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks his at peacefully grazing herd
and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his
Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he
calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution Photo..

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored.. He then accesses an MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
Laser Jet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows
and calves.”

“That’s amazing. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves, “says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
business is will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a congress man for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required,” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment
trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a
thing about how working people make a living - or about cows for that matter.

This is a flock of sheep!

Now, give me back my dog.”


109 posted on 03/25/2010 3:39:13 AM PDT by davidosborne (DavidOsborneDotZurvitaDotBiz)
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To: davidosborne

Funny... But true..


110 posted on 03/25/2010 1:01:01 PM PDT by goseminoles
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