Posted on 01/30/2002 3:20:21 AM PST by davidosborne
I know this is an old one.. but one of my soldiers e-mailed it to me, and it made me chuckle, so I am passing it on..
Cows & Politics Explained
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
David
From what I know about Dems and Repubs.....Conservatives give WAY more than non-conservatives.....ala this site!
FReegards,
and SMILE !!
David
David
You may regret saying that. Cow haiku:
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Baa Moo Moo Moo
A Sheep! A Sheep! Moo
Black and white cows graze
Binary in the meadow
Supercowputer
Owl and Pussycat
at sea, in a pea green boat.
Cow on launch pad. Go!
Cow eyes hungrily
My green Ozwald Boating suit.
I sprint for the barn.
A childhood, a friend,
a cow behind the wire fence.
Now she has the toys.
I fear that one day,
there will be no more cow cards,
birthdays will be hard.
English Countryside,
How could we know it without,
Small houses, large cows.
Oh Cow, Ninja cow,
Your Covert Operations,
Frighten the Children.
I'm running for governor of California.
Weinie
FReegards,
David
Slow news day.. Decided we all needed a humor break.. dug this one out of the archives, for a stroll down memory lane.. hope this puts a smile on your face.. as always feel free to add some of you own.
David
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