TOP TEN LIST: Suggestions For A Sexier CNN

[Doctor Raoul]

10. Breast implant surgery for Andrea Thompson

9. Throw Mardi Gras beads at Helen Thomas

8. Remake “Long Dong Silver” starring Bernie Shaw

7. Schedule John King for that much over due bikini wax

6. "Live Nude Sex Show with Eleanor Clift and Joe Conason"

5. Replace Crossfire’s Tucker Carlson with Dr Ruth

4. Replace Crossfire’s Bill Press with a Real Man

3. "Cross Dressing With Kaplan" starring the Lewinsky dress

2. Lower studio temperature, call it “CNN Headlights News”

1. Breast reduction surgery for Wolf Blizter

[Roebucks]

Post 45 turned a perfectly good Moosehead beer into a wet and stained keyboard. Thank you very much. ROTFLMAOPIMP.

[Howlin]

I may be closer.......LOL.

[Tennessee_Bob]

One more thing...I just went past the 48 hour mark without smoking. I'm using the nicotine patch. It gives you vivid dreams (like going from a 12 inch black and white with tinfoil on the antenna to a 37 inch supertube with digital cable). That picture in 62 is going to be in my mind now, dammit...and I won't be able to wake up because I took a couple Tylenol PM to get past the insomnia. I'm screwed now...and I'm coming after you....

LOL!!!!!!!!

[Tennessee_Bob]

Well, see post #83, and save some for me....

[jigsaw]

Photo #62 MUST be sent to the White House!   ROTFLMAO!!!!!

[FresnoDA]

 

Reasons FNC Fired Paula Zahn

The New York Times:
Fox News Channel fired Paula Zahn...Fox executives noted that her ratings have been the lowest for any of the network's prime-time talk shows. [FNC Chairman Roger] Ailes said, "I could have put a dead raccoon on the air this year and got a better rating than last year."
-Thursday, September 6, 2001

Reason #1: Refused request to do at least 2 hours per day in a bikini.

Reason #2: Top brass found out she's a bottle blonde.

Reason #3: Caught her reading a book without pictures.

Reason #4: Shep took the rap that girl Paula ran over, and she didn't even say thanks.

Reason #5: Murdock asked her to play the cello at the 5th anniversary party,
and she had to come clean that she can't play. It just looked good on her resume.

Reason #6: Confessed to USA Today that O'Reilly is just
a real big, no talent, contrarian and everyone at Fox knows it.

Reason #7: Pissed them off over at that Evergreen Coffee Shop,
and if that place stops serving, the network HQ will starve.

Reason #8: Lost ugly catfight with young up and comer
Molly Falconer over bottle of mousse in Green Room B.

Reason #9: Seen crawling all over the New York Post's Steve Dunleavy
at Langan's, offering to "sex him up" for the price of a gin and tonic.

Reason #10: You don't give Cavuto a little sugar, and this is what happens.

Reason #11: Rejected Roger Ailes' plea to "convince" Limbaugh to stay off CNN

[CedarDave]

Rush has the actual CNN video (with zipper or record scratch) up on his site here:

CNN Paula Promo (high speed modems)

CNN Paula Promo (low speed modems)

[Z-28]

I'm in love with Rosemary Church's dimples :)

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/cnni/church.rosemary.html

[FresnoDA]

BUMP the high speed connection!

[FresnoDA]

If you are lucky, you can have Rosemary's baby!!

[WhatWouldReaganDo]

Reason #12

She has man hands.

[Savage Beast]

Paula annoyed me when she switched over to CNN, and I pretty much wrote her off, but...(I hate to admit this)...(it has absolutely nothing to do with qualifications for being a journalist or a news reporter)...(in fact it's a negative, because it is distracting)...but...she really is sexy.

[unamused]

10. Breast implant surgery for Andrea Thompson

Totally a waste of time; she doesn't need them, you obviously haven't seen the pictures.

9. Throw Mardi Gras beads at Helen Thomas

I Really don't need to see Helen's hooters...

8. Remake “Long Dong Silver” starring Bernie Shaw

Yeah....we could call it "Short stuff"...

7. Schedule John King for that much over due bikini wax

Ughhh!!!

6. "Live Nude Sex Show with Eleanor Clift and Joe Conason"

You need professional help...

5. Replace Crossfire’s Tucker Carlson with Dr Ruth

At least the new host would know something about sex...

4. Replace Crossfire’s Bill Press with a Real Man

Bill Press has a real man waiting at home, between the sheets...

3. "Cross Dressing With Kaplan" starring the Lewinsky dress

But, how could we risk the dress where our President didn't have sex with that woman he blew a load on....

2. Lower studio temperature, call it “CNN Headlights News”

Naaaahh...the libbies would whine we need to raise taxes to turn up the heat, and get black caviar in the green room instead of that red sh!t....

1. Breast reduction surgery for Wolf Blizter

How 'bout we pitch in and buy him a penis...he might start emulating a man...

[Kermit]

Sorry CNN, Naked News is already ahead of you.

Athena King Athena King, age 28, joined Naked News in October, 2001 and reports for both NakedNews.com and Naked News TV! Her classic Greek beauty, dark eyes and sultry smile made her the perfect choice to be a member of the "news program with nothing to hide." She is all woman and brings a real passion to everything that she does. Athena is from Toronto, Ontario, and has also lived in Greece. Ms. King is a professional actress and dancer. She trained at the Canadian Academy of Method Acting and with the Toronto Dance Theatre. She is accomplished in ballet, modern, jazz, hip hop and tap dancing, and performed as a guest dancer for the Jimmy Page/Robert Plant "No Quarter Tour." Between acting assignments, Athena has worked as a waitress, trade show hostess and fitness trainer. She spotted the Naked News ad in Now Magazine, and it wasn't long before her electrifying good looks, grace and natural comfort with nudity earned her a job offer. Athena truly loves dance and is currently studying the ethnic dances of East India, Spain and the Middle East. She enjoys collecting vintage clothing, long walks and trips to Greece. A certified fitness instructor in Aerobic, Aqua and Dancercise, she likes kick boxing, cycling, swimming, roller blading, skating and yoga. Very much a people person, Athena believes that it is important to give back to her community and does volunteer work for a senior citizens organization. Sensual and worldly, Athena is a goddess in the true sense of the word.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Gosh. I'm sorry. hehehe

[TruthWillWin]

RE: Post 62

A Good reason for a comeback of the paper sack.

[JusticeLives]

"Yikes, she has the turkey waddle and feathers and everything. Awk!"

I think she is a he.

[brat]

My God that's nasty! LOL

[brat]

My God that's nasty! LOL

[brat]

Theres no hope! Anyone who thinks the way they do is such a turnoff, that sexy just doesn't come to mind.