Posted on 12/23/2001 6:26:24 AM PST by Mopp4
A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.
"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."
Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post
Given that sentiment, which I assume is a sincere one on your part, I don't think there's much, if any, common ground between us on this particular issue.
My guess is that it would be a waste of time for either of us to try to persuade the other.
We disagree with each other.
Osinski:
If your child was starving, and stealing food was his only means to survive, would you condemn him?
You just defended a rapist.
At first I thought you were being sarcastic. But I read it again and concluded that you actually believe what you wrote.
I can't field a ball batted deep right from shallow left. We'll just have to disagree. (right down to the molecular level I suspect)
We disagree on this. My remarks stand.
I can honestly say that I pity the kid. Losing your life at 15 is not what's 'supposed' to happen.
The soirée with the whore, however, isn't something I would regard as decent, normal or desirable for a dying boy.
I think that in the minds of many a 15yo, sex = love. And it's true, most 15yo boys fall in love with every girl who comes within a one mile radius. But when we're 15 we truly believe it's love, nonetheless. There is probably nothing in the world that can heal the male psyche quite like the warm, naked, coitial embrace of a woman.
What's that song: Sexual Healing?
It was probably the first time he felt truly alive, and he was no doubt very grateful.
However, I believe it immoral and scandalous that adults would go out and get a prostitute for a young man who is on his death bed, or at any time for that matter.
Please don't tell me that the Old Testament is frought with people indulging in sexual pleasures with God smiling down from above.
You may not believe in Jesus, thats your choice, but I believe you do respect the 10 commandments. One of them is "Honor your father and your mother", now if these people had to sneak around mom and dad to get a prostitute, mom and dad probably didn't approve. How is it honoring your father and mother by engaging in such activity?
Or how about "Thou shalt not commit adultery", which the Church understands to encompass the whole of human sexuality.
You will probably reject that as you will reject this from the Catechism: "Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young."
I happen to think that the adults and especially the clergy who condoned and arranged this whole thing will be more responsible than this young man. But I leave the judging up to God.
Its a shame that our over sexed society is getting the better of us. Too bad there wasnt a clergymen who could explain to this young man the value of suffering and the value of presenting himself spotless before God.
Regarding opening the Bible being occultism as you suggest, I learned that from St. Francis of Assissi. He was a great saint of the Catholic Church, had the stigmata of Christ. Interesting fellow.
What would I do if I were in his shoes? Like I said to bigcheese, its a shame that there was not a clergyman available to tell this young man the value of suffering, or the value of giving his virginity back to God.
From a Christian viewpoint I see this whole thing as the continuing sad saga of the protestant revolt.
It'd be interesting to know the ages and occupations of the "friends". The article said he didn't have friends in high school because of his chronic illness. 15 year old friends would likely bring in the class whore not purchase a prostitute. If the friends are adults who interfered in a family they are completely in the wrong. I wouldn't think it was my right to give your 15 year old candy or the keys to my car even if I didn't think those were wrong but you did.
That's the way I feel, I can't blame the dying kid but for other adults to interfere with the rights of his parents is very wrong. We have a society where the family is completely unrespected. The kid's dad can pay his bills but doesn't have a right apparently to guide him morally.
Like it or not this boy was not your child, you were not paying his bills. It is not your right to interfere in someone else's family. He had parents and it was completely up to them to decide moral questions with him. Not you.
If instead of adults who believed that sex with a prostitute was necessary to try before dying, some Christians who believed Baptism was necessary before dying went into his room without the parent's consent and "saved" him, would you approve of that?
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