Bin Laden will be accounted for.
Taxes (total bill, not just fed) will go up.
Gov Don Singleterm (D-Idiot) will lose the Alabama governership. (Halleluah!)
The Republican who replaces him will be either an idiot or a crook, or both. (Can't escape history!)
Pubs will retake the Senate by a small margin.
Lord of the Rings will blow Harry Potter away at the box office. (no, I haven't seen it yet)
Bubba will be Bubba.
Hitlery will be booed.
I will celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary!
Boy, your Christmas 'wish list' isn't very large, is it? Whew!
1) The economy will rebound, albeit slightly. Probably around 2% for the year, although one quarter may be spiked higher due to the way the statistics are compiled.
2) Argentina will become an even bigger mess as no one will bail them out for all their fiscal mismanagement.
3) In the US elections, the Republicans will pick up seven seats in the House of Representatives, largely due to redistricting. Connecticut will be represented by three Republicans and only two Democrats, as Joe Maloney will lose his election to Nancy Johnson (RINO), as they would share districts. Republicans also score key victories in Michigan, Pennsylvania, Texas (somewhat surprisingly), and California, which is thoroughly disgusted with Condit and Davis.
4) The Senate is another story, and Democrats make stunning gains, picking up three Senate seats. Among those defeated are Elizabeth Dole, Tim Hutchinson, Richard Durbin, Bob Smith, and Gordon Smith. Republicans pick up two seats: Tim Johnson of SD and Max Baucus of Montana. Daschle's glee is somewhat muted by Johnson's loss.
5) FBI Agents will thwart a significant terrorist plot, although not a plot like September 11. However, it's still a confidence booster for the population to know the FBI is on the job. New videos of shadowy figures will be speaking Arabic discussing how Allah wants them to blow up a bunch of infidels.
6) The Dow Jones average will close above 11,000 in 2002, a gain of about 10% for the year. The Nasdaq will gain 15% for the year, largely due to the reweighting of the index with more biotech stocks.
7) The Yankees will win the World Series again, and MLB will begin a review of revenue sharing as fan interest and merchandising income starts to drop, although it's only a slight drop.
8) Jim McGreevey will really botch the governship job in NJ, and declare that increased taxes and tolls are necessary. This will further NJ's economic decline, as businesses start relocating to other states.
9) The new government will still be in power in Afghanistan with heavy international support. However, nothing in the country will really work, and the government won't have any power outside of the major cities.
10) Mike Bloomberg will find that running NYC isn't so easy, and the populace will begin to long for Rudy.
And I hope they all come true, by March 2002......... :-)
Dem's will win all the close Senate races in urbanized states, with overall light turnout, but enormous margins in some urban precincts, enabling them to retain control of the Senate. Peter Jennings will announce that the failure to recapture the Senate is a repudiation of President Bush.
Al Hunt will assert in a column that "Everyone now agrees, with the exception of lunatics like Dan Burton, that the Clinton administration was one of the least corrupt in history."
Robert Torricelli is easily reelected to the Senate after a remarkably ineffective and under financed campaign by his GOP opponent.
George Pataki is ousted in an upset win by Andrew Cuomo.
Duke repeats as national champs. (Not exactly out on a limb there either.)
Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is elected Governor of Maryland in a squeaker, benefiting from some suspiciously late returns from Baltimore that just put her over the top.
Japanese economy remains mired in recession as they continue to refuse to cut taxes.
Washington D.C. or Northern VA gets a major league baseball team.
49'ers win the Super Bowl.
Monica Lewinsky will marry for the first time.
Bill Clintoon will have something to file, or need a file for something.
Chelsea Clintoon will record "Blew Toon," (sung to the tune of "Blue Moon") for MTV special.
Chandra Levy will appear as the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Gary Condit will file Libertarian, following a hasty retreat to the Great Lakes or Santa Cruz.
Trent Lott and his wife will rejoin the family salt business, after he steps down as minority leader.
Al Gore will finally learn that Taliban is defeated, and shave beard he was growing for presidential jihad in 2004.
Iran will then invade Saudi Arabia, taking Iraq and Kuwait easily on the way, taking everyone completely by suprise and will be at the Yemeni border within 30 days, (with its million man army, which as been building since the end of the Iran Iraq war).
Iran will then threaten the western world that without an immediate settlement to the Palestinian problem, it will cut the oil off forever.
The USA will cut the money from Israel. Israel will be drawn to the negotiating table or cease to exist. They will offer to withdraw immediately to the pre 1967 borders.
The Palestinians will agree and declare a separate state. Israel will still have its friend the USA and Palestine will have a powerful friend in Iran.
Egypt will be overthrown and a new Islamic government will be installed, with strong allegiance to Iran (keeper of the two most holy Mosques).
Iran will stretch its Islamic influence throughout the Middle East and North Africa, scaring the hell out of the USA. But the US will be unsure of what to do, as any war would mean no more oil.
Pakistan will attack India with the assistance of Iran and will take the northern most part of India in the first 60 days.
And both have sex change operations!
I predict That George W. Bush will be the victim of an unsuccessful assasination attempt, by one of his own Secret Service agents, an Arab-American. Perhaps even the one denied air travel earlier this week.
(This is a work of fiction, any resemblence to actual presons is purely coincidental, any resemblence to Debt of Honor, or Executive Orders is also purely coincidental)...