What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Oh, there's more...
King Arthur was about to go off to war, and he intended to leave the knights of the Round Table at home to defend the kingdom. But, he didn't trust Queen Guinevere, so he went to the royal locksmith to get a chastity belt.
The locksmith said, "I know just the thing" and went into a back room, and returned with a lovely model.
"That won't do!" said the king. "The hole is in the wrong place!"
"No it isn't!" the locksmith answered, "Watch this!" and with that he demonstrated by pushing a stick through the hole. The stick was cut in half by a hidden razor trap.
"Hmmm....said the king. "I like it! I'll take it!" So off he went to the war.
When he returned a few years later, he summoned all the knights of the Round Table to appear before him, and commanded, "Drop trou! Now!"
One after the other, the knights revealed their...er...perfidy, sadly foreshortened, until it became at last, Lancelot's turn. He was revealed to be...intact.
"Why Lancelot!" the king exclaimed, "You, whom I most suspected, are revealed to have been innocent! How could I have doubted you!?"
Lancelot looked at the floor, then at the king, and replied, "Wmmmph, ow uddnt ee oo huick..."