Posted on 12/06/2001 5:57:08 PM PST by JD86
If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)
I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.
I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.
That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.
I'm asking for your suggestions. What would you include in such a checklist?
First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?
Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?
Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?
Also, if you are incapacitated but don't die, what then?
I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?
Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.
My wife and I saw Children of Eden shortly before her unexpected death. I took some solace in a couple lines from that show [click text below for low-bandwidth Win98 mp3/wav excerpt]:
And for a boy who's given me the sweetest love I've knownBTW, in an earlier version of the show, those lines were different (I don't remember exactly what they were). I personally think the earlier lines were better for the show, but for my own life I'm glad Mr. Schwartz made the change.
I wish for him another love, so he won't be alone...
That's a great idea. Your children are fortunate to have you looking out for them that way. I did the same thing with my sons. They would have gotten the income only from the trust at 18...so they could start learning how to handle money and go to school. Then they would have gotten 1/2 of the principal at age 25. I figured they would be getting married, buying a house, starting a business. Something that would need a chunk of cash. But they didn't get the other 1/2 until they were 30...in case they blew the first half. I also explained all of this to my sons and told them there was only so much I could do from the grave and after 30 they were on their own. The staggered distribution is a really good idea. Great job. Thanks for sharing that.
Before utilizing a lawyer, I'll be looking over this material again and will write down every thing that pertains to me and decide what I wish that piece of paper to say. No sense seeing a lawyer until I put all my assets, liabilities, down on paper (computer) and work from there.
Also, will write down all medical options and best way to handle. That's it for starters. Then I'll utilize the internet for guidance. Lastly, I'll yell HELP!!!!!
Before utilizing a lawyer, I'll be looking over this material again and will write down every thing that pertains to me and decide what I wish that piece of paper to say. No sense seeing a lawyer until I put all my assets, liabilities, down on paper (computer) and work from there.
Also, will write down all medical options and best way to handle. That's it for starters. Then I'll utilize the internet for guidance. Lastly, I'll yell HELP!!!!!
I have decided to compile the information and then post it on my profile page. It will probably be January before I get it up...and I will flag everyone who
has made a contribution. That way we can see everything in an organized way. Please let me know if you have any other suggestions.
Ok. I've read this entire thread (am cross-eyed ;-) and only have a couple of things to add:
1. For men who are Vets - Be sure someone contacts the VA for an American flag at your funeral or memorial service. Also, contact the American Legion and they'll provide a team to attend. I just returned from my uncle's memorial and they played taps and had a ___ gun salute! (Can't tell you how many guns because they all shot at the same time.)
2. ASK heirs what things are special to THEM. You might be surprised. (I wanted my dad's bathrobe most of all so I could cuddle in it!)
3. Expect IRS audit(s). My parents owned a company and immediately after Dad's death Mom was audited, his last year of life was audited, and the corporation was audited. It was a nightmare for her!
4. Get multiple copies of the Death Certificate. You'll need one for every transaction involving the estate. (JD86, this was in 1976, so you can correct me if it's now more streamlined.)
This has been extremely enlightening.... Carry on!
JD have you figured out this handle? Have to live in Houston to understand that "humidity" and "Houston" go together like a horse and carriage.
Thank you. What a wonderful idea. By the time you've done all this, we should have all the right questions (and answers) in hand for that visit to our favorite lawyer.
I can read, think, and type, just not all at the same time, especially after Friday afternoon happy hour.
If there is any doubt that the person signing a power of attorney is not of sound mind or if there is even the slightest hint that someone in the future might challenge the person's capacity to sign a power of attorney, then make sure you have at least one disinterested person witness the execution of the document, preferably a nurse, social worker, or other health care professional who has elder care experience.
Make sure the power of attorney gives the attorney-in-fact the power to make gifts.
Make sure you obtain duplicate originals of important estate documents. Your attorney should have one set, but attorneys have been known to move, die, or simply lose documents that they're not supposed to lose. So keep an extra duplicate original in a safe deposit box at a bank, and perhaps a set in a strong box in the basement.
Keep an entire set of all important papers in the same location. Death or incapacity is not the time for a scavanger hunt. And don't forget to tell several people where those papers are located.
Make sure someone else has joint access to your safe deposit box.
Don't mix apples and oranges. When you hire a lawyer, that lawyer has a duty to provide you with independent legal advice. If the lawyer tries to sell you life insurance, elder care insurance, annuities, mutual funds etc, then run for the hills. And if the lawyer aggressively pushes the name of a person who peddles those kinds of products then ask yourself why: Attorneys have been known to have recipical relationships with accountants, insurance sales people, and so-called finacial planners -- a relationship which is often based upon factors other than that person's qualifications.
For 99% of the population, life insurance should be used for one and only one purpose: To provide a finacial cushion for those who survive your death. Life insurance should generally not be used as an investment. Indeed, in my experience the only people who recommend life insurance as an investment are those people who sell life insurance.
Buy low cost term life insurance and not expensive whole life insurance.
Don't call your attorney every day with a single question. Many attorneys work for an hourly fee, billed in 6ths, 10ths, or quarter hour increments. If you call your attorney every day with one question, then the attorney is probably going to charge you at least the minimum billing increment each time you call. If you save all of your questions for a single telephone call, then in many cases the attorney can answer all of your questions within the same minimum billing increment.
Pay your attorney what you have agreed to pay her, rather than trying to haggle the price down after the work is done. Most people don't negotiate doctor's fees or the price of a loaf of bread at the grocery store, and lawyers' fees should not be treated any differently. And before you b*tch about the legal fees, please remember that you went to see the lawyer in the first place because he or she has specialized knowledge that you don't have.
I'm on a roll, but I have to run
Well, in my own defense, if you had read past post #1 you would have learned I have been doing this for a while. The purpose of this post was not for me to learn how to practice law. It was to stimulate discussion among FReepers and share ideas on the practical issues of living and dying. I have learned alot from the posters and I think they have learned alot from each other.
I signed my will yesterday, in a mortuary of all places. They had some interesting views on things as well. They see the things that are left undone.
This is something very interesting that I have learned from you. I had no idea that mortuaries executed wills. I see you are in Arizona. Did the people at the mortuary also write your will? And would you share with us some of the things they say they have seen left undone? I take it from your attitude that those will be anti-attorney comments but if you have specific examples, I can take it and I think the other FReepers would like to know too.
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