Ok. I've read this entire thread (am cross-eyed ;-) and only have a couple of things to add:
1. For men who are Vets - Be sure someone contacts the VA for an American flag at your funeral or memorial service. Also, contact the American Legion and they'll provide a team to attend. I just returned from my uncle's memorial and they played taps and had a ___ gun salute! (Can't tell you how many guns because they all shot at the same time.)
2. ASK heirs what things are special to THEM. You might be surprised. (I wanted my dad's bathrobe most of all so I could cuddle in it!)
3. Expect IRS audit(s). My parents owned a company and immediately after Dad's death Mom was audited, his last year of life was audited, and the corporation was audited. It was a nightmare for her!
4. Get multiple copies of the Death Certificate. You'll need one for every transaction involving the estate. (JD86, this was in 1976, so you can correct me if it's now more streamlined.)
This has been extremely enlightening.... Carry on!