If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

JD86 | 12/06/01 | JD86

[Twins613]

computer passwords

Wow. That's a good one.

Another bump for a thread that's making me rethink a few things :)

[philetus]

My fee is $250.00 hr. for advice.

[Amelia]

My parents asked each of us children to make a list of what "things" we'd most like to inherit, so that they could make sure to leave each of us at least something we really wanted, and prevent fights between us after they are gone.

I think they were a little surprised at what had sentimental value for each of us.

[vita_brevis]

Where I've taken the dry cleaning...

Where I've taken the latest 35mm film to be developed...

Where I keep the safe deposit box key...

[JD86]

Great suggestions. Lots of us are in the position of caring for our parents. That takes a lot of planning. The programmed phone is a great suggestion. Thanks.

[deadhead]

The reason that this came to my mind was because when my Mom passed away, my Step-Dad had no idea where the key was. We were all emotional wrecks from the loss of my Mom and now we had to find a key. My sister, who has always had the knack of finding things finally found the key. My Step-Dad was then able to open the box. You have given good advice, take heed all!!

[JD86]

Great point. How about your Free Republic screen name and password, so they could tell your friends here?

[ZDaphne]

Regarding the post from Ms. Marple re: heirlooms. I am making sure that the heirlooms left to me by my mother go to my blood relatives and not inlaws. As a result, I am adding a codicil listing each item and who it goes to "as his/her sole and separate property" -- thus circumventing the community property pitfall. This will protect the property, should your heir predecease his or her mate, if you also state who should get the heirloom(s) if your heir is not living at the time of your death.

[JD86]

Thanks, that's a great outline.

[Elihu Burritt]

The name of an experienced estate planner who knows what they are doing. Better yet, a competent insurance agent.

[zip]

BTW, this is an excellent post. It is very valuable to all of us. Thanks

[JD86]

Thanks.

[VA Advogado]

Great point. How about your Free Republic screen name and password, so they could tell your friends here?

I like that idea. :)

[lawgirl]

Hello Fellow Legal Freeper Eagle. (I am JD00).

One thing I have found is that people need to write down "I want so and so to have XYZ"- there are a lot of personal things people don't put in their will but are thinking in the back of their head "Hmm when I go I want Jenny to have that opal ring my grandma gave me" and they never tell Jenny about it. I realize that it won't be actionable if it's not in the will or codicil, but still convenient for all family members, even those that get along. An item from Grandma is going to mean more if you knew she wanted you to have it. And it can help stop a fight.

[DonQ]

As a lawyer myself, and having had to arrange for my parents' funerals and distribution, I have had a little experience in this sort of thing. The individual should, of course, have a will, up to date. ... and, very important, a number of trustworthy people should know where it is. I have a long story of an ugly family fight over an apparent intestate whose will was finally found - it had been done up ten years earlier, and was in the files of his retired (and deceased) lawyer, and finally found by the lawyer's widow ... after the estate had been frittered away in litigation and the remnant distributed by formula. I have recommended that people have multiple effective copies of their will - meaning making multiple copies before signing and then signing and witnessing each copy and then putting different copies in different safe places (the primary heir is usually a good choice) -- if he should change his mind, the dates on competing documents should be sufficiently dispositive.

If not in the will, or even additional to the will, there should be a clear specification of every bank account, stock portfolio, retirement/pension fund (including the govt ones, like military or veterans benefits), safe deposit box, storage locker, boat at the marina, cabin in the mountains, burial plot (including deeds in his possession of burial plots for ancestors and other relatives), insurance policies, and other important caches and documents (and keys). A list also of whatever in the house that he didn't own but leased or rented (e.g., my parents didn't own their clothes dryer ... it was leased from the gas company), so it's not sold or given away by mistake.

The will is frequently not read, or at least not read closely, until days after the death. So burial plans (including info on any prepaid funeral plans or burial plots), funeral plans, etc. should be a separate document ... readily available to the nearest family (presumably among the deceased's immediate possessions when he dies); this is a different situation than the will or financial data, as it is uncommon for funeral plans to be fudged by greedy relatives. Any directions for organ donations should be even more immediately available as the organs must be harvested (god how I hate that expression) immediately upon death. Also a list of people to be notified - this list should also be readily accessible, and should include full name, address, phone numbers, and maybe even a notation of how they are connected to the decedent (it might be a non-relative, even a total stranger, having to call family members and tell them about the death, funeral, or inheritance). I also recommend including the address and phone number in bequests in the will, to facilitate things even though those details might change over the years.

It's important to make sure that a number of trustworthy people, and not only relatives, but the lawyer, accountant, etc., know something ... at least where the will and the other documents are to be found. Unfortunately too many people either don't tell someone, or tell one person who turns out to be unavailable (or old/sick/senile) at the time of their death.

Although it might not be part of the legal work, it might be nice if a person contemplating his/her death wrote out or at least taped - while their handwriting was still legible and their minds still lucid - some family history, maybe some details about heirlooms and prized possessions, and some biographical data. Also mark up the photos in the photo album with all the info about who/when/where. When my mother died, I realized that I knew almost zero about her father, nor the birthdates/places of either of her parents or anything about their ancestors, nor whether there were any relatives on her father's side anywhere in the world; and, of course, it is now absolutely impossible to get those answers.

Good luck.

[reaganite]

"My fee is $250.00 hr. for advice." LOL! It is ironic that a lawyer is soliciting "free" advice. No matter how well-intentioned our freeper-lawyer is, we know he's charging the "clients" for this advice. Ha! (Hey, a fella's got to make a living.)

[t4texas]

Beware of the "I love you" will. There are many of these around and until one spouse or the other dies they are fine (with the possible exception of failing to utilize a marital deduction trust.) These wills are where each spouse leaves everything to the other spouse. However, when one or the other dies the survivor should draw a new will to designate new beneficiaries. Failing to do so is very like having no will at all.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

I've always told anyone that if I die, notify the VA.
They used to guarantee you a free burial if you were a Vet, but I think they took that promise away.

[VA Advogado]

BTW, this is an excellent post. It is very valuable to all of us. Thanks

This is definately bookmark material. To bookmark, CLICK HERE.

[JD86]

Another good point about this is that the funeral arrangements should be known to family members and kept somewhere other than in the will. It would really be bad if they buried you and then read the will where you said you wanted to be cremated and your ashes spread at a favorite location. Bummer.