If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

JD86 | 12/06/01 | JD86

[JD86]

If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.

I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.

That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.

I'm asking for your suggestions. What would you include in such a checklist?

First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?

Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?

Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?

Also, if you are incapacitated but don't die, what then?

I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?

Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.

[VA Advogado]

I've never understood the safe deposit box thing. For what you would pay over the life of the time you rent one, you could get a nice fire proof safe and install it in your house.

[The Raven]

What would you include in such a checklist? Assets change as do life insurance policies...I don't run out and change the will.....How about where the life insurance policies are.

[southland]

I would suggest a power of Attorney in the event you are incapicated . Give him power to buy and sell stocks and even your home if money is needed for medical or otherwise. I fear incapacitation more than death. Be sure to consider a living will to tell them when to turn off the machines, I have seen older people and also young people who would not exist but or the man made machines, Doctors can't make decisions like that and there is greed that may influence keeping the machines on. Make sure all children are accounted for in the will. Don't let anyone be bitter when you are gone and can not do anything about it.

[The Raven]

Desires regarding burial

[JD86]

Thanks, Miss Marple. My post has two intentions. To get Freepers to think about the issue for themselves as you are doing...and for suggestions for me. Lots of great ideas so far.

[The Raven]

combo for the safe.

[summer]

bttt. Great post, JD86! :)

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

I am single,and care for an elderly parent.I have all of his medications inside the kitchen cabinet,as well as what to do in case of accidental overdose.If I am not at home, and he should become stricken,there is a walk around phone in every room,and all he need do is punch #4.I have a copy of his will in my safe deposit box,and he has the original in his.

[VA Advogado]

You have reminded me that my husband doen't really have a clue about my accounting system for my very small antique business. I am going to write out an explanation so that he doesn't have to mess with it if something should happen.

You make a great point about antiques. My friend's dad was a collector and literally had a million dollar estate. To most people, the stuff just looked like old things scattered throughout the house. It took my friend 2 years to inventory and photograph everything that was in the house. The biggest problem he said was he didn't know whether that wooden dish was dimestore junk or a $500 collectors item, so he had to catalog EVERYTHING.

[The Raven]

computer passwords

[RnMomof7]

Insurance policies,401K information, savings/investment statements,papers about death benefits or survivor benefits from work (including the contact people,)adoption papers ,will, deed to property,proof of ownership for boats,autos etc, attorneys name and #,burial plans request..If there is no close family..names and addresses of next of kin..

[Helix]

I think you should mention that in some(all?) states, even a joint account can be frozen, denying access to funds by the survivor, unless it is joint with right of survivorship. Also, a power of attourney for BOTH financial and health care are good to have in case a family member becomes mentally disabled. That way you can avoid a guardianship hearing.

[zip]

1)List of advisors and contact information. (atty, cpa, etc)
2)Personal documents (marriage license, military discharge, etc)
3)Financial documents (deeds, investment accounts, debts)
4)Estate documents (will, durable power of atty, living will)
5)Final Arrangements (funeral, special donations, people to notify)

I know there are many FReepers that have more detailed suggestions but these may help get them started.

[VA Advogado]

If there is no close family..names and addresses of next of kin..

And if you're Bill Clinton . . . names of all children, claimed and unclaimed. :)

[bluesagewoman]

FreepMail w/my reply. Good Luck to you.

[kstewskis]

If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today?

Where is the key to the safe deposit box at the bank?

Most importantly, empty out the safety deposit out immediately before they find out the box owner/renter is deceased. The bank can put a hold on the box immediately if they find out the box renter is dead. (this happened when my dad passed away, and really gave my mom grief, even though her name was on the account). It was a real pain to get things sorted out. This should be one of the very first things you should do, once you find that key.

[slouch-no-more]

I would also suggest that funeral plans be discussed in advance with family members and that those plans be clearly documented. This really saves time and makes things easier for the family in those few days immediately following the loss of a loved one.

[SmartBlonde]

This is an excellent service you are providing your clients.

1. If your clients are ill, elderly or travel a lot (upping the possibility of an accident), tell them to destroy any personal letters or photos they don't want strangers to see. For example, a client told me his mother died, then his father died a year later. When the client went to empty out the house, he found 'suggestive' (his word) photos of his Mom and Dad, and some 'steamy' love letters. He said: 'I am not a prude and I've written some of those myself - and there's probably a picture or two around - but I don't want to see my parents like this'.

2. Funeral arrangements. If they are not religious and have no 'home church', ask them to name a person to conduct the service. Do they want a burial or cremation?

3. Leave a note for the family describing unusual circumstances. A close friend's father (a well known physician) died. The two children were planning the funeral when the family lawyer came forward with the dad's will - he had left his body to his medical school for 'scientific study'. The two children were appalled. While the father, of course, had the right to his decision, it would have helped to leave a note explaining his decision.

4. If the client is divorced, should arrangements be made to notify the former spouse upon the client's death?

5. Are there large outstanding debts? A former client died, and THEN the family found out there was a big IOU to a former business partner - a 'demand note'. He had kept this IOU a secret from his family and advisors - and put the estate in turmoil for a long time.

[Iowa Granny]

A very important thing to include: Names, addresses, and all vital info related to those you have loaned money to...and the terms of those loans.

[fleebag]

Just having a key to the SDB won't get you in it. The holder of a key must also be listed on the card with signature.