If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

JD86 | 12/06/01 | JD86

[JD86]

If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.

I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.

That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.

I'm asking for your suggestions. What would you include in such a checklist?

First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?

Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?

Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?

Also, if you are incapacitated but don't die, what then?

I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?

Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.

[zip]

!!!! I was hoping with the new laws allowing the FBI to eavesdrop on the web that someone would finally be reading my posts.

Now THAT'S funny.

[zip]

Do them a real favor and tell them the truth: Tell them no matter what they do they are going to need a stinking attorney who will probably charge at least $145 an hour, never return your calls and will end up with more than the heirs. Also tell them that you are a very nice guy right now but when it comes time for you to handle the estate, you are going to be that above attorney....... 304 posted on 12/7/01 12:52 PM Pacific by zcat

Those comments were totally uncalled for. If you had a bad experience with an attorney, take it out on them, don't paint the profession with that brush. I think an apology is in order to JD86 and all FReepers that have contributed to this thread.

[zip]

My pleasure. This is an important thread ! You are the one who has done a great service for those of us on FR

Ditto to nopardons comment. (thx nopardons)

[screed]

Sorry, DD-214 is basically a military discharge paper. Proof that you served, record of where you were and when, what medals you earned, etc. If you were to keep only one paper of your entire involvement with the military, this would be the one.

[JD86]

Thanks for the clarification. I guessed that DD meant Defense Department but I wasn't sure which form that was. The vets know...but their families might not...
so that is great information. Thanks alot.

[VA Advogado]

Thanks to you JD. And of course to Larry for providing his usual humor.

[supercat]

Even if you have just regular letters from your Mom, I would recommend you hold onto them. This summer I was sorting and throwing things away...and found a letter my grandfather had written to me at my first apartment when I was 21. He has been gone for 29 years now....but just seeing his handwriting again and remembering when I received that letter...it was like yesterday. Memories are forever.

When my wife died, before I cancelled her Primeco account, I recorded a copy of her voicemail greeting (Win98 MP3/wav). Wish I could have saved the messages she left for me, but I didn't.

[JD86]

Speaking of Larry....we are past 300 posts...doesn't he owe the FReepers two jokes?

[zip]

hanks to you JD. And of course to Larry for providing his usual humor

Hey LarryLied, I'm still waiting for joke @200 and joke @300. JD86, make him come up with 2.

[freekitty]

I know in the insurance world(and it's been a long time)there is a telephone number(I am sorry, I don't remember it)that you can call that lists information concerning life insurance policies in effect. Maybe another Freeper will know what it is.

[JD86]

What a wonderful idea...and how sweet of you to share that with everyone. I know I have about 10 messages on my answering machine I never erase. They all start out "Hi, Grandmother, this is Catie"....when she was 2 and 3 and so on. She is 9 now and it embarrasses her that I have recordings of her in her "baby voice"...but I keep them anyway...:) Thank you for sharing your memory.

[freekitty]

That is a problem, because a lot of relatives don't follow the wishes(will)of the deceased.

[JD86]

memories that are gone forever.

the film is gone, the memories are forever...:)

[JD86]

Okay, let me weigh in on the cost issue. Let me ask a question....if you had died yesterday...and your paperwork was not in order, what would you pay to come back for one day and get it done? That is called perspective.

Another thing...and this is a trade secret so I will probably hear from the lawyers on this one....but...if you have a simple estate, not necessarily small, but simple...and if you have the paperwork in order before hand...the will, etc. properly drawn up by an attorney...you can probably handle probate by yourself...but don't dare quote me...:) The truth is the way lawyers learn to do probate is by going to the courthouse and asking the clerk for the forms, then filling them out, and taking them back. I promise you that a good court clerk knows as much or more than the attorney and sometimes as much as the Judge....just because they have been doing it for years and years and years. So, get things in order, spring for the fee to get a competent attorney to write the will and then quit worrying...and enjoy your life. When the time comes, then you can decide if you want to handle the estate on your own or hire an attorney. Don't cheat your family on something this important. Hope that helps. nomasmojarras has already told you it is worth a bundle just not to worry about it....it is done. Take her advice.

One more thing, don't ask your court clerk legal questions. She is not allowed to answer them...she is not a lawyer...but she can give you the forms.

[supercat]

That is sweet, but I miss the films!!!! (waaaahhhhhh!)

Super-8's are wonderful, aren't they? There's just a magical feeling one gets from threading a projector and rolling the film which one just doesn't get from plopping in a cassette and hitting "play". I have video transfers of my mother-in-law's home movies (about 5 hours) but I hope nothing happens to the originals. Here's a clip from one of them; Dawn Elizabeth was about 8 and dressed up for Easter. Wish I had a better way to convert to .gif, though--the file size is huge and the quality is pretty crummy.

[Gracey]

Check this out. Important data here!!!