Come on everyone! We can help BAC put this whole thing behind him once and for all!
Roooooon Brown.........Roooooooooon Brown............can you hear meeeeeeeee??????????
Posted on 12/05/2001 11:37:52 AM PST by Silly
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
WASHINGTON, 5 Dec (SP) - An American lawyer fed up with the planet of Earth and everyone on it, and who has failed to achieve a single tangible goal that has any practical value in the course of his entire legal career, has filed a unprecedented lawsuit suit today against Earth and its immediate planetary system entitled, "Stop The World, I Want To Get Off."
Larry Klayman, president, founder and perpetuator extraordinaire of one of the longest running jokes in the history of law -- Judicial Watch -- has decided to end his career in comedy, throw in the towel, and storm out of the universe as soon as he can think of a witty exiting line.
The complaint, broadcast to the world over the Internet -- and to the known universe via satellite -- took the form of a videotaped rant in which Klayman stomped his feet, waved his arms about and cried, "Nobody likes me," on the steps of the Supreme Court.
At attempt was made to locate Klayman's attorney, a Hugh Foole, Esq., for comment, but apparently Klayman is representing himself in this matter.
Mel Brooks and Susan Stroman expressed an interest in the rights to the Broadway musical version of the lawsuit, under the working title, "Autumn for Klayman: A Nasty Romp with Larry on Pennsylvania Avenue." For purposes of historical accuracy, however, the show would have to go ahead as a tragic play, not a musical comedy, as Mr. Klayman was never known to have a sense of humor and couldn't carry a tune. The show was to have been a sequel to an off-off-Broadway show about Larry Klayman's lawsuit against his mother, entitled, "Throw Momma From The Hospital Bed."
In an unrelated lawsuit, evildoer Osama bin Laden has filed a countersuit against Larry Klayman, for "acts of passive hostility and derision" which occurred in another legal brief Klayman filed recently. Bin Laden accuses Klayman of "butchering" the spelling of his name as "Oussama Ben Laden," inappropriate capitalization of his middle name in the middle of a sentence, failure to capitalize "Taliban" and "Islamist," excessive use of vowels, and use of an umlaut in "Al-Qaïda." Klayman refuses to take the counter claim seriously, on the grounds that it is "nitpicking."
Klayman's wife has filed a lawsuit of her own, one that is contingent on Klayman's departure from the World (either by a legal victory in his own case or by other means), entitled, "Stop The World, I Want To Get On." Mrs. Klayman has previously denied that she is merely a convenient beard for Mr. Klayman's alleged flamboyant homosexual lifestyle.
Former President Bill Clinton filed a mildly funny "what-about-me" brief called, "Start The Foreplay, I Want To Get Off." It was dismissed in court as a nuisance vanity suit.
Journalist Barbara Walters has filed an unrelated suit entitled, "Stop The World And Wait While I Run Into Bergdorf Goodman To Return Shoes -- It Won't Take More Than Two Minutes, I Promise." An unnamed associate of Ms. Walters is whispering that the shoes are a pair of never-worn Ferragamo mules two seasons old (but with a receipt) in periwinkle blue calfskin and loden trim in the original box. Ms. Walters is a size 7.
In a recent interview with Ms. Walters on ABC's 20/20, Klayman was asked whether he wouldn't find it more practical to simply put a bullet into his own head. He replied, "I hadn't thought of that." He called ABC again just before the segment was broadcast to say that he had been unsuccessful in obtaining a gun permit. The lawsuit stands.
We all know little Billy Clinton grew up to be a passive-aggressive owing to his dysfunctional childhood, learned to scheme and swindle, married Hitlery on account she had the balls that he never would have as well and she proceeded to ride him to the top -
- but the PROBLEM is getting hard, cold evidence that is presentable in a court of law on this scum.
You know, the kind of hard, cold, evidence like audio tapes, video tapes of meetings replete with condemning conversations, signed documents with HIS or HER signature on them, perhaps even a gun with HIS or HER fingerprints CLEARLY identifiable - THAT sort of thing.
Without that kind of solid evidence - we're pretty well hosed ... and Vince Foster's death and Ron Brown's death will go pretty much un-avenged IN THIS LIFE.
No. I'd just like Bush to look into it. Say ... are you still PRETENDING to be conservative?
But you can't do that UNLESS you investigate ... can you? Why is it that NONE of you can point to ANYTHING that the Bush administration has done that suggests they have or are investigating the matters I named?
You know, the kind of hard, cold, evidence like audio tapes, video tapes of meetings replete with condemning conversations, signed documents with HIS or HER signature on them, perhaps even a gun with HIS or HER fingerprints CLEARLY identifiable - THAT sort of thing.
How about an autopsy of Ron Brown's body? After all, we have the statements of the pathologists in that matter that it looked like he was shot and he should have been autopsied. We have photos of the wound and head x-rays would seem to cooberate that possibility. The body is still there. Exhume it and do an autopsy and if you find a bullet or an exit wound and metal fragment (which the x-ray appeared to show), then you CLEARLY have a murder (MASS MURDER, actually) AND you CLEARLY have a coverup involving named military at AFIP, on the Accident Investigation Board, in the Whitehouse, at the Joint Chiefs of Staff, at the Commerce Department, in the State Department and in the media. Someone would break. Is that "hard" enough for you?
83 posted on 12/9/01 4:10 PM Pacific by BeAChooser
You must be more observant than I am, since I haven't noticed who shows up "where". Sometimes I will show up when flagged.
Ooooohooo yes, I'm the great PRETENDER.
You failed to post the list of cases won by Klayman. I think you're getting sloppy.
But you can't do that UNLESS you investigate ... can you?Here are your options, in order, at this point (since ALL the evidence has been flushed, brushed, burned, churned or otherwise DESTROYED as the Xlintoons, Mr. and Mrs. Beelzebubba, X-42 and appendage are NOT STUPID):
- Fergit it.
- Appeal directly to GOD.
- Fergit it.
What corrupt Republicans. The charges were all false.
Most of Klayman's attacks on President Bush have nothing to do with corruption, such as his press release blaming the 9/11 attacks on President Bush because he had spent too much time on budget, tax and education issues instead of making defense against terrorists the first priority of his administration.
Perhaps you are talking about the traditional tea that the incoming and outgoing first ladies have? Is that your idea of corruption?
Experience indicates two things.
He probably will.
It's nothing to worry about.
And you failed to post ONE example of Bush/Ashcroft doing ANYTHING to investigate or prosecute the crimes that were committed by the DNC and Clinton administration the last 8 years ... you know ... Chinagate, Emailgate, Filegate, the death of Brown, the death of Foster, the Riady non-refund, election tampering, etc. etc. etc. Now Klayman couldn't do anything about them except help expose them, could he? The truth is that DOING SOMETHING is the DOJ's job. Right?
And, by the way, you failed to address the statements of the pathologists and photographer in the Ron Brown case, as well as the photographic evidence, that suggest a bullet wound.
The only thing of NOTE I notice is that you, BAC, happen to be on every one of them.
Another clear LIE ... partly due to Klayman's efforts at getting to the facts in matters like Filegate BEFORE they could destroy everything and plead ignorance or loss of memory. BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, Ron Brown's body is still there and even after 6 years, if he was shot, forensic pathologists will be able to tell. The pathologists and photographer who witnessed the coverup are still alive and willing to testify as to what they observed in the way of a coverup. The photos of the wound and x-ray still exist. The people who took part in the coverup are still alive (Gormley, Dickerson, Sentell, Junger, etc. etc. etc) and VERY vulnerable to prosecution for the lies they told in official reports and to the public about the case. They can STILL be charged with covering up a mass murder and THAT might induce some of them to spill the beans about who ordered it.
You and the rest of the "move-on'ers" are SPINNING _Jim, RUNNING desperately from the FACT that the Ron Brown case could be what finally starts the DNC house of cards falling. There is NO statute of limitations on a murder or covering up a murder, we don't have to know WHO actually committed the murder to use it ... only that a murder occurred and was covered up, it cannot be SPUN (its not about "sex") and it clearly points to Whitehouse involvement and TREASON as the motive. You are dreaming if you think we will "fergit it".
That might produce a backlash . .
A- The Lions have cleaner briefs.
Come on everyone! We can help BAC put this whole thing behind him once and for all!
Roooooon Brown.........Roooooooooon Brown............can you hear meeeeeeeee??????????
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