I Was A Commie Writer!!!

Self (Shameless Vanity Post) | December 4, 2001 | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Sorry for the shameless vanity post but I was just reminiscing with someone about the time I was a COMMIE writer and it brought back a lot of memories. So was it during a period when I was some sort of wild-eyed liberal? No. Actually I was just as conservative then as I am now. So how did I manage to be a COMMIE writer?

More precisely, I was a writer for a COMMIE magazine (it had Lenin's seal in it). Or to put it more accurately it was officially a Commie magazine although almost none of the writers were really commies (although officially they had to be). The magazine was Krokodil Magazine which was the largest circulation magazine (10+ million) in the old Soviet Union. Krokodil was a humor magazine and they were able to get away with a bit more in the way of criticising their system than the other magazines. Also this was on the tail end of the Evil Empire so their critiques of Soviet life were more biting than in previous years.

Mr. Leonid Florentiev (who really hated the Soviet system with a passion) was their Foreign Editor and it was he who made Yours Truly the American Correspondent for Krokodil. I will provide more details about this strange episode in my checkered career in the near future. However, it sure was nice to know at the time that I had over 10 million readers looking at my stuff. (The pay stunk since a ruble back then was worth nothing----However, 5386 rubles were also worth nothing.)

[PJ-Comix]

I hope to have an article about my Krokodil experiences published in the near future. I even won some sort of Lenin Writing Achievement award from Krokodil which was announced to me when some of the Krokodil staffers (including Florentiev) visited the USA. You will also be amused by Florentiev's confrontation with a group of liberals at UCLA. All to be chronicled in the article.

[LarryLied]

Did they make you join a union?

[Fred Mertz]

Did you have to eat cabbage too?

[cynicom]

Paid you in vodka, huh???

[Kermit the Frog Does theWatusi]

Why don't you resurrect Krokodil in English form as an American version to continue ridiculing and satirizing totalitarian culture and ideology? We could use the laughs!

[PJ-Comix]

Did they make you join a union?

Nope. Not even the Soviet UNION. BTW, the hilarious thing is that the Krokodil staffers visiting the USA were more politically conservative than their American audience at UCLA. I'll have more details about this confrontation in my article. Also I am trying to find Leonid Florentiev. I haven't been able to track him down. He was a hell of a nice guy (and had the great wisdom to make Yours Truly the Krokodil American correspondent).

I'll will be back later for more replies. I have to take off right now.

[alcuin]

The magazine was Krokodil Magazine which was the largest circulation magazine (10+ million) in the old Soviet Union.

I remember reading stuff from it, here and there.

Interesting post.

FR!

[PJ-Comix]

What does that look like?

Like a short-toothed Walrus. Seriously, it was a profile drawing of Lenin with Hammer & Sickle and some Commie stuff written on it.

[Joe Driscoll]

Somebody check PJ's garage.

[PJ-Comix]

I'll see if I can dig up a copy of Krokodil and scan it to post here. I gotta go now.

[LurkedLongEnough]

Here's the latest picture of Lenin I could find:

[Clemenza]

I'm sure it was wonderful. This half-Polish American can tell you from first hand experience that most Eastern Europeans have a wonderfully dark sense of humor, Russians included.

[PJ-Comix]

Here is the cover from a 1965 edition of Krokodil. Sadly, Krokodil is no more. I wonder if there is a similar type of humor magazine in Russia nowadays?

[xm177e2]

I hope to have an article about my Krokodil experiences published in the near future

That sounds fascinating

[Senator Pardek]

"If somebody asks me, say: 'there is no God.'" (God is watching a hockey game on TV)

[PJ-Comix]

When the Krokodil staffers visited the USA in 1989, one of the people they saw at UCLA at the humor conference was George Carlin. Carlin was the featured American speaker. I don't think the Krokodil folks knew who he was. Anyway, I was nervously sitting in the audience, waiting to meet Mr. Florentiev and the other Russians (and an Estonian). After the conference was over (with me still sitting humbly in the audience) they all met out in the lobby. When Mr. Florentiev found out who I was (after a false start to be described later) he shouted out for all the Krokodil staffers to gather around me, leaving George Carlin in their wake. Apparently my writings were very popular in Russia (I heard that the Politburo folks read them so it was nice to know Gorby read my stuff). The strange thing is that George Carlin was part of the crowd that gathered around me as I launched into some funny stories (having quickly shed the timidity I felt earlier). The best part of the evening was talking to Leonid Florentiev and the other Krokodil staffers (plus the Estonian from his own humor magazine). Carlin came over and talked to me as well, probably wondering what the hell was going on. Also on hand was Robert Easton, the comedy actor who does great hillbilly accents (I discussed "The Loved One" with him since it is one of my favorite movies). Another humorist was there as well. It was the guy who was the cousin of a former senator from Oklahoma. Can one of you Okies out there help me in recalling his name?

Anyway, there was much MUCH more to that incredible evening and my experiences with Krokodil.

Yes, it sure did go to my head but I was quickly brought back to earth the next time I had to deal with American editors whose normal mode was to treat me like dirt.

P.S. I would love to get in touch with George Carlin (great guy) to see what he remembers from that incredible evening.

[christianswindler]

From the title, I was afraid that this was going to be another Horowitz confession.

[PJ-Comix]

From the title, I was afraid that this was going to be another Horowitz confession.

Well, I was a liberal writer when I was in High School. Hopefully all of my writings from then have been burned.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

He ate chocolate cheese mousse.