List of "Tired" Christmas Music (That Should Be Retired)

Self (Vanity)

[SamAdams76]

The Christmas season is upon us once again and the sounds of holiday music can be heard in shopping malls, restaurants, and other public places. Radio stations are already slipping the occasional Christmas song into their playlists and by mid-December, it will be wall-to-wall Christmas music.

Now that is not a bad thing. I like Christmas music. I collect Christmas music. Later in the Christmas season, I will post a vanity on my favorite Christmas music and that post promises to be much longer than this one.

But why is it that so many tired and really annoying Christmas songs seem to get the most airplay? Is it just me or does it seem like the radio stations play the same few Christmas songs 90% of the time?

On this thread, I will list some of my least favorite or more accurately, the most tired Christmas songs of alltime and will seek your input. I put a lot of thought into putting this list together. You are welcome to disagree with me and/or list a few really tired Christmas songs of your own.

Surely there are worse Christmas songs out there than the ones I am about to list. But I kept my list to songs that are familiar and that get a lot of airplay. The emphasis here on on "tired" rather than "bad." Also, to make my list, the song must have been out for at least five years. These songs have established some longevity of being really tired. I am listing the ones that have been "in our face" year after year. Without so much great material out there (I'll have a separate post on that closer to Christmas), there is no excuse for radio stations not to pursue fresher material.

So in no particular order, here goes...the most "tired" Christmas songs of alltime.

• Elmo & Patsy - Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Now I'm not normally a violent person. But if somebody was to shoot the person who wrote this song, it would be okay by me. This has got to be absolutely the most annoying Christmas Song I have ever heard. It stopped being funny sometime around 1984. Yet year after year, radio stations seem to play it at least once every hour. Many a Christmas compilation album has been ruined for me by the inclusion of this tired ditty.
  

• Adam Sandler - The Chanukah Song. Okay, maybe it was funny the first 232 times I heard it. But this song has really run its course and it should be retired. And to add insult to injury, Sandler released a "sequel" version of this song a few years ago but it already seems like 20 years ago. It's just not "funakah" to hear this anymore.
  

• The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping. Many, many years ago, back when Ronald Reagan used to refer to Russia as the "Evil Empire," it was cool to play this record at Christmas. It was cutting edge and having this song in your Christmas collection separated you from the Perry Como and Bing Crosby crowd. Well it's not cutting edge, cool or "New Wave" anymore. It's as mainstream as Garth Brooks and as dull as Peter Jennings. Give this record a rest, please.
  

• Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad. Must be a "PC" thing because the song itself is lame. Okay, okay, so it's politically correct to be "diverse" and know "Merry Christmas" in 17 different languages. So Buon Natale to you then, I am putting a contract out on this record. I am going to have it inserted into a block of wet cement and send it to the bottom of Boston Harbor. At least the Italians know what to do when something becomes tired and no longer "useful." Time for some new Christmas material from Mexico, and fast.
  

• Cheech & Chong - Santa And His Old Lady. Cheech: "Like I PLAYED with that dude, man." Chong: "Whoa, like Santa Claus ain't no musician, man!" Cheech: "I'm hip, man, like that dude couldn't play for beans, man!" Well I'm hip to Cheech & Chong. They can't play for beans and they aren't funny anymore to boot. Were these guys EVER funny? Must have been a 70s thing.
  

• Band-Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas? Not only was this song a blatant rip-off of "We Are The World" (or maybe it was vice versa) but the question the song poses is ridiculous. Of course they don't know it's Christmas, and they probably couldn't give a shit either. Until this year, did we ever know it was Ramadan over there? And that "Feed The World" chorus, well, here it is 15 years later and the people are still starving over there. Guess it makes liberals feel good to sing the song though. Like the next one on my list...
  

• John & Yoko - Happy Xmas (War Is Over). Maybe it's the spelling of Christmas that irks me most about this record. Didn't this song start the whole loathsome "Xmas" thing? Anyway, you can be sure that this song will get even heavier airplay this Christmas season in light of the current war situation. But I'm so tired of this song already!
  

• Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Okay, I like Bruce Springsteen. But I still think he could have picked a better Christmas song to cover. Or even have done an original. Anyway, I was already tired of this song by 1979.

I could think of a few more but I'm going to let my fellow Freepers get a crack at adding to the list of "tired" Christmas music.

[Tennessee_Bob]

Bonanza

We chased lady luck, 'til we finally struck Bonanza.
With a gun and a rope and a hat full of hope, planted a family tree.  We got hold of a pot of gold, Bonanza.
With a horse and a saddle, and a range full of cattle, how rich can a fellow be?

On this land we put our brand, Cartwright is the name, fortune smiled, the day we filed the Ponderosa claim.
Here in the West, we're livin' the best, Bonanza, if anyone fights any one of us, he's go a fight with me, Bonanza.

Hoss and Joe and Adam know every rock and pine, no one works, fights, or eats, like those boys of mine.  Here we stand in the middle of a grand Bonanza.
With a gun and a rope and a hatful of hope, we planted our family tree, we got hold of a potful of gold, Bonanza.

With a houseful of friends where the rainbow ends, how rich can a fellow be?
On this land we put our brand, Cartwright is the name, fortune smiled, the day we filed the Ponderosa claim.  Here in the west we're livin' the best Bonanza.

With the friendliest, fightingist, loving band, that ever set foot in the promised land, and we're happier than them all.
That's why we call it Bonanza...Bonanza...Bonanza...

Lyrics written by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans.

Or the second VersionThe Ill-Fated Bonanza Lyrics For The Pilot

(Little Joe solo) I've got a flair for women everywhere---Bonanza!
(Hoss solo) Bonanza! (Barks and howls)
(All three) I'm not afraid of any pretty maid--Bonanza! Bonanza!
But when I give a kiss to any little miss, She'll learn a lot from me

(Ben solo) I'm not afraid of any pretty maid--Bonanza!
(All three) Bonanza!
When I give a kiss to any little miss
She'll learn a lot from me
Hair of brown, hair of gold
I'll take what I see

We're not a one to saddle up and run--Bonanza! Bonanza!
Anyone of us who starts a little fuss
Knows he can count on me
One for four, four for all
This we guarantee

We got a right to pick a little fight--Bonanza! Bonanza!
If anyone fights any one of us
He's gotta fight with me!

 

[katnip]

My favorite Christmas song is "Have You Seen the Light".

I don't think I've heard that. Do you know who sings it? Thanks.

[VermiciousKnid]

I'll see your Gilligan's Island theme (both the opening and closing verses), and raise you by a round of the theme from F-Troop.

Now, that's some useless information!

Regards,

PS: I don't know if anyone else has answered, but I believe George Jetson worked for Spacely Sprockets.

[Tony in Hawaii]

This is from www.snopes.com:

Claim:   'Xmas' is a modern, disrespectful abbreviation of the word 'Christmas.'

Status:   False.

Origins:   The abbreviation of 'Xmas' for 'Christmas' is neither modern nor disrespectful. The notion that it is a new and vulgar representation of the word 'Christmas' seems to stem from the erroneous belief that the letter 'X' is used to stand for the word 'Christ' because of its resemblance to a cross, or that the abbreviation was deliberately concocted "to take the 'Christ' out of Christmas." Actually, this usage is nearly as old as Christianity itself, and its origins lie in the fact that the first letter in the Greek word for 'Christ' is 'chi,' and the Greek letter 'chi' is represented by a symbol similar to the letter 'X' in the modern Roman alphabet. Hence 'Xmas' is indeed perfectly legitimate abbreviation for the word 'Christmas' (just as 'Xian' is also sometimes used as an abbreviation of the word 'Christian').

None of this means that Christians (and others) aren't justified in feeling slighted when people write 'Xmas' rather than 'Christmas,' but the point is that the abbreviation was not created specifically for the purpose of demeaning Christ, Christians, Christianity, or Christmas -- it's a very old artifact of a very different language.

Last updated:   21 December 1999

[retrokitten]

You are good. Now that song will be in my head for days.

Here's another one that always cracks me up. The words to the Star Trek Theme:

Beyond the rim of the starlight
My love is wandering in starflight
I know he'll find in star clustered reaches
Love strange, love a star woman teaches
I know his journey ends never
His star trek will go on forever
But tell him while he wanders his starry sea
Remember me, remember me.

Personally, I like "AAAHHHH-AHHH" better.

[VermiciousKnid]

Retro...you beat me by ONE MINUTE! I was going to post the exact same thing.

Foiled again!

Regards,

[lexington minuteman 1775]

Porky Pig singing Blue Christmas.Egads.That would be horrible.That's all Folks!

[Tony in Hawaii]

Roddenberry wrote those "lyrics" for the sole purpose of screwing Alexander Courage out of half the royalties for the theme.

[Tennessee_Bob]

F Troop

by Irving Taylor & William Lava

Original Air Dates: 1965 - 1967 (ABC)

The end of the Civil War was near when quite accidentally,
A hero who sneezed abruptly seized retreat and reversed it to victory.

His medal of honor pleased and thrilled his proud little family group.
While pinning it on some blood was spilled and so it was planned he’d command F Troop.

Where Indian fights are colorful sights & nobody takes a lickin’
Where pa le face and redskin both turn chicken.

When killing and fighting get them down, they know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they all relax in town before they resume with a bang and a boom F Troop.

[SeeYaBubba]

The worst song: That is soooo easy. "Jolly Old St. Nicholas" by Maurice Chevalier. I have it on an old 60's era LP from Goodyear Tire. Sleigh Ride by Steve Lawerence and Edie Gorme is amazingly bad too! How can they be so awful, but I love them anyway?

---

Great Christmas CD's: Steven Curtis Chapman's Music of Christmas. More I listen the more I love it.

---

The other one from a couple of years ago, is Point of Grace's Christmas Story.

---

And for the record, while I can't stand Barbra's politics, but I really do love Barbra Steisands's album . Sigh. I can't be consistent when it comes to Christmas music.

Ahhh Christmas music. I love almost all of it. And for some unknown reason, I really, really love the Bing and Bowie duet. Brings a tear everytime.

[Interesting Times]

Did you know that you can sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of the theme song for "Gilligan's Island"?

Yes. Also "Stairway to Heaven"...

[the bottle let me down]

Do you mean Kathy Mattea?

[retrokitten]

Retro...you beat me by ONE MINUTE!

We have a T1 here at work...it's awesome!! When I go home and use the dial-up it's like switching back to using the oven when you are used to using the microwave.

[retrokitten]

Did you know that you can sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of the theme song for "Gilligan's Island"?

Yes. Also "Stairway to Heaven"...

And supposedly, if you start "The Wizard of Oz" and Pink Floyd's "The Wall" at the same time, "The Wall" still makes no sense.

[PeteyBoy]

Favorites--The whole "From The Creative World Of Stan Kenton comes--A Merry Christmas." album. Everything by Frank Sinatra (but especially "Ave Maria"). "Green Christmas" by Stan Freeberg. Dislikes--"Blue Christmas", "12 Days", and "Little Drummer Boy".

[xp38]

Now that brings back memories of 1960s Christmases when I listened to the Bonanza Christmas record!!! Lots of intersong dialog IIRC.

[VermiciousKnid]

Oh, Bravo! You know, I was thinking about ole F-Troop the other day and I couldn't help but think about how I never see it anymore on TV. And then I came to my senses -- I mean, F-Troop is probably one of the most politically incorrect TV shows ever made (by today's standards), so I will probably never get to see it again...too bad...it was a damned funny show.

Regards,

[patriot5186]

That's a favorite of mine too. "Santa bring my baby back to me" is a pretty catchy tune too.

[Revolting cat!]

It was Kathy Mattea, yes,(can't ever get her spelled right since that increadible first hit way back when "Love at the Five & Dime". I still remember how it knocked me out then.)

By the way, wasn't your screen handle another great Christmas song? (Or very appropriate for this time of the year?)

[Interesting Times]

I'll see your Gilligan's Island theme (both the opening and closing verses), and raise you by a round of the theme from F-Troop.

Ah, yes... home of the Hekawi (as in "Where the ..."). Not to be confused with the Fugawi, a more vicious tribe...