UPI: Bin Laden Might Be Captured Soon

UnitesStates.com ^ | Nov. 13, 2001 | UPI Wire

[Dirk McQuickly]

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan, Nov. 13 (UPI) -- The United States is closed to achieving its objective in Afghanistan: capturing suspected terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden and others responsible for the Sept. 11 terror attacks on New York and Washington, diplomatic sources in Islamabad said Tuesday.

Reports from Afghanistan recount lightening victories for the Northern Alliance, which had captured more than 40 percent of Afghanistan by Tuesday afternoon and were now moving toward the Taliban stronghold of Kandahar.

"The fall of Kabul earlier Tuesday has sealed the fate of bin Laden and his protector, Mullah Omar, the so-called supreme leader of the Taliban," said a western diplomatic source in Islamabad.

"We will not be surprised if there is an uprising in Kandahar soon and people capture bin Laden and Mullah Omar and hand them over to the opposition forces," he said.

According to that source, U.S. intelligence officials in Afghanistan are now working with the opposition forces and Pashtun rebels in southern parts of the country to ensure that "the two fugitives are caught alive. They fear that angry opposition forces or others may kill them as soon as they are captured."

Hopes for a rapid collapse of the Taliban in Kandahar increased after an uprising against the militant group in the eastern Afghan city of Jalalabad. Most Afghan experts expected the opposition forces to face some resistance in Jalalabad as it is a Pashtun city and most Taliban rulers are also Pashtuns.

"But such events show that the Taliban were not popular anywhere. People were just afraid of them. Now that the process has started, it will be difficult for the Taliban to prevent similar uprising even in Kandahar. We expect Kandahar to fall soon," Western diplomatic sources in Islamabad said.

[3catsanadog]

I don't remember this press conference. Has to be a joke, right?

[GoreFreeTN]

I wonder, if the NA captures him and brings his head on a pike to the US Military, do we owe them the millions we promised as bounty or do we just subtract it from their war bill?

[hawkeyeBetsy]

Well, I certainly hope Osama makes good on his promise not to be taken alive.

Bring back his corpse.

Let's not forget to include his "Lieutenants" in this either. Ayman Al Zhawari (sp?) is the real spiritual leader behind Al Quaeda. He needs to meet the same fate.

[SubSailor]

Lock him up in solitary and make him watch televangelists 24 hours a day!

[steve-b]

I'd prefer to have his head on a pointed stick.

I'd look up at his lifeless eyes and wave like this....

[JoeSchem]

I don't want him captured; I want him dead.

I want him captured alive, and then I want him dragged in front of every family who lost a loved one in the September 11 attacks.

[dead]

All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him.
Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife. All his friends. Burn his damn house down.
Anybody that doesn't want to get killed best clear on out the back.

(Clint Eastwood, “Unforgiven”)

[wheezer]

Dershowitz is drooling at the thought of "capture".

Nope. Dershowitz is drooling at the thought of "torture".

[keepinitreal]

They need to bring his live body to NYC, tie him to a light pole down town, cut Mr. Winkie off, and let every person who lost someone on 9/11 smack him at least once. oww, smack, ouch, crack, ahhh, Then we can kill him

[LibWhacker]

Yup! Who is funding him in Saudi Arabia (they're dead men). Who and where all his allies are (they're dead men). Where his weapons of mass destruction are (they're ours). Who helped him build WMD (they're dead men).

[GEC]

Don't worry, this is pure PSYOPS.

If the Afghanis don't kill him first, the SAS or the Delta team that captures him will off him as soon as they positively identify him.

They need to kill all of his wives and children as well. But some of them can probably wait until after we take out Baghdad.

[Leroy S. Mort]

I wanna see this guy on Judge Judy....

[Doomonyou]

Head on a pike smeared in pig fat, body sewn into a pig's carcass, put into a cage and left to rot in the Afghan winter.

Captured, live body sewn into a pig carcass, left to rot on CNN...

[MarketR]

Yup! Who is funding him in Saudi Arabia (they're dead men). Who and where all his allies are (they're dead men). Where his weapons of mass destruction are (they're ours). Who helped him build WMD (they're dead men).

That's the ticket!

Great chance to round them all up. This guy will break, guranteed!

[ArGee]

I anticipate his early surrender to US armed forces (not the Northern Alliance).

In which case the correct response would be:

Scene: the Afghanistan mountains. An army Lieutennant is on the phone.

Lieutennant Captain? We've gone one Osama bin Laden here. He says he's a fugitive from United States Justice and he wants to turn himself in and stand trial. (listens) What? Of course we disarmed him. We disarm all unfriendlies, you know that. (listens) OK, sir, if you say so.

(Scene expands to show Osama bin Laden standing between two guards. Lieutennant addresses Osama.)

Lieutennant Mr. bin Laden, I understand you have an official pardon from the President of the United States. We'll have to keep your weapons and your vehicle, but you are free to go. Have a nice day.

[MaxwellWolf]

Drown him in pig manure. Then put his head in pig's stomach and bury him face down.

[ambrose]

Capture him and turn him over to some ex-KGB agents to have some fun with.

[Silly]

Pee-Wee prepares for the big bin Laden fight with a nutritious breakfast.

Pee-Wee enlists the help of the police. ("What exactly led you to believe the Soviets were involved?")

Pee-Wee ruthlessly terrorizes Mullah Omar.

Pee-Wee places "Wanted" posters at a Kabul shopping center.

Pee-Wee holds a secret basement meeting with the Taliban. ("IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THE REST OF US AMAZING LARRY??")

[Cacique]

I want him captured and then I want the TV cameras filming him as he begs for his life at the hands of the NA forces. Then I want him roasted alive slowly over an open pit fire so he can scream and yell in agony. A martyr dies stoically. I want this bastard to have a slow death and show the world what a coward this bastard is. That will be the end of his martyrdom. As long as the NA does it our hands are clean.

[concerned about politics]

"We have Bin Ladens body , but unfortunately, Alla took him by inflicting kidney failure on him. So sorry he didn't die as a martyr, and the U.S. can't be blamed for killing him either. Oh well. Dictators come and dictators go...".