Posted on 11/12/2001 9:38:13 AM PST by janus
Man falls into ancient cellar
AMIT MUKHERJEE
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
HMEDABAD: All Praveen Mehta, a retired bank employee of Ahmedabad, can think of these days is a dark underground chamber, guarded by three disfigured statues of dancing girls.
The chamber, with six hidden air ducts, was discovered after the January 26 earthquake of Gujarat. Believed to be a secret cellar of a bygone era, the chamber could have been used for performing secret yagnas. It could even be the outer chamber of a secret treasure trove.
The house, which was purchased by Mehtas grandfather Giridharilal in 1898, suffered considerable damage in the quake. Portions of the floor developed cracks and the foundation was damaged as well.
Towards the end of August, one night Mehta woke up thirsty. Half asleep, he was fumbling for the switchboard, when he felt the ground sinking under him. Before he realised what happened, he found himself standing waist deep in soil.
Subsequent efforts to repair the living room floor led to the discovery of the small chamber underneath. It is connected to a tunnel, suggesting the existence of a catacomb below.
"It was an interesting co-existence living with the mysterious history beneath you," remarks Mehta.
The main chamber is about 10 feet high and can be accessed through a staircase, big enough to accommodate a grown person.
The wall opposite has a carved facade in limestone about a foot wide. At its bottom, just above the floor, is the figure of a dancing apsara. At her feet lies the mouth of the tunnel.
The construction has elements of ancient temple architecture with arched cavities on the walls. The design reveals the influence of Hindu culture. "The experts from the Archaeological Survey of India have already made a detailed assessment," says Mehta. Though they have not come to any conclusion, the 14 such slots, which normally have statuettes placed inside them, are empty, suggesting intrusions into the area.
Probably the temple of the Snake God...."Reno".
Hi, everyone. I just finished offering all the food in the world to the Gods, so it is now completely sanctified on a global basis. This will save tons of time for everyone.
When the corn fields produce new ears next year, you'll have to go through the offering process again. Sorry. You can only do what you can do.
I'm working on the procedures right now to provide "future offering" of food to the Gods. When perfected, I'll be able to offer all future food to the Gods, and then this step can be skipped by everyone for all time. Messages of appreciation will be received by my accolytes in the doorway of the temple while I concentrate on the discoveries I'm making. If you include money in your gifts, I can place you on the top of the list of "future food offerings to the Gods" for your added convenience.
Adoring females may present themselves at the "rearward facing" holy doorway and meet with the yodhis who will prepare you to meet me at the appropriate times. If you wish, you may be present at the "future offerings to the Gods" ritual so that you may bask in the glory of the holy future Prasad ceremony.
I may not ever get a good night's sleep again, knowing this sort of thing can happen.
I hear the gods prefer KrispyKreme Doughnuts. Doesn't everyone?
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Note: this topic is from Monday, November 12, 2001.
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What no Helen Thomas photos on this thread yet?
HOLLY: Morning, Dave. I’ve finished your translation.
LISTER: Who’s Cloister? Is it me?
HOLLY: Yes, Dave. The Cats have made you their God.
LISTER: Hey! Working class kid makes good!
HOLLY: Your plan to buy a farm on Fiji and open up a hot dog and doughnut diner has become their image of heaven.
LISTER: What?
HOLLY displays a picture from the Holy Book, showing the noble, biblical, sort-of-Lister standing on a mountaintop, reading a scroll to the black cat. HOLLY reads from the book in voice-over.
HOLLY: “And Cloister spake, `Lo, I shall lead you to Fyushal, and there we shall open a temple of food, wherein shall be sausages and doughnuts and all manner of bountiful things.
The picture changes to one showing the pseudo-Lister standing in front of a sausage and doughnut cart on a beach, with palm trees.
HOLLY: “`Yea, even individual sachets of mustard. And those who serve shall have hats of great majesty, yea, though they be made of coloured cardboard and have humorous arrows through the top.’”
LISTER: Does it say what happened to the rest of the Cats?
HOLLY: Holy wars. There were thousands of years of fighting, Dave, between the two factions.
LISTER: What two factions?
HOLLY: Well, the ones who believed the hats should be red, and the ones who believed the hats should be blue.
Another picture, showing the holy wars. It looks like a scene from the Bayeaux Tapestry.
LISTER: Do you mean they had a war over whether the doughnut diner hats were red or blue?
HOLLY: Yeah. Most of them were killed fighting about that. It’s daft really, innit?
LISTER: You’re not kidding. They were supposed to be green.
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