Posted on 11/05/2001 2:08:28 PM PST by truther
Ex-president Bill Clinton's Harlem office has put out the word: The "Big He" wants new interns - preferably even younger than Monica Lewinsky.
In a help wanted ad e-mailed to Columbia University's undergraduate political science department, a Clinton aide advertised for fresh interns to fill the "understaffed" post-presidential digs.
"Bill Clinton's office, located at 55 West 125th Street, is seeking interns in its understaffed scheduling department," the e-mail begins.
"Interns will answer phones, take requests, and follow through on such requests. Also (they) will be responsible for light computer work and keeping track of calendar. Flexible days/hours. For consideration, please fax resume to: David Slade, Deputy Director of Scheduling."
The Clinton "interns wanted" e-mail, which was first reported by the New Yorker magazine on its web site Monday, caught the eye of one Columbia undergrad who actually went for an interview and reported back to the magazine.
"Security was very tight," Lindsey Lincoln told the New Yorker. "People were dressed professionally, but it was relaxed and comfortable."
Her interview lasted fifteen minutes, during which she learned that Clinton was out of town.
"He was generally referred to as 'he,' " Lincoln said. "I was told I would be in contact with him. In general, if he needed assistance and his assistant was busy I would be asked to do anything basic. The guy said Mr. Clinton might need help in his kitchen, and I would do that."
Watch out Lindsey. The kitchen is where the "Big He" grabbed and groped Kathleen Willey.
The New Yorker reports Ms. Lincoln was offered the job but turned it down.
So that's what he's calling it these days, huh? Sounds a little more dignified than "winkle", I guess.
I understand Clinton does some of his best work in the kitchen sink.
This year, our program is heading into our 1st year of bringing America's best and brightest to the New York to help the "Head Man" do his job. We expect that 2001 will be the most exciting one yet!
Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the Harlem Office that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Clinton activities!
Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern:
"I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing Clinton.
Getting involved in Harlem Office affairs is just fantastic." - M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.
As you can see, being a Harlem Office intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy national issues.
Still interested? Fill out this information form and send it back to the Harlem Office at BigCreep@Harlemoffice.com
Name:
Hometown:
Sex: F__ Age:
Measurements: (required for medical purposes)
How many beers it takes to get you...
...Giggly:
...Drunk:
...Hot:
...To lie to a federal prosecutor:
Quick quiz:
You've always considered the Harlem Office:
a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great leaders meet
c) vaguely erotic
d) extremely erotic
Hillary Clinton is a(n):
a) model wife and mother
b) icon of late 20th century femininity
c) obstacle
d) inappropriate companion for the leader of the free world
You've always wanted to know more about the Clinton's:
a) Israeli policies
b) childhood in Hope, Ark.
c) romper room
d) "monument to democracy"
My social life as an intern would likely consist of:
a) hitting Uptown bars with the other interns
b) reading, study
c) late nights working at the Harlem Office
d) late nights working the Harlem Office
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
Scores of16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call soon.
Big Creep Sam wants you.
*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be interested in this program. The Harlem Office is an equal opportunity employer.
We understand that he is looking for a ski instructor, too. Seems he keeps getting snow on his upper lip. What a first class honker. In Europe, they's call that a Klaxon (/my spelling)
Heard tell, he'd rather be in Phildealphia, with his Grand Pappy, W.C. Fields and prospective intern, come lap doll.
LOL! I knew I remembered that fact, but phrased the way you did is a hoot!
I'm amazed no one has jumped on this line yet. Are we getting lazy around here?
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