Posted on 10/15/2001 5:46:48 PM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs
PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
"Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily cla d male models.
Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for non e of the credit.
Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"
Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.
Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."
Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishmen ts.
Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.
All toilet seats would be nailed down.
Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.
TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.
All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator
During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.
Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constan tly.
After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait o n their wives hand and foot.
For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year olds f or six weeks.
Don't give me your sob story about female "troubles". I am the only female in a house with (at the time) a one year old male, one three year old male (still in diapers, of course, because he was male) and a male cat and two male dogs. (There was a male husband and father living in the house, but he disappeared a lot. Go figure.) I tried to hide in the bathroom to get a little rest on the "throne" and all five came in and stared at me with these eyes that said "Can't you get up and get me what I need?" I threw out everyone with a p*n*s! fsf
No human beings would even have gone into Earth orbit, much less landed on the moon and come back to earth.
The population of the earth would be 115 million, which is about the level that can be sustained with non-mechanized, subsistence farming.
Books, if they existed at all, would be laboriously copied by hand.
;-)
Thanks we could use some humor. Well, gotta go make my own dinner.
I'm buying a tent and a long cord, and will live in it one week out of each month...." LOL
Pity my husband, he has four and they are all "of that age". :)
Rule around here is that you can mope a little and get teary-eyed, but no ridiculous temper tantrums. It works.
Besides--one week of the month? Don't be silly. With three daughters you're going to spend the entire month in that tent. LOL You'd just as soon learn to humor them the right way--little hugs and tender kisses, looks of understanding, etc., so they don't turn into shrews for their future husbands. :)
Give up OPH, with 3 girls you are doomed.
19 year olds are too hard to train. I would rather have the sports car."
ROFLOL Agreed. And he could drive the kids all over town in the van. Yeah!
We think alike... I was going to look for a similar picture until I saw yours. I doubt I would have been able to find one as good as the one you found.
I guess it wouldn't be too bad as long as she let me FReep every once in a while ;-)
PMS is a legislmate defense in british courts. Two women were actually acquitted of MURDER by using that defense!
IF? Where the heck have you been?
Women would stop complaining about the seat being left up and actually start putting it up for us men if we actually left them down - and intentionally missed a few times. They won't complain about the seat not being up, because they'd have to embarrassing admit that they sat on a "wet" seat. Heh heh..
Notice I didn't even include clothes in that list.
And my husband thinks they're worth every penny. :)
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