Posted on 09/29/2001 6:47:22 AM PDT by Cagey
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.
14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
20. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: "Enter Password Now."
21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
All hookers have a heart of gold.
"... Ahem....OK.."
Oh! NOW I get it! ;^)
On post# 69 no less.
2)The perp always loses his license plate while escaping. er....sorry. ;^(
i'm still trying to figure out how they got moe, larry & curly to ride that artillery round.
This (and a whole bunch of other movie cliches) was hilariously spoofed in "Galaxy Quest". If you haven't seen it yet, rent it NOW, it's an enormously entertaining film.
Exception: The Abyss
Especially the females. *cough*
Actually, one thing I find extremely suspicious about alleged "real life" alien sightings/abductions is that the sketches of what the aliens look like *always* look far more human than even any other species here on Earth.
Why should aliens from another planet look more human than even a chimpanzee does, for pete's sake? Why aren't they ever as different from us as say, a lobster, a platypus, or a venus fly trap?
This is a clear sign that the "abductees" just have poor imaginations when they spin their tales, instead of having had an actual alien encounter.
I can top that one -- in "Superman II", the villains carry on a normal conversation while standing on the surface of the Moon, which is totally airless.
Mary-Kate good, Ashley evil. Or is it the other way around?
In "Fantastic Voyage", NOBODY'S scuba gear emits ANY bubbles!!
Gigantic, murderous sharks can easily outrun anything:
Jaws 2- speedboats
Jaws 4- Airplane
Excellent!
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