Posted on 08/06/2026 12:34:46 PM PDT by artichokegrower
A firebug suspected of torching a landmarked 173-year-old Brooklyn church was busted Tuesday when an eagle-eyed cop spotted him shoplifting a turkey sandwich and donuts from a Midtown CVS, sources said.
John Jones, 24, was hit with a federal arson rap after he was picked up trying to swipe a free meal with a Coke to wash it down in the store on Broadway at about 1:39 a.m., sources said.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
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Ways to tell the above story was authentic:
Criminal got free food-—and it was in New York. 🏙️🏙️
Cops were close by to catch him because donuts were around.
🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯🥯
The jokes write themselves.
Great example of the broken windows method. People who jump the subway turnstile, steal donuts, etc can often have warrants for other, more serious crimes. Only a few percentage of the people commit most of the crime. Lock them up!
"Young man just needed food. Now they're locking him up for shoplifting."
Guess “firebug” is easier to say than one of them...
The DA will water this down to nothing.
Our CVS stores don’t have turkey sandwiches or donuts. A small frozen and packaged food and beverage display might have some items and the Hostess and Little Debbie packages might count.
I always wondered what the places shown on Times Square scenes on TV news or movies were like to warrant the high cost of being there.
Amazing to consider nearly all drug stores (mostly independent) in the 1940s and 1950s used to have a soda jerk hired to tend to customers at a long counter with stools. You could often get burgers and fries along with ice cream choices and drinks with a white cone inside a metal base.
Picture on the wall at my nearest Walgreen’s shows that.

Well ... whaddayaknow? His mama tried; she gave him a regular name. He fxxked up anyway.
The chances are very high “John Jones” will be continuous problem for society throughout his entire life - whether its theft, violent robbery, addiction, homelessness, arson/vandalism, etc...
So what to do with him???
Absolutely right.
Famous AOC on having to shoplift some bread or they and they’re children go hungry that night....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul-Izr3I46k
Before Mamdani’s food outlets, obviously.
No choice left but to resort to crime.
The store manager said taking the Coke was a bit too much.
Photo...
I told ya’ if I kept the Pulp Fiction Samuel L. Jackson hairdo it would come back in style.
Photo....
A friend in the ‘hood said: “My man, listen to this tale and it will curl your hair.”
It did.
Looking at his picture it’s clear that HE’S FILLED WITH REGRET AND REMORSE. /sarc
Looks like Samual Jackson
Gotta save those donuts.
Sounds like a real charmer, doesn’t he? Also…
“Jones was arrested on criminal mischief charges for smashing a television at Williamsburg restaurant DOC Wine on June 28 in Brooklyn, causing $900 in damages, sources said.”
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