WINNER!
Meaningless Buzzwords Blather of the Year!!
Posted on 01/19/2024 11:30:57 AM PST by ShadowAce
IBM Consulting this week told its US-based executives and people managers that, effective immediately, they must work from a corporate office at least three days per week, or face the consequences.
John Granger, SVP of IBM Consulting, told staff in an email this is a company-wide policy that extends beyond the Consulting division. He issued a similar, if less emphatic, memo in 2022 that called for being in the workplace three days per week, "wherever possible," and exempted those designated as "work-at-home" employees from the office or client-site attendance.
The email sent this week, however, tells those affected that they should "separate from IBM" if they don't wish to comply.
IBM Software issued a similar directive in September 2023, and at the time, we're told, the Consulting group expected to implement the policy at a later date. That day has now arrived.
Big Blue's antipathy toward remote work predates the workplace exodus precipitated by the COVID pandemic. Back in 2017, IBM tried to end telecommuting by telling workers they had to work from one of six strategic offices, a policy some employees saw as an attempt to drive older workers out.
An IBM employee who spoke with The Register, and asked not to be named for fear of retaliation, described the enforced return-to-office policy as "attrition by design," noting that the IT giant would have to spend some money to relocate and promote lower-band (younger) employees but would save money overall by shedding more experienced, more expensive workers.
Our source also noted that Big Blue is ordering people back to the office at a time when the venerable employer is closing regional hubs.
"Winning in the marketplace demands our collective focus and alignment on innovation, speed, and execution," Granger's note states. "We believe alignment includes face-to-face interaction as it drives the engagement, productivity, and the culture we need to bring world-class client services and products to market."
That belief about productivity may be misplaced. According to economic research published earlier this week by the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, remote work has no significant effect on productivity.
"After controlling for pre-pandemic trends in industry productivity growth rates, we find little statistical relationship between telework and pandemic productivity performance," the study says.
"We conclude that the shift to remote work, on its own, is unlikely to be a major factor explaining differences across sectors in productivity performance. By extension, despite the important social and cultural effects of increased telework, the shift is unlikely to be a major factor explaining changes in aggregate productivity."
Part of the problem for managers is that many lack ways to assess the productivity of remote workers.
They also lack a way to assess office occupancy. According to our IBM source, Big Blue's team can tell when employees arrive by the time they swipe their badges through building security systems. But there's no badge swipe upon exit, so there's nothing to prevent workers from showing up and then departing shortly thereafter.
Be that as it may, IBM Consulting is moving ahead with its plan, requiring executives and people managers to "immediately begin working from a client location or an IBM office" at least three days each week, unless eligible for exceptions like medical conditions or military service.
Those who are currently not working from an office or client site must relocate by August 1 so that they can work on-prem, or to shift to a related role outside IBM Consulting for a position that's approved for remote work, or to simply leave the biz.
Granger's note, also shared here on social media, says executives and people managers who will be required to relocate will be informed of this by the end of January 2024, and will then have 30 days to decide if they are willing to make the move.
It's perhaps worth noting that insiders sometimes say IBM stands for I've Been Moved.
Asked to comment, an IBM spokesperson told The Register, "IBM is focused on providing a work environment that balances flexibility with the face to face interactions that make us more productive, innovative and better able to serve our clients. Consistent with that approach, we’re requiring executives and people managers in the United States to be in the office at least three days per week."
Those affected by the policy appear to be less enthusiastic. In a post to LinkedIn, Tony Moura, IBM Federal Garage Lead, said, "So, I'll drive to an office that's 30 minutes away, incur the cost for tolls which will equal $11.25 for the day, and lunch. Just to sit with no one that is on my team because they're all over the country to simply do what I'm doing right now." ®
I used to spend a lot of time keeping the old programs running even if it meant keeping old operating systems and old machines running.
The only “creativity” and “urgency” we had in our offices were the creative and very loud phone discussions LaQuisha had three cubicles away about how “urgent” her “good boy’s” latest problems were with local law enforcement.
Lol.
I’m glad I’m retired.
I don’t see how I could get my old job done at home [working with relatively large physical “properties” to design, build, program and test them for function].
I wonder how much of this is a white-privilege thingy??? We need workers in the office, so that we can have do-nothing middle managers to watch over them???
I don’t think that is all there is to it and I do believe for some jobs you need an office environment. But IBM is demanding everybody come in three days a week, and there are surely a bunch of employees who could do their work remotely.
“...keeping old operating systems and old machines running....”
Dat chit used to actually work great....
Some jobs aren't conducive to this, Hospital workers are a good example, maybe 5-10% could work from home.
We liked people like you.
Without exaggeration, it’s every single program. It seems deliberate.
Notice the example of the employee quoted in the article that had a boss three states away.
My boss was two states away.
Going to the office accomplished nothing.
They had to measure me remotely—no matter where I was and no matter where they were.
Once a quarter we all traveled to HQ for a week to hang out together.
There was some real work done—but it was mostly parties.
WINNER!
Meaningless Buzzwords Blather of the Year!!
Part of the problem for managers is that many lack ways to assess the productivity of remote workers.
BS
They are either meeting or exceeding KPI’s or MBO’s or they are not.
My boss had this idiotic and anachronistic demand that sales come to office before going to the field.
Why?
There was no meeting of any kind so WTF for?
I was number rep in sales and GP.
I came and went as I please until one day, after 3 years, he called a meeting with little old me.
He informed me that in the interview I was told I would be in the office everyday before hitting the field.
I informed if I even knew that was a requirement I would not have agreed to come here.
He then proceeded to tell me that any sales job I have that is a requirement.
I LOL’d and said “I have been in sales my entire, outside sales and the only time anyone ever wanted to see me was for Monday morning sales meeting, which was fine by me, so I could brag and let everyone know how much I sold so far.
The only other time they required my presence was for recognition awards and “Hell Yeah!” I was there”.
My customers don’t come to the office and I will not be caught talking around the water cooler or coffee maker.
“I’m completely okay if you need someone to fulfill your requirement to be in the office but, my job is to put numbers on a board and with good GP. I do both exceptionally well but, I want you to be happy and will be fine if you need someone to fulfill that requirement” I explained.
Never heard about it again....
They told me to sell 10 I regularly sold 30.
They told me GP was minimum 45% I averaged 74%....
The numbers are on the board. Neither one of us can hide but, maybe only one of us right....
cuz being in the office is a Yuge waste of time...
KPMG just walked off from their RE sink hole
Saleforce no longer occupies their own tower
and so forth...
[Party on, dude...]
So I’ll just come out and admit it. I totally goofed off while working from home during the pandemic. I did figure out what work needs to get done and when I needed to be available throughout the day. Somehow or another, still got some recognition for my work. But to say I got more done at home versus work would simply not be telling the truth. And I have no guilt about. None.
I don't want make a sweeping statement, but I think one of the side issues right now is that many middle managers were let go a while ago. Perhaps not at IBM (though I expect so). The middle managers had already been identified as "dead weight" so they got hollowed out.
What that means -- is that the great mass of "worker bees" have little chance of moving up. There's no path to the top since so many middle positions are gone. So the "entry level" positions are now seen as dead-end jobs that lead to paychecks (which is nice) but do not lead to careers (which is what people want).
And although some middle management really was "dead weight", a lot of those folks actually knew how to lead a team, how to measure performance, how to manage a project. Good management is really critical and I think many companies decided to "save money" by getting rid of it.
Now they have "worker bees" at home and the companies can't figure out how to manage them.
Tele everything is crap.
It doesn’t work well for school, college, government offices, doctors...
It’s another fad that was amplified by Covid and taken far beyond its practical best application.
I was number 1 rep in sales and GP.
Unfortunately it will probably take an existential war to get the US back on track, assuming we win it.
I agree. It’s bad that my hopes rest on a couple billion dead.
If there’s another way out, it escapes me.
IT hated me! They wanted standardization to make their lives easier. The network ran with no glitches was their measure of success. Individual computers at each node doing things the company needed done to make customers happy, not their problem! Glad I retired and consult now - when I feel like it.
^^ That's exactly what this is about. ^^
The productivity of these kinds of jobs can, and are, easily monitored from anywhere there is connectivity whether that's in an office next to a group of cubicles, or from the other side of the planet.
The only time "IT" personnel must be in person, is if they are those that physically install or maintain hardware (servers, routers, etc). The rest can type on a computer/video conference/pick up a phone from anywhere.
The only physical space these companies need are for data centers and the like.
Instead, they have to justify paying for and maintaining (i.e. operating, cleaning costs, etc) their office buildings by mandating people drive/commute in so they can sit in a chair at the office and do the same exact thing otherwise.
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