Posted on 05/02/2020 10:32:08 AM PDT by Kaslin
I caught my neighbor selling illegal haircuts, so I did what any good person would do. I kept my mouth shut.
When the weather permits I like to work in my little backyard here in Brooklyn. It’s a 20’ by 25’ postage stamp of cement and dirt surrounded by the small plots of my neighbors. Over the past couple of weeks as New York City has endured its lockdown, I have noticed one neighbor, day in and day out, cutting people’s hair a few yards down. At first I thought maybe it’s just family haircuts, but unless this guy has old testament levels of offspring, it became clear he had set up shop. I even saw the cash exchanged once or twice.
According to my mayor, one Bill de Blasio, you remember him, big oafy guy who wasted everyone’s time running for president? Yeah, him. So he says that what I should have done when I saw this illegal barber operation going on was to jump on the phone to 311 and alert the authorities so that they could send the officers from the New York Police Department to break up the crime ring.
That is not what I did. I did something that in Brooklyn we like to call “minding your own freakin’ business.” The guy wears a mask and gloves, as do his customers. And while strict social distancing is not in place, nothing is happening that is half as potentially harmful as going to a bodega (that’s what we call delis.) It seemed to me that this cat was running a pretty conscientious little situation and his customers seem fine with whatever danger they may be placing themselves in.
But let’s say I did have a problem with it, that I was that guy. You know, the self-appointed pandemic hall monitor type. Even in that upside down universe, I’m pretty sure my first course of action would be to go talk to the guy before I request that men and women with guns show up at his door.
I very nearly went over to see how much he was charging, but he seems to only know one hair-style, a kind of high and tight that is part Marines and part K-Pop. I rocked that in high school, not really my thing now. But the point is that even though I already knew that de Blasio’s “rat on your neighbor” policy was the epitome of stupidity, being in the actual situation made the awfulness of it more visceral.
There I am, smoking my cigarette, watching this makeshift hairdresser’s busy scissors and I realized I had been deputized by my mayor to mess up his whole deal. It’s not an authority I want, and even just knowing I have it makes me very uncomfortable. The good news is that apparently the hotline Hizzoner set up has mostly been used to mock the policy, not to tattle on fellow citizens, but it’s still disturbing and dystopian.
It brings up an interesting question about the nature of American civil life. Is my primary duty to my government or to my neighbors? For me the answer is clearly the latter. The idea that I should be the entity ensuring everyone lives by the letter of the law is anathema. Should we call the police when there is a serious crime happening? Sure, of course. Should we call the police because someone is cutting hair in their backyard? No.
The American people are smart, they understand what is going on, and they are doing a good job handling what has been asked of them. But they also need to be trusted, we don’t need a state-driven crackdown on people living their lives and we certainly don’t need citizens looking over their shoulders waiting to be sold down the river by fretful neighbors.
So,f no. I will not be telling on neighbors who cut hair, or throw a small BBQ, or sit on their stoops without social distancing, or let their kids play together in the park. That is not a door that should ever be opened in a free society. Thankfully, it is one that my fellow New Yorkers and I do not see fit to go through.
And they will rat anyone out just to get a selfish sense of pride and power.
And now the authorities know who he is, where he lives and can arrest the neighbor.
or felonious level haircuts...
?
Born and raised in Brooklyn my mom always told us “live and let live.”
She wore a mask and gloves, and I wore a mask. Anyone who objects is welcome to go pound sand.
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Well, thanks a lot friend, you just brought up another problem for me. I always get a beard trim. Hard to do with a mask on.
Back when I had rental properties I made a mistake and rented to a low level drug dealer, the whole neighborhood is telling about, so I talk to the cities police about it then get a call from a prosecutor telling me that if I talk to anyone about it or try to evict that I’ll be prosecuted that that would open me up to personal liabilities.
Would you post your neighbor’s contact info... asking for a friend.
“Something that is impossible for a lefty to do.”
It ain’t just lefties. It seems this event is cutting across all demographics.
As I said before, when the SHTF wait until the dust settles to see who is actually on your side of America.
Agreed—my wife is accusing me of looking like Martin Van Buren... ;-)
Even though I am a bona-fide “fearper” I would gladly get a black-market haircut from someone in town and would never even consider ratting out someone for providing that public service.
The real world is not black and white, it is many shades of gray.
A lot of the ranting around here seems to ignore that simple fact of life.
Another huge advantage of the black market is the fascist govt. is not getting a single red penny of tax revenue from any of it...nada....serves em right. They can go pound sand.
The hair dresser of my 82 year old mother, came to her house to give her a cut. Payment? 10 masks I made because she will be required to use them when they open back up.
Win-win and mom no longer has a fro.
Victor Davis Hanson said on an Uncommon Knowledge podcast a few days ago that a Mexican barber is cutting hair out of his home in Selma, CA and doing 30 haircuts a day.
My wife went to a new hairdresser in Idaho. Lady has a small licensed salon in the back of her house. She put paper up in her windows so the health authorities or police would think she’s closed, but she’s still working. She also cut my son’s hair when she was finished with my wife.
So far everybody has survived. An nobody has ratted anybody out.
“Something that is impossible for a lefty to do.”
Well, they DO know how you should run your life better than you do.
You’re might careless with your money. You could probably retire ten years earlier if you’d watch your dimes more closely.
If you are in the Coeur d’Alene, ID area, I can point you in the right direction. My finder’s fee is quite reasonable.
Exactly. The author DID rat out his neighbor, maybe unintentionally; we know the author's name and where he lives. Take it from there.
Did anyone else read this with a Brooklyn accent? It’s much more interesting if you do, and makes me feel like I’m talking to someone far away.
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