Posted on 05/29/2018 5:46:43 AM PDT by Cronos
Tbowling alley in my small town in central Pennsylvania. An older man bought me a beer and talked to me while he shot pool. Smoking and drinking in that grungy bowling-alley bar in the seediest part of town, I felt cosmopolitan and mature. I was oblivious to the transaction taking place: by drinking his beer, I was entering into an implicit and unwritten contract in which I was expected to fulfill a sexual obligation. One of my more astute and experienced friends told the man that I had a boyfriend and had no intention of being intimate with him. He became irate and threw a lit cigarette into my hair as I left the bar. I went home scared and confused as to why my acceptance of a beer and friendly conversation had gotten me into a terrifying mess.
What I learned that day is that attention from unfamiliar men is implicitly transactional, and a failure to pay the price can result in some traumatic consequence. I admit that on this point, I have been proven wrong repeatedly over time. But I have also had enough disturbing experiences that every male stranger is suspect. Its always possible that I am going to be expected to acknowledge a tacit, unwritten contract and obey its terms and conditions. Its a contract only a man can create, and sometimes it feels like only a man can break it. Women are expected to sign on the dotted line.. ...
(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...
A typical woman outtalks the typical man 50 words to one? LOL You actually believe that?
But I'll say this to you, personally, Cronos.
You are a Catholic and a mensch.
It has been my almost unbelievably good fortune (gotta mention Divine Providence here) that the majority of men I have known --- at least that I have known well enough to actually know something about them --- have been like you, of your kind, your tribe.
My father, my brother, my work associates, my boyfriends before I got married, and now my husband. And my firstborn, Ben, Captain, USMC.
They are mensches. They would never think they could buy a woman with a drink. They actually wouldn't have sex with a woman unless they were married to her, or well and truly on the road to marriage.
They were sane, sound, morally realistic, worthy of respect, and decent.
How incredibly good is God! How incredibly God has blessed me! They were (and are) what I think of as "men".
The need to constrain the evolutionary instinct of men to procreate(to put it nicely), has had a profound impact on the creation of our civilized world.
In a sense, are laws and rights, culture and traditions, were created foremost to protect the weak. And part of this included the right for woman to regulate their suitors.(That is why I always laugh when I hear the feminist lie that prostitution is the oldest profession. In anthropological terms, woman have only recently gained controlled of their bodies and what was done to them.)
As for your concern, notwithstanding the evil rapist, the evolutionary instinct men possess can be curtailed by civilization but it cannot be halted. An unwilling, acquiescing female sex partner is far better than none.
It is flabbergasting if you think in religious terms, but the modern woman has forgone that patriarchal restraint when it comes to their sexual appetite.
“speaking up to 75% of the time in mixed gender deliberative groups”
Even if the study is broad-based and accurate, it’s a far cry from a social setting, and much of everyday life.
The referenced groups were trying to get something done. And the women are having a hard time breaking through.
It’s likely that is a reason why so many do not hold leadership positions. Leaders effortlessly command their audience.
I honestly made it about 3 paragraphs (to the thing about Galway) before I quit reading.
If, after being blunt and saying “I am not going to sleep with you, or have sex with you”, and the guy still expected sex, and it happens repeatedly, maybe it’s something she’s doing.
I realize men are jerks, hell, I am one, but I also have zero knowledge of a guy who will think a lady/woman/gal will still sleep with them after being told “I’m not going to sleep with you”.
I don’t think there are that many men out there who enjoy having sex with children (more women these days are sleeping with kids if what gets reported from teachers in trouble is any indication) or rape or quasi-rape. I have been around a lot of drunk dudes and never seen anyone angrily demand sex, although I’m sure it happens rarely. I’ve seen men beg for sex, but not angrily demand it - especially not for a single drink.
If my SIL, her friends, and what you see on social media these days for those at or under 30, it usually doesn't even cost anything at all - just swipe right.
I never accepted a drink sent over from a stranger when I was single. I certainly didn’t ask for one. That’s not proper.
Yep. Maybe not tonight, maybe not this week, but accepting a drink is supposed to communicate that she's not disinterested.
She should at least be upfront that she's not interested in anything beyond having a few minutes conversation.
Many women don't seem to realize that a man who is just interested in conversation, can easily get into a pleasant chat about topics of the day, philosophy, etc, with other men, who will generally pay for their own drinks.
NO! Not real sex. A single beer would only get you a blow job, and as billyboy taught every young woman, that ain't sex. {And who am I to argue with a President, even an ex-President}.
And the moral of the story is -— situational awareness. Can’t figure it out -— don’t accept gifts from strange men. You can have a conversation without it having to be bought, right?
Or was she happy to be a sexual object only when it comes to getting free stuff, but not when it comes to reciprocation?
So that’s the going rate for a beer, these days? Obligatory sex? Glad I’ve never hung out at bars. BTW, if a guy strikes up a conversation with another guy, and then buys him a beer, is the buyee obligated to have sex with the buyor?
(Asking for a jaded idiot)
These questions are so obtuse I feel like I walked in on a SJW meeting.
“Don’t flirt with a guy for a free beer than act dumb when he pays for one” is not THAT hard a concept!
A woman who accepts a drink, or a date, having decided beforehand that nothing will happen, just because she wants the man to buy her stuff, is being dishonest.
What kind of a Neanderthal thinks that every time a woman agrees to go on a date, she’s required to have sex? I’d put that under the category of predatory behavior, with the likelihood of sexual assault! And I’m no feminist. I’ve had sex with exactly two men, in my life, despite dating my share of others. My first husband, and my second husband. And I’ve NEVER been on a date with any man who expected, or even HINTED that I put out, for the privilege of dating him. The day a normal woman ends up with a guy who thinks like you do, she’d better be carrying a gun.
I think you are reading into something different than what he’s saying - I am pretty sure he’s referring to the types of gals that are only going with or drinking with the guy for free food/drinks - with no real interest in the person. There are quite a few women like that out there.
I was never comfortable accepting any alcoholic donation when I was out, as I never wanted to feel obligated to a stranger. Going on an actual “date” with someone was entirely different.
I also knew how to be firm and when not to be “nice.” I have passed on these qualities to my daughter.
I read these articles and have to wonder what information did their mothers pass on to them? If someone is rude to you, belittle them and tell them off. I never stood for this sort of behavior when I was young, and frankly do not understand this generation of wussy women.
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