Posted on 05/14/2017 6:53:09 AM PDT by TigerClaws
American social activist Anna Jarvis may be the mother of Mothers Day (Jarvis founded the holiday in the United States in the early 1900s, in honour of her own late mother). But historians are unanimous about one thing: Jarvis was no fan of her offspring. This is because when Jarvis launched the movement to establish a day recognizing mothers she did not envision the pink, floral, commercial behemoth the holiday would grow up to become. What did Jarvis envision for Mothers Day?
Moms working together for a better world. Jarvis hoped that the holiday would develop into a day of unified action, one on which American moms might advocate for mothers less fortunate than them.
Fat chance.
Today, Mothers Day means many things to many people breakfast in bed, flowers, scented candles, mugs that say Number 1 mom but social justice isnt usually one of them. Brunch is.
Read more:
When Mother's Day is a reminder of loss
The woman who created Mothers Day died despising it
Once Upon A City: Stores quick to cash in on Mothers Day
And yet, as though egged on by the ghost of Anna Jarvis, critics of the spring holiday abound. Every year, Mothers Day and Fathers Day too for that matter are ridiculed for their Hallmark-, Indigo-inspired consumerism. Lately though, these holidays are getting a bad rap for something else too: rather than make people feel good, they tend to make them feel bad or excluded.
For example: Both Mothers Day and Fathers Day are extremely difficult for people who have lost parents or children, a reality that many who have experienced stillbirth pregnancies, for instance, have begun to write about openly in recent years. The gendered holidays are also generally a drag for non-binary parents who dont identify with a single gender. Some of these parents have even begun advocating online for the creation of a brand new holiday to recognize parents who arent male or female. (A proposed date for Non Binary Parents Day is July 17). None of these critics have proposed scrapping Mothers Day or Fathers Day altogether. But Im beginning to wonder if thats exactly what we should do.
After all, Mothers Day and Fathers Day arent merely painful for a lot of people or exclusionary to some: they are often simply more trouble than they are worth for everyone. Survey research shows that one of the most common complaints about these parental-honour holidays is that theyre a lot of hard work and stress for precisely the people theyre meant to pamper. A big reason for this is that beyond the obligation to see family members you may not want to see, these holidays dont fall on a day of our own choosing and unlike Christmas, New Years or Thanksgiving, you dont necessarily get a day off work. You may love everyone in your family and you may love brunch, but if you dont get to see your loved ones and eat your breakfast in bed on your own terms, at a time of your own choosing, then Mothers Day can be a burden rather than a boon.
This is why Id like to propose that we scrap both Mothers Day and Fathers Day for good. And in the spirit of both inclusivity and selfishness, Id like to propose a new holiday called Guardians Day. Guardians Day, which has a nice sci-fi fantasy ring to it, will be a rotating statutory holiday meaning you can celebrate it any day you please, and you can interpret it any way you like. A guardian can be a mom, a dad, a non-binary parent, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, a pet owner, or why the heck not somebody who takes really good care of his houseplants.
Guardians Day may not fulfil Anna Jarviss dream of moms working together to help the less fortunate (it would also most certainly lead to the production of millions of the kind of impersonal greeting cards she hated so much). But at the very least, it might mean that the people the day is meant to honour might actually, for once, enjoy themselves.
It can be tough for those of us who never had children to be wished “Happy Mothers Day” just because we’re females of child bearing age. For a while it was a very painful reminder of the child I lost to miscarriage.
However, I have learned to gracefully say “thank you”, and move on. Why should all of the other mothers in the world have their day taken away because I’m not one and we aren’t wearing identification badges?
Yet again one one person, or a small group doe snot like something they want it banned, or removed. On the other hand people on the right don;t like something , and we just ignore it, or stay away , thus giving freedom to enjoy their’s .
The left have become the National Socialist party, and for any trolls reading this from the fringe element of the left , that means the NAZI party, for it is you who are closing down free speech, having monuments removed, and rioting when others have a different opinion to you.
None of us buy each other cards in this family as it is a waste of money.
I write a note for my wife, the kids make their cards with a note, and we do more chores than usual.
We never celebrate Valentines day either as we do not need one day a year to say I love you, or appreciate each other.
So far over 20 years of marriage, and we married young.
My dad died when I was in high school. I never protested Father’s Day. It was what it was. Why should I deny a day of celebration for others who still had their dad? Of course this was 1968 so I was not as “enlightened” as today’s youth.
It does annoy me when so many holidays morph into rabid consumerism such as Memorial Day and annual mattress sales.
I think it’s time to get rid of Cinco de Mayo.
Think they would go along with that?
Let’s face it, that kind of “people are too dumb to think for themselves so we’ll do it for them” is the pure essence of liberalism. Anybody that you’re not paying attention to is NOT actually important to you.
Again, not that lucky. If I didn’t go out of my way for the mothers I’d hear about it all freaking year. They demand the day, neither of them deserves it, which of course is why they want it. The reaction is only priceless because don’t tend to buy poo. They’re getting the attention they demand, no gratitude, no happiness, just smug desserts.
If a restaurant went broke because of no mother’s day, they were going broke anyway.
I hate being told to celebrate something like MD, as if the spontaneous celebrations throughout the year weren’t “official”. I don’t have a Mother situation like you’re describing, but I totally get your hatred of forced insincerity. Many aspects of life are tainted by it.
Duty has its place, though, and you honor it.
I am NOT a snowflake, but as a mother who lost her only child, I find all of the Mother’s Day hype, i.e., Hallmark, retail stores, etc. hard to take. It is like a knife through my heart.
I think I will stop buying cards from this point on.
Otherwise, my Mother's Day consists of putting on a barbecue for the mothers in my life. Today I have grass-fed lamb chops for them and a big steak for me with a bowl of cherries, corn on cob, brussels sprouts, mushrooms, garlic and summer squash. Bottles of wine.
For the wife, I might run a load of laundry and the dishwasher.
Forget the cards. Time to eat and drink and let the mothers take it easy for the day.
I worked in a restaurant in my early days. Mother's Day was literally hell on earth. That is the WORST time to go to a restaurant. Take it from somebody who worked in one. You would not believe what goes on in the kitchen to keep up with the orders. Not to mention the second-line waitstaff trying to keep up with it all. (Some of the senior waitstaff want that day for themselves).
You are much better off cooking a nice meal for your mother and wife at home - on the grill!
No, please do not give up Cinco de Mayo. It’s the one day out of the year I drag out the blender and mix up pitchers of margaritas all night long and have an excuse to buy a bottle or two of overpriced tequila.
Yep! That’s what I’m doing.
Bruce Jenner celebrates himself.
We used to do a Mothers Day BBQ for them. Now they’re both gone so...... No need to spend that amount of money on a card. The dollar stores have plenty of great, suitable cards. They’re either $1 each or sometimes 2 for a dollar. All my cards, bags, wrapping paper, etc comes from the dollar stores.
It is natural to have an affinity for “your own people”, to favor family over strangers, to have a sense of “your own nation”, the people with whom you share a culture, a history, and a degree of extended kinship.
The Elites do not like people having a sense of community with “their own”. It makes it much harder for Elites to divide and control people.
Diversity is the enemy of nationalism and community. Screw diversity.
My son bought mom a corsage. She wore it today to the brunch and got lots of complements from everyone.
She said it was the nicest gift ever and she is going to put it away with her other momentos which includes flowers from her wedding arrangement, my boutonniere (both from our wedding 30 years ago).
It may seem silly or even ridiculous to some but her reaction and made my day, week, month and year. It was well worth it. :)
We went to a museum, it was OK. Luckily my MIL is in New Mexico where she belongs. And my mother’s shrink must have upped her meds recently so she wasn’t too nuts.
Narcissistic people tend to do that.
Yikes. Now I understand. My apologies.
Nothing greater than a loving mother and absolutely nothing worse than a terrible mother or parent.
Parents can really screw up kids.
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