My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy.

New York Times ^ | 04/19/2017 | Lisa Selin Davis

[SeekAndFind]

“I just wanted to check,” the teacher said. “Your child wants to be called a boy, right? Or is she a boy that wants to be called a girl? Which is it again?”

I cocked my head. I am used to correcting strangers, who mistake my 7-year-old daughter for a boy 100 percent of the time.

In fact, I love correcting them, making them reconsider their perceptions of what a girl looks like. But my daughter had been attending the after-school program where this woman taught for six months.

“She’s a girl,” I said. The woman looked unconvinced. “Really. She’s a girl, and you can refer to her as a girl.”

Later, when I relayed this conversation to my daughter, she said, “More girls should look like this so it’s more popular so grown-ups won’t be so confused.”

My daughter wears track pants and T-shirts. She has shaggy short hair (the look she requested from the hairdresser was “Luke Skywalker in Episode IV”). Most, but not all, of her friends are boys. She is sporty and strong, incredibly sweet, and a girl.

And yet she is asked by the pediatrician, by her teachers, by people who have known her for many years, if she feels like, or wants to be called, or wants to be, a boy.

In many ways, this is wonderful: It shows a much-needed sensitivity to gender nonconformity and transgender issues. It is considerate of adults to ask her — in the beginning.

But when they continue to question her gender identity — and are skeptical of her response — the message they send is that a girl cannot look and act like her and still be a girl.

She is not gender nonconforming. She is gender role nonconforming.

[Ambrosia]

I think Ephesians Chapter 6:12 lets us know that our true enemies are the 4 classifications of demonic spirits listed. What is not normally understood is that when a person dies, those entities wander about looking for another to inhabit!

The regression of so many people in America has made them targets of evil demons, those released in combat, suicide bombers, or released from perverse and tormented souls who die. I have seen in past 10 years an upswing in our youth grabbing for things that once would have been considered unsavory. Are parents not teaching their children, or is the atmosphere of our schools so sic and sinister, that public education needs to be ended??

In early 1800s most students were homeschooled or with private tutor, and even into 1900s, most spoke more than one language and understood history, literature, math, and were proficient in writing. I read that our college students cannot pass an 8th grade math test from that era???

Our souls are made up of our mind, will, and emotions. The essence of who we are! Yet emotional instability is a real issue now. I can’t believe the lack of common sense, or even common decency. People are rude, inconsiderate, hateful, and always blaming someone for their problems.

I grew up in ‘hippie generation’, yet even what I see today makes me shake my head in unbelief, that a civilized nation can go so far down in one or two generations. The progress in civil rights has been ruined by Obama and the Democrats, who have no clue how to act or respect others.

I agree with all you said, except many there are more than 100 million now??

[Ambrosia]

I think Ephesians Chapter 6:12 lets us know that our true enemies are the 4 classifications of demonic spirits listed. What is not normally understood is that when a person dies, those entities wander about looking for another to inhabit!

The regression of so many people in America has made them targets of evil demons, those released in combat, suicide bombers, or released from perverse and tormented souls who die. I have seen in past 10 years an upswing in our youth grabbing for things that once would have been considered unsavory. Are parents not teaching their children, or is the atmosphere of our schools so sic and sinister, that public education needs to be ended??

In early 1800s most students were homeschooled or with private tutor, and even into 1900s, most spoke more than one language and understood history, literature, math, and were proficient in writing. I read that our college students cannot pass an 8th grade math test from that era???

Our souls are made up of our mind, will, and emotions. The essence of who we are! Yet emotional instability is a real issue now. I can’t believe the lack of common sense, or even common decency. People are rude, inconsiderate, hateful, and always blaming someone for their problems.

I grew up in ‘hippie generation’, yet even what I see today makes me shake my head in unbelief, that a civilized nation can go so far down in one or two generations. The progress in civil rights has been ruined by Obama and the Democrats, who have no clue how to act or respect others.

I agree with all you said, except many there are more than 100 million now??

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

"She is not gender nonconforming. She is gender role nonconforming."

Actually, she is gender nonconforming -- or, you could say she's sex-role nonconforming.

Words matter, and conflating "gender" with "sex" makes sensible discussion of these issues impossible (the article is a case in point). The former (gender) is social or social/psychological -- so it mainly has to do with assigned "roles". The latter is biological -- and can not be changed by cross-dressing, by taking drugs, or even by operations.

[meadsjn]

I thought the number of mentally deranged people here was well over 100 million.

Well, of course. The 79.8 Million are just the ones on medication, the bonafide loonies on paper. Gazillions more are just running around untreated, undocumented, and just naturally bat-guana crazy.

[keving]

Very sexist clothes and overall comment. Sounds like justification for editorial, sociaety acceptance, and therapy.

[tomkat]

When I was in the Army, I wore my hair VERY short. Who had TIME to fuss with it, plus you had Helmet Head every day, anyway.

I'm way too old for the Army these days, but adhere to the above sentiment on a bi-weekly basis   ;-)

[covertInLA]

I will take an ex-tomboy over a princess any day.

[Cloverfarm]

I’m sure glad I grew up when I did ... I was (still kind of am ...) a tomboy. I liked fishing, shooting, climbing trees, riding horses, music, art, make-up, JOhn Deere tractors, dairy cows, trucks, and fashion history. And had a huge crush on Tom Selleck back in the day.

If some of those do-gooders got a-hold of me when I was a kid I would have been seriously messed up.

I never doubted my gender. My interests were varied.

People try harder now than in the 1950s to put people in rigid categories based on temporary likes and dislikes.It’s really puzzling. And as usual with a lot of our society’s problems, kids get the worst of it.

[Texan5]

You are a gentleman and a scholar, sir...

[Fresh Wind]

The Who-I’m a Boy (1967)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3apJAMySqrI

One little girl was called Jean-Marie
Another little girl was called Felicity
Another little girl was Sally-Joy
The other was me
And I’m a Boy

My name is Bill and I’m a head case
They practice making-up on my face
Yeah I feel lucky if I get trousers to wear
Spend days just taking hairpins from my hair

I’m a boy, I’m a boy
But my ma won’t admit it
I’m a boy, I’m a boy
But if I say I am
I get it

Put your frock on, Jean-Marie
Plait your hair, Felicity
Paint your nails little Sally-Joy
Put this wig on little boy

I’m a boy, I’m a boy
But my ma won’t admit it
I’m a boy, I’m a boy
But if I say I am
I get it

I wanna play cricket on the green
Ride my bike across the street
Cut myself and see my blood
I wanna come home all covered in mud

I’m a boy I’m a boy
But my ma won’t admit it
I’m a boy, I’m a boy, I’m a boy
I’m a boy, I’m a boy, I’m a boy, I’m a boy
I’m a boy, I’m a Boy
I’m, A, Boy!

[Bodega]

I, a mother of 3 and a set of triplets who didn’t make to even one-month hood, having had several wonderful husbands, who liked to ride motorcycles and horses, who was a veterinarian and a scientific researcher with a PhD, who wears her hair short or long depending, who is strong, resilient and loving, is a woman and never wanted any gender assignment.

You would never think I was a man yet I shoot guns very well and had I been in the Army, might have become a sniper but being in the Navy I went to avian electronics schools. So, what am I?

Independent, happy, inquisitive, artistic, musical and loving life no matter what it shoves or donates to my personal being.

I think organization of people into strict sexual roles is just stupidly ignorant. People should be allowed to be whatever it is they are and do those things that give them joy because it is with that very joy that love then powers everything in and around them.