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Aurelius, you stupid toad, how can you say that your chariot is any good? It was made by Brutus, and we all know he is a stuffer of monkeys!" "Ah, Marcus you lying troll, you mutant offspring of various barnyard animals, your chariot is worthless even as firestarter for the oven of a syphilitic pottery maker!"

Rolling mine eyes in mirth, as everyone knows who has two thoughts worth thinking, the only Chariots worth buying are imported Chariots from either Greece or Thrace! Domestic crap isn't worth riding off the lot. . . If it'll get that far! You might as well trade them in for two donkeys and and a cart for all the use you'll get out of 'em before you break an axle or crack a tongue. Don't get me started on that Egyptian Junk. The Pharoah II won't float worth a damn. Just ask Ramses the Great, lost a whole army using those damn things! I wouldn't trust any of those sieves. . .