[SamAdams76]

"You know…I’ve had enough of this campaign. All these people demonizing me. The Free Republic website making fun of me for standing on my tippy-toes at that debate. And now it’s gone VIRAL all over the Internet.

So if you folks want to go ahead and elect Trump, go right ahead. I don’t need this. I’ve got better and cooler things to do. Such as staying at home making guacamole with my wife Columba. And now I’m NOT giving out our secret recipe. That was only going to be if I could be president. So for all those who purchased my $75 guacamole bowl, I’m sorry, but Donald Trump ruined it for everybody. Now NOBODY is going to have me as president and NOBODY is going to get the secret recipe. The whole nation could have enjoyed that recipe but now Columba and I are just going to keep it all to ourselves. Maybe Donald and Melania Trump have a guacamole recipe for you guys. So why don’t you go as them..

And speaking of Trump, I guess I will never live down being called LOW ENERGY. Low energy? Does Trump not realize that I’ve been jetting around the country doing fundraiser after fundraiser? Let’s see how much energy Trump would have if he had to ride in the back of a 737 like me and do nothing but eat rubber chicken dinners all week long at these fundraisers. Like me, he would probably also have diarrhea five days a week and then let’s see how much energy he would have then.

Hoo-boy. This was NOT what I signed up for. Man, am I going to sock it to my brother Georgie next time I run into him. He said 'Don't worry Jebbie, don't worry. Just do what they tell you to do and the nomination is yours. It'll be a cakewalk. Everything's been arranged'.

Yeah, right. Everything's been arranged. Does SIX percent in the polls look to you like it's been arranged? Does THIRD place in Florida look like’s it’s a done deal? I don't think so.

Now my brother is angry with me because Ted Cruz is polling better than me. My brother hates Ted Cruz because he does not make nice with the Democrats like he and our father did all these years.

So this weekend, I get dragged into a family pow-wow. An “intervention” as they tried to play it. Even my mother was ganging up on me. Told me I never should’ve run in the first place and now I’m getting my “comeuppance."

Not…what…I…signed…up…for.

Well I’ve had it up to here with this nonsense. What is Donald Trump still doing in this race anyhow? My brother told me not to take him seriously and that he would drop out by Labor Day. Here it is almost Halloween and this Trump is still haunting me.

I hate this campaign and I hate everybody who is running against me. I also hate all the people who come to my rallies and proceed to fall asleep. Somebody get me off this Crazy Train.

And you people on the Free Republic, who continue to make my life miserable by your incessant posting of that “Tippy Toes” graphic and all that other nonsense you post about me, you all can go to hell. After tomorrow, you won’t have me to kick around anymore.

Tippy-Toes…OUT!

[Tau Food]

THAT is very, very good. Thank you. ;-)

[MinuteGal]

Post of the week, Sam....nay, the month.....hell, maybe even the year!

I'm still chortling.

Good work!

Leni

[cradle of freedom]

FIVE STARS

[RitaOK]

PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!

[lovesdogs]

“Tippy toes out”

Love love love that. You channeled the crybaby well.

[CARTOUCHE]

Sam I am. A most excellent repartee !

[TTFlyer]

Well done!

[freedumb2003]

My wife makes a great guacamole (she is from Mexico) and I will share the recipe for free if anyone wants.

We have 2 variants: 1 with onion (for me) and one without.

It is similar to the tableside guacamole you get at the better restaurants in Puerto Vallarta (too bad for the MSM it wasn’t destroyed), Mexico DF, Vera Cruz, and the Riviera Maya.

[mkjessup]

BRILLIANT !!!

[Islander2]

Absolutely brilliant !!!

[Vision Thing]

Even if jeb drops out, I hope you continue these jeb monologues for the remainder of the election. They’re awesome! :)

[Syncro]

Nice SamAdams ya nailed it

Put it on twitter:

Gary Pon ‏@GaryZPon 3m3 minutes ago

http://FreeRepublic.com  weighs in on JEB "You know…I’ve had enough of this campaign. All these people demonizing me http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3352877/posts?page=44#44 …

[Rodamala]

Worst. Opus. Ever.

[flaglady47]

Very clever writing. Loved it.

[who knows what evil?]

Damn...that ‘tortoise’ certainly doesn’t sound very ‘joyful’ to me...no, siree.

[hawkaw]

LOL!!!!!