Posted on 08/30/2015 3:43:02 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Values.
That’s the one thing that always came up when I’d discuss theories on declining marriage rates or the rise of the hookup culture with my friends or family.
“Couldn’t it just be that times have changed?” people would ask.
Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock.
Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal. In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios.
Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. Right. But the problem is a demographic one.
Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women. Why? According to 2012 population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, there are 5.5 million college-educated women in the U.S. between the ages of 22 and 29 versus 4.1 million such men. That’s four women for every three men. Among college grads age 30 to 39, there are 7.4 million women versus 6.0 million men—five women for every four men.
It’s not that He’s Just Not That Into You—it’s that There Just Aren’t Enough of Him.
(Excerpt) Read more at time.com ...
>>btw - women worldwide don’t seek mates below their class level. This isn’t new.
But that’s class level and not education level. A young woman with a studies degree and a $30k/yr job thinks that she is too good for a welder with a certificate and a $80k/yr job.
It used to be said that in NYC a woman was more likely to be killed in a terrorist attack than get married. Since 9/11, they’ve kind of dropped that analogy!
Too many women get a college degree then use that as a measuring stick, refusing to date working men with a technical school education, ignoring the fact that the guys are A. working B. make decent money C. abundant.
Then they wonder why there aren’t enough guys around, after women dominated the college arena to the detriment of men.
Agreed. But the left has made the idea of being a woman, like June Cleaver, is to be weak and helpless....so many American women miss the quiet strength June Cleaver possessed.
Most women want men who are smarter, richer, and taller than them.
At last, someone explains to me why I'm always entranced by (intelligent) women from less developed cultures. They understand womanhood and dive in with total enthusiasm. And yes, they are powerful, not weak….at all. <> I am speaking from experience, including marital experience.
“All I’ve got to say is “thanks.” You made your bed, now sleep in it...alone!”
So well and aptly spoken! I’m of an age to have watched this happen and wondered why the feminists couldn’t realize the consequences of what they were attempting. Feminists, in my view, are just as guilty of perversion as gays. They have gotten what they wanted, now all women will pay the price. Any woman who dares to devote her time to being a homemaker and a mother in this country is made to feel like she is failing by her peers. I’ve got a message for them too. No dears, you can’t do it all! If you could, our society wouldn’t be in the mess it is now.
I've long felt that urban living is incompatible with a normal family life for most people.
I really enjoyed reading the article.
I remember when that made the cover of Newsweek. Some “friend” at work gave it to me, making a joke of my singleness.
Feminism tells us that patriarchy is bad for women, good for men. But it’s men, not women who are abandoning the LDS church, maybe the most patriarchal of all large Christian denominations.
In the LDS church, women are actively seeking to fill traditional female roll, but there aren’t enough men to fill the traditional male roles.
I wonder how feminism would explain that.
It’s very interesting how an apparently minor factor such as a couple of years’ age difference has a major impact.
I’m trying to think of all my married friends everyone but in one couple the female married a male a year or so older thus she is.
One friend married a guy six months younger than she, but they were in the same HS graduating class, born the same year.
My dad is five years older than my mom. When I was little, I assumed all moms were younger than dads.
My husband is 3-1/2 years older than I am.
The author tried to isolate the demographic factor by analyzing groups with a homogeneous culture and little “marriage out.” The comparison of Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish marriage customs was very illustrative.
“American women have been confused by feminism and the media into being anything they want....except being a woman.
American women embrace work, challenges, travel, etc. American women do not embrace being a woman.”
Quite right!
Look at the “Rosie The Riveter” posters during WWII who had the arms of a man.
Then in the mid-1960s you had the media put Twiggy in the limelight. She had no curves and had her hair chopped off.
And from there it just cascaded.
Instead of having the lesbians and homosexuals run the media, and thus confusing American women, let the heterosexuals run it.
Yes, it is. And the idea of paying a $100,000 dowry. I didn’t realize that community was so affluent.
Well, it doesn’t seem to be $100,000 up front, but up to $100,000 in support over several years.
Agreed. I’ve read of a few in my state who became millionaires by real estate speculation. But that is a few out of what? Thousands?
There is a very useful comparison not being made. Orthodox Jews in NYC vs. Orthodox Jews in Israel.
In NYC, the Orthodox used to live in very closed communities, generally outside of the American cultural norm. But today their communities are very open and integrating (compared to what they were). This by itself may explain their declining marriage rate, as well as smaller families.
In Israel, many of the Orthodox live in very closed communities. Very isolationist, they have a very high marriage rate as well as very large families. If it continues another few generation, the Orthodox will start displacing Israeli Arabs, whose birthrates have lowered to just replacement levels.
An interesting note is that both groups use the Internet, but the Israeli Orthodox use it exclusively for business.
“A young woman with a studies degree and a $30k/yr job thinks that she is too good for a welder with a certificate and a $80k/yr job.”
A smart woman would snap Mr. Welder right up, especially if he’s decent looking and acting. Mr. Welder is making damn fine money and has damn fine long term employment prospects, but beyond that, it’s highly likely Mr. Welder is a self-reliant type that probably knows how to repair almost anything.
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