Posted on 07/24/2015 12:51:11 PM PDT by markomalley
I’m not going to excerpt it for you, despite the length. You need to watch it all; if you can’t spare 20 minutes, at least watch the middle third where he gets into corporate cooptation of the one-party state. This is one of the most brutal attacks — not incorrect, mind you, just brutal — you’ll ever see by a senator on his colleagues, starting with his own majority leader. Sample quote: “[This majority] does get things done, but it listens to one and only one voice: That is, the voice of the Washington cartel, of the lobbyists on K Street, of the big money and big corporations.” This guy is talking about his own caucus.
Nominally, this speech is about McConnell’s betrayal of opponents of the Ex-Im bank and his Reid-esque procedural scam to block conservative amendments that could have jeopardized the Iran deal. What it really is, of course, is a campaign commercial for Cruz 2016 aimed at all the Trump voters he covets but who prefer someone (for the moment) who stands outside the political class. This is Cruz’s way of showing them that not only is he willing to throw punches at the establishment too, he hits much harder than Trump does. The unspoken point is, “If you detest Washington and its endless corrupt excrescences, why would you support him instead of me?” Good question. I have no idea.
I wonder what Cruz is planning to do career-wise if his presidential campaign falls short. It’s hard to imagine him hanging around the Senate for decades, as it’ll be an even lonelier place for him after this than it already was. I assume he has his eye on a seat on an appellate court somewhere, either at the circuit level or SCOTUS itself, once a Republican’s back in the White House. Alienating the people who vote to confirm federal judges is an … interesting strategy, but maybe Cruz figures that a Senate Republican majority would be too scared of the base to reject him. Even if you dislike his style politically, there’s no question he’d be a staunch conservative as a judge. You deny the right another Scalia on the bench at your peril.
(video at link)
An attorney falls into shark infested waters but the sharks don’t touch him. Why?
Let me guess, professional courtesy.
Everyone hates Lawyers...until they need one.
They hadn’t signed a consent form for that much closeness?
Bada bing! Bada boom!
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand.”
Not one hand went up . . . . so she took them home and ate them.
Nice!
Bada Bing! Bada boom!
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Wow, tough crowd.
Guess you’ve REALLY got to have a sense of humor around here.
(Me, I’m just an old engineer. Don’t give a s***, laugh at everything and everybody, keep smilin’ ‘cause it drives ‘em nuts trying to figure what you got into now....)
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Ha! Ha!
Q: Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Remember when McCain said that there were members of congress who were crooks for being bought by campaign contributions and McConnell asked him on the floor of the senate to name the crooks? McCain chickened out. McConnell knew he would chicken out because they’ve all got so much dirt on each other.
Makes one wonder how corporations influenced the Iran deal in regards to the Senate. On the face of it, the deal is nonsense, unless the entire point of the deal is to lift sanctions.
Keep ‘em coming. This is good!!!!!!
A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the paralegal. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the partner.
The partner says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen lawyers.
The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the lawyers would call the pound on the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?”
One of the lawyers replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. “You lawyers shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t any of you lawyers know it’s a sin to lie,” and ending with, “Why, since I was ordained, I never told a lie.”
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the oldest lawyer in the group gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”
Awesome!
A guy phones a law office and says: “I want to speak to my lawyer.”
The receptionist replies “I’m sorry but he died last week.”
The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies “I told you yesterday, he died last week.”
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says “I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”
The guy says, “Because I just love hearing you say that.”
Don’t change the subject. ;-)
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