'How I found out my partner was gay'

BBC News ^ | 8 July 2015 | Sarah Bell

[MinorityRepublican]

Many gay men and women end up marrying people of the opposite sex. But what is it like for the spouse who eventually finds their marriage breaking down?

Recently we told the stories of gay men who had married women. It prompted a strong response from readers who had experienced it from the other side - those whose wives and husbands had come out as gay.

"It feels almost homophobic to say anything about them. To me it's not brave to spend 10 or 20 years with someone only to destroy and discard them," says Emma. She found out her husband was gay a year ago.

"They may go on and have a wonderful new life while leaving a crushed wife behind. You just feel like your whole life is wasted and there's no closure."

One of the most difficult things for many spouses is watching their former partner being celebrated as brave for coming out, but knowing the damage they've left behind.

It is an experience to which Carol, 43, can relate. With her former husband now active in gay rights, she received a message calling him an inspiration and a role model.

"I was disgusted by this, that someone actually considered him to be both of these things when he had spent our entire relationship lying to both himself and myself.

"To me, there is nothing to be proud of - he destroyed our family through his failure to admit that he was in fact gay," she explains.

[LouAvul]

I’m an old married man with all the transfats running around I’d be askeert of the dating scene lest I went out with some broad born a man.

[PapaBear3625]

I knew a girl, one of my kid's friends, whose father decided he preferred being a woman. This was while his daughter was in high school. He shows up at her high school play, as a woman, with his new "partner", who was ALSO a man who decided he preferred living as a woman.

I cannot IMAGINE how the poor girl felt, with her friends seeing the freak that was her father.

[mort56]

Who cares?

[humblegunner]

'How I found out my partner was gay'

He had a blog.

Boom.

[lulu16]

Let's ask Fran Dresher: "Fran Drescher was honored Tuesday at the Stonewall Community Foundation Vision Awards and thanked everyone including her “gay ex-husband.” Honored for her advocacy, she quipped, “I have a gay art dealer, a gay dermatologist — not to mention my hairdresser. I have a gay ex-husband! People always say to me [of her ex], ‘How did you not know?’ He loves decorating and fashion and clothes, but we actually did have sex a lot. I didn’t know at the time, though, that in his mind he was f - - king the bartender at Olive Garden.”

[NativeSon]

Awesome

[ghost of nixon]

Michelle O needs to read this

[lee martell]

Another take on the Caitlyn Jenner Story, from his/her former wife’s perspective. The abandoned spouse is left feeling deceived and used. Especially when the changing spouse says ‘they knew all along’ that they would never be happy in a basic hetro traditional marriage.

[RginTN]

obama celebrated some gay may who came out. That man had a fiance who he never told. That is how many women get fatal STds. What is admirable about a gay man who perpetrates a fraud on a wife,fiance or girlfriend? Just shows the lack of class gay activists have.

[Doogle]

[Fungi]

More and more crap thrown at us to force us into the sinkhole of conformity with evil. Don't go along.

[Chickensoup]

but we actually did have sex a lot. I didn’t know at the time, though, that in his mind he was f - - king the bartender at Olive Garden.” ___________________ heartbreaking

[Jeff Chandler]

'How I found out my partner was gay'

He had a blog.

Which he managed on a Mac.

[NativeSon]

When my Wife turn's 50, I planning on coming out to my Family as man that has been living a lie; I really want to nail other women, especially hot 20 something year old blondes.

Will I be hailed as a brave man and have shot at starting my advocacy group?

[bicyclerepair]

Holy crap. How could anyone lose Fran Drescher?

D@mn she was smoking hot in the nanny!

Rules people.

[kaehurowing]

In the Episcopal Church, they celebrate you and make you a bishop for abandoning your wife and kids to engage in homosexual sex.

[CitizenUSA]

You can’t help your orientation and sexual identity as an older man who wants to nail hot, young women. No one should judge you. In fact, you should be honored for having the courage to come out of the proverbial closet to reveal your inner need to nail hot, young women.

(BTW, your point—I think—was very well made.)

[Rides_A_Red_Horse]

She’s also a liberal with a very obnoxious voice!

[CitizenUSA]

Blast! I forgot to put the obligatory /sarc tag on the first part.